Comments on Makes Me Wanna Holler: Man, Dad, Husband | Great, Bad And Crazy of Fatherhood And Marriage: My Piano Keys --- Her Mom is NOT White (& Neither ...

Wow!! Great post! Adiam and Brooke said it best. I...

2009-04-17T09:38:00.000-04:00

Wow!! Great post! Adiam and Brooke said it best. Im the one always getting the "good hair" comment. Uggghhhh, just makes me sick. Especially when I went back to embracing my natural hair. God made no mistakes when created each and every one of us. My family is Black, Jamaican, & Panamanian. Yet at the end of the day Im black and so is my daughter.

We must embrace the different flavors we come in when it comes to hair and complexion.

Wow Wow Wow...I know I am little late on this one....

2009-03-11T15:42:00.000-04:00

Wow Wow Wow...I know I am little late on this one. People never fail to amaze me. This is one of the most annoying questions I get asked in the US " Are you black?" I'll never get it. My origins are in Eritrea ( East Africa ) but for most of my life I was raised in Germany.In Europe the question whether I was black was never asked..it was more " how do you comb your hair, how often do you wash it, how come your cousin has a darker shade than you, do you tan in the sun, ever get sunburned, when are you going back to Africa, do you speak African...bla bla bla". It was pretty obvious that I was black..as matter of fact there might have been numerous times as an only black child in elementary school I wished I wasn't..sad but true. You think black people in the States are a minority..please.The first time I moved to the US I was proud and happy to see what we as Black people were able to accomplish and all the opportunities we had to move forward. Black TV, Black Magazines..boy I felt like I was spoken to for the first time in my life. Don't get me wrong, growing up in Germany after all was a blessing, and it will always be my home, besides my orginal home. The issues I ecountered as a black woman were never addressed in a country that had no significant history of black people. To make a long story short. I am still amazed by the people ( mostly blacks) who ask me if I am black...every time I get asked that questions all I want to say is " last time I checked in the mirror I was". Mind you but where I am from, it does not matter if you are black Dominican, black Jamaican, black African or African American ( I hear on this one Brooke)..if I look at you and you are obviously of a black race, you are black-period.- and yes I do agree Eric that we are all mixed.I had this girl at CVS argue with me that my hair was too good for me to be black, even after I gave her a 20 min lecture about being from Africa & both of my parents are black and I am not mixed.Another time, some Haitian girls were telling my cousin and I that we can't be Africans because we simply don't look like Africans? I asked how Africans look like in their opinion...didn't get an answer. Makes me wonder of the picture we have of ourselves. So I wonder what do they really mean when they ask me if I am black? I can't help but wonder if African Americans are claiming being Black only for African Americans? I don't know but my good friend who is African American still can't grasp the fact that I am black because I look spanish to her? To set the record straight, am I African American? No. Am I Black? HELL YES and proud of it! It's 2009, we finally have a black President in the United States, there are millions of black people that exist outside of the US and Africa, we do come in all shades, shapes and hair types, some of us speak English, some of us Dutch, German,Tigrinya,Swahili,French,Creole etc and I love it. It's about time we learn, understand and appreciate our diverseness. Only if we love ourselves and teach the same our children will we continue to succeed. Word of advice, stop calling coarse hair bad, and silky hair good..it's the simple things we do and say in our every day lives that make the biggest impact! And I did want to make a long story short...hmmm ~ moi

Husband Land aka Al - thanks for your comment and ...

2009-03-06T14:15:43.466-05:00

Husband Land aka Al - thanks for your comment and for visiting. Welcome. Hope you'll stick around!

Wow - I must have been living in a cave somewhere....

2009-03-06T14:06:00.000-05:00

Wow - I must have been living in a cave somewhere. As a "white" guy, I didn't know this was a such a hot topic in the African-Amerian community. I'm a bit ashamed to admit it, but its true.

Thanks for the education.

Love your stuff
-Al

The blond hair probably threw everyone for a loop!...

2009-03-06T01:59:00.000-05:00

The blond hair probably threw everyone for a loop! I'll be curious to see what my nephew's go thru. My sister's husband is from Morocco, yet everyone assumes he's Italian. Why? Cuz he has an olive complexion and owns a pizza shop. Just silly.

Once someone asked my 5 year nephew "what he was"...and he said "5" :)

Then they said, "no, what color are you?" and he said "beige." I couldn't believe it when my sister told me that...and this was asked of him at SCHOOL by ANOTHER PARENT!!! She promptly told this other parent about herself and kept it moving. The nerve of some people...just plain ignorant.

It kills me that someone would actually ask anothe...

2009-03-05T23:20:00.000-05:00

It kills me that someone would actually ask another person that. I had someone ask me "what I was" once. And it always made me more mad when another black person questioned me.

When my daughter was born the nurse that checked me in the hospital had my race listed as "other" on my chart. When shifts changed the new nurse asked me to confirm that I was indeed a black woman so she could change the chart. After a good laugh at the first nurses expense, my daughter was born 6 hours later. She was a bright lightskin child with blond hair. I wonder what they checked on her box.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

@Brooke - funny! I hear you. I remember telling a ...

2009-03-05T01:36:11.346-05:00

@Brooke - funny! I hear you. I remember telling a Haitian guy I wasn't Haitian and I'll never forget him telling me, "You have the complexion for it." He was blue-black. Huh? Yeah if you go into a deep enough explanation (as you briefly did with your gene pool) then sure there may or may not be a reason for your variances from one black person to the next, but then here's another thought. What makes them so "Black" to give them the authority to question you? Coarse hair? No "distinct" features? I think these individuals have the bigger issues. And as far as those of other ethnicities willing to question yours, well that's just ignorant, presumptive, insulting, prejudiced and rude to insinuate that you "must be something else," or "must be something more" if you have straight to wavy hair, light eyes or a lighter complexion, and even worse to put a child in a box like this, when they could truly care less. The wife and I will and have done everything in our power to prevent our kids from growing up colorstruck or subscribing to its "isms."

By the way, Brooke - you're Number One on the Top Commenters list!

This topic seems to always pop up. I even blogged ...

2009-03-04T23:50:21.037-05:00

This topic seems to always pop up. I even blogged about good and bad hair and skin color once. It amazes me the ignorance some of us...A LOT of us...have - both black and white.

People used to ask my sister and I all the time if we had the same dad. I guess since we lived together they automatically knew we had the same mom. My sister is fairer than I am, but only by maybe 2-3 shades, nothing drastic. Yet because she has long, wavy hair and I don't, we must automatically have a different father even though some say we look exactly alike.

What I also find interesting, especially since moving to NYC, is that Africans think I'm African, Dominicans think I'm Dominican, Jamaicans think I'm Jamaican, etc. People see what they want to see. When asked, I simply say I'm black. Who wants to run down their family tree all the time? Sure, I could say "well, my paternal great-grandfather was a German Jew who married an Ethiopian woman, my maternal great-grandmother was half Italian and half French Creole who married a man from Martinique." We'd be here all day! I'm black, let's just leave it at that. Why folks always seek to define you, simply because they're color struck, is beyond me.

When Jesus went back to His hometown, He marvelled...

2009-03-04T15:37:56.326-05:00

When Jesus went back to His hometown, He marvelled and was in awe...not that the people there were so receptive, but at their unbelief.

These days, I marvel at the ignorance of otherwise intelligent people when it comes to color. I grew up in a military environment, and it didn't matter what your color was...there was a conglomerate of EVERYTHING in school!

Either way, it's really disappointing. I celebrate the beauty of your family, though! Everyone else can kiss your grits. LOL

Wow...you brought me back to may days in school wh...

2009-03-04T00:57:47.022-05:00

Wow...you brought me back to may days in school when I felt I had to explain that my light skinned father was truley my father. I feel the need to be like...my mother is really dark.

It sucks to be told that you have bad hair. My mother would tell me I ended up with my grandfathers hair and of course my aunts would joke about how rough is hair was. Nappy is a word often used by my family.

So, as you see...Latinos also come in all colors but only the darker ones seem to get rediculed about about how dark they are or how bad our hair is.

Great post E

Funny our focus on complexion....and hair texture....

2009-03-03T21:37:44.129-05:00

Funny our focus on complexion....and hair texture....interesting to know that men have hair issues too.

Good post E. I guess I'm not surprised by what yo...

2009-03-03T21:29:27.824-05:00

Good post E. I guess I'm not surprised by what you've experienced. When I was younger and did have hair, because it wasn't coarse it was always assumed that I was not Black, but either Latino or Indian. Black was always the last guess and was always followed up with, "Well you must be mixed". Despite the fact I am half Chinese I was always amused by the assumption I that I had to be of mixed descent because my hair was straight.

Interestingly enough, now that I no longer have hair I am never mistaken for anything else but Black. Go figure.

Peace,
Ken

Everyone - Amen to all of your comments. They all ...

2009-03-03T16:41:47.025-05:00

Everyone - Amen to all of your comments. They all speak volumes. Glad to know I'm not the only one.

You're right... It isn't anyone's business who is ...

2009-03-03T14:31:50.743-05:00

You're right... It isn't anyone's business who is what and what ever race/heritage/background.

That being said... I've come across some situations where it isn't just black people who focus on the color of ones skin to pass judgment. Indians (those of the Asian persuasion), Hispanics and a couple of other groups I've come across do the same exact thing. It's really sad that we are stuck on skin color when character speaks volumes.

Great post! I am a new reader and fan - saw you ov...

2009-03-03T13:33:39.037-05:00

Great post! I am a new reader and fan - saw you over at BlackandMarriedwithKids.com.

As a brown woman with curly hair I encounter these questions all the time, and surprisingly it is usually from other Brown people! Some will argue or get indignant when they say what are you mixed with and I say "black and African-American" or they ask me what kind of hair I bought and I tell them I didn't.

The most surprising exchange was when a white woman asked me what products I used because she wanted to wear her natural curls without frizz. I was totally shocked by that one...

One thing I am pleased to see, is that more and more Black women are becoming curious about what their natural hair texture is. So many of us had relaxers at an early age that we don't know we have curls underneath!

Perhaps the more of us who rock our varying textures of hair, the less perplexing it will be for others that yes, Black people do come with alot of variety. Or, maybe it will just confuse them more!

It is sad that in our current age and times that c...

2009-03-03T13:29:16.972-05:00

It is sad that in our current age and times that color is such a source of contention in our community. Even in the caribbean color is an issue although it's more apparent in our class "caste" system.

I have children who are biracial and interestingly enough wrote a similar post on why Mama doesn't look like baby. Even though my children are mixed, I have a lot of family & friends who aren't and one could never tell their ethnicity at first contact.

Wow! That's really crazy. People are so ignorant...

2009-03-03T10:41:12.270-05:00

Wow! That's really crazy. People are so ignorant and really bold to even verbalize the stupiod thoughts they have. Just WOW!

It is unbelievable to me that color - and hair - a...

2009-03-03T09:02:58.039-05:00

It is unbelievable to me that color - and hair - are still such issues in our community. Seems like by now everyone should realize that our gene pools are deep and you never know what combination will materialize!

My mom is fair, my dad is brown. Two of us are brown, two are fair. We are in our 20s and 30s - people still ask us if we have the same parents. Sigh.

My daughter, born of two people who couldn't be mistaken for anything but black, has wavy hair. If one more person asks me what she's mixed with I'm going to formulate an answer that's not nearly as nice as my current which is "her father and I."

I have a relative who is still upset - nearly 10 years later - that her daughter is "so black." And while I pray she doesn't jack her daughter's self esteem because of her own color issues, really, I know that in all likelihood she already has.

I guess hair and color issues will continue to be a part of our "legacy" for at least another couple hundred years.