About E.Payne

 Sunshine. Photo Credit: J.F. Weinberg

I'm E.Payne. I work in the engine room of the ship I call a family. My job is to keep things afloat. And I've got the scars, the burns and very dirty clothes to prove it. I began this journey into blogging roughly 5 months into marriage and a combined 7 years into fatherhood --- 5 years as a stepdad of a very sweet boy (before he became a teen) and 2 years as the father of a very gregarious little girl.  Now as I chase down 3 years of marriage and nearly 3 blogging about it I am what many would call a seasoned father. Seasoned, baked, cooked and well done on most days, or at least that’s the way it feels. At the beginning of the day and at the end I'm just a guy with a wife and kids trying to make sense of growing older, staying in shape (beating back Father Time) having little ones look to me for guidance and a living under the same roof with a woman who I'd be wise to keep happy. These are my stories that I share with you that will hopefully give insight, give hope, give perspective and a hearty laugh from time to time. But this is hardly where my story begins for that you have to read the E.Payne Origin Story.

I've cranked out a lot to read, some pictures to look at --- some of it funny, some of it not so funny, some of it thoughtful and I occasionally stretch my brain and type out nonsense just for the sake of it. Whatever your pleasure, it's probably here. For married men and women, about to be married men and women, women who want to be married, or just someone looking for a little bit of inspiration to get through the day...welcome to the place where I holler...I hope you'll stay awhile.



The wife. The big boss. The captain of the ship. The one who comes out to greet all the guests, invite them to the fancy dinner and escort them off the boat if necessary. She's got a fiery personality. She can crack a serious joke that will leave you holding your stomach or curse you out without blinking and leave you wishing you hadn't woken up that day. She’s all business and just happens to be in business school right now. The day we met my life changed forever --- for better and worse (or is that for better or worse?). Most days I know it's for the better. But there are those few occasional days when I'm forced to wonder. She's the mother of my kids and loves them just as much as I do. A true force of nature who can wear the hell out of a pair of heels and has a 2 closets full of them (to my chagrin).

The Boy. A sweet little big eared thing when I first met him at five. Now he's fifteen, wears a size 15 shoe, is one inch taller than me and thinks he's God's gift to sports...and girls. Most days he's a well-mannered, polite young man who is about as ridiculous as you can get as a teenager. There doesn't seem to be a day of the week that he doesn't strive to outdo himself (most times unwittingly) with some common senseless action(s) or statement(s) that have left the wife and I scratching our heads. Teens in the New Millennium...can I get an Amen, a sigh and one collective eye roll?

My daughter changed everything for me when she arrived because she is a little bit of everything to me. She is my reflection. She is my greatest challenge. She is innocent comfort on days when I don't think I can make it. She is pure fun. She is laughter. She is joy. She is God's gift to the world, just as all children are. She is my assignment until she can do it all on her own, and then some. She is sassy. She is hilarious. She is brilliant. She is defiant. She is articulate. She hatches daily plots to overthrow her mother and I. She is in love with all things Dora. She is everything I ever dreamed of (down to every single detail) during those rare and bizarre moments as a single man when I wondered what it would be like to be a father. She keeps me young. She keeps me thankful. She is the breath I breathe. She is the sun. She is my heart.

I'm just trying to make sense of it all and keep my head at the same time. Most days I wear it all like a "S" on my chest, but sometimes all of it just Makes Me Wanna Holler!

Thanks for stopping by! Pull up a post and read it with a cup of coffee, tea or whatever your beverage of choice may be. Read for a while, and please, Holler Back!

E.Payne 

I am the author of DAD: As Easy As A, B, C - 26 Dos & Don'ts For Fathers and wrote the popular parenting article I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years I've written 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com.

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