My Goals For 2011 - For a Man, Dad And Husband

I rarely talk about my wants or needs to anyone. I got in the habit of maintaining this secrecy while in college. "Better to not talk about what you want and if it doesn't happen no one is the wiser, versus telling everybody your business and being judged if you don't make the mark," one of my fraternity brothers used to tell me constantly until it was permanently hammered into my psyche. So strong has this mantra become that I don't even share my wants with my wife (a no-no). In foresight and hindsight it is a mistake for the simple reason that no one around me is a mind reader. No one can know without me telling them what I want and need. As a result I don't have the right to be mad or sullen when I believe someone is getting in the way of what I want (something I'm good for) when that person doesn't even know what's going on in my head. I do believe this is a me thing. But I'm also inclined to believe it is a Man thing and I definitely believe it is a Dad thing. It's my job to take care of everyone else, or at least seeing to it that everyone else's needs are being met. Although I'm a priority (in my own mind) I don't make myself a priority in the lives of those around me. That's not my job. I'm not their problem. And they in turn have come to believe the same. I have fallen into the ranks of countless men who through lack of communication have become needlessly secretive and a mystery for no reason.

Well thank God for church and people who are smarter and better than me. This past Thursday I watched the Eastern Conference Finals with good friend, Ross Oscar Knight, who in my humble opinion is a master when it comes to self-management, and this past Sunday I went to church where I walked into a sermon called "Eric I'm About To Tell You About Yourself!" ---well not really but it might as well have been called this. I left both experiences thinking differently about myself and what I do to cause the problems that exist in my life.

I have wants and goals but I never make them plain so without further introduction and in no particular order:

• To lose 25 pounds (again) [I've lost 12 already]


• To become financially secure


• To successfully publish DAD: AS Easy As A, B, C! and launch a series of related books


• To write a children's book with a fatherhood theme and partner with a kick-ass children's book illustrator.


• To get a bicycle and bike with my family [As of Mother's Day (gift to the wife) everyone has one except for me]


• To have 2,000+ Facebook Fans of this blog and 2,000+ Followers on Twitter


• To take my wife on a worry-free summer vacation to Barbados (and/or anywhere else she might like to go) all expenses paid by me


• To repair and sell my vehicle in order to purchase one better suited for my needs


• To purchase a new camera


• To use the camera to launch a new fatherhood initiative (details to come)


• To become a successful public speaker
• To monetize this blog


• To earn, maintain/nurture and retain consistent and necessary (recession proof) income for myself and my family


• To get insurance for my wife and I so that I can go to the doctor's office for a much needed tune up


• To pay off 75 percent of my current debt


• To begin the search for the home with my dream backyard and mancave and my wife's dream kitchen

As far as what is reasonable this is what swirls around in my head most days but never crosses my lips. Stay tuned, pray for me as I pursue these wants and goals. I'm counting on God for these things but I know He is counting on me to act to make them happen.

If you're a man, dad and husband or just a man and a dad or just a man, and you happen to find yourself in the same predicament, I suggest you find a place to write down your goals also. To get the ball rolling, to get the wheels of change moving, to have something to shoot for.

E.Payne is the author of the soon to be released DAD: As Easy As A, B, C! and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.