Please forgive the bad grammar of this post title, but my son inspired it and right now he's the only person who can get me so twisted up that I abandon the grammar my momma ingrained in me.
I passed my old iPod Touch down to my son because he pulled his grades up for the 2nd quarter of high school. And he has it as long as he continues to pull his grades up. He has moved quickly to customize it to his tastes --- deleting my jazz and my daughter's sing-a-long music while asking to upload a few current cuts that he likes (and we don't).
I'm pretty open about the music as long as it's not outrageously obscene or disrespectful. I only allow for radio edits when available and I do my best to filter everything else. This is what happened when my son asked me to download, I Invented Sex by current R&B pop (and I mean pop) star Trey Songz:
Mom: No way.
Son: Huh, why not?
Mom: Are you kidding me? I can't control what you listen to at school or wherever but I'm not promoting a 14 year old boy listening to a song called I Invented Sex.
Son: But what did you do when you were young and listening to songs about sex.
Me: They didn't make that kind of music (I choked on the word) when we were coming up. They didn't even make it ten years ago. And it definitely didn't get airplay because of the FCC regulations. But you know these days people are desperate to do anything that will keep their record sales up.
Me: You know he's---
Son: (cutting me off) ...bisexual. I just like the beat.
Me: (Sigh) I was going to say he's being clowned on the Internet by real women. There's a blogger, named Denene Millner, who spoke out strongly against Trey Songz in a post called Boy Please. His ridiculousness in suggesting to the little girls that their only value was between their legs and little boys that they are porn stars which, by most accounts, most women will say most men (no matter the age) are not.
My son nodded his head and said he understood this.
Me: Besides if some little girl doesn't know enough to respect herself ---
Son: (cutting me off again) --- hey if she doesn't that's not my problem.
You could hear a pin drop in my living room except for my daughter usual evening ramblings. I can't say I haven't thought or even uttered the same words myself in my early and maybe late twenties. But I was grown and dealing with
Me (sternly, now glowering at my son): Don't be a jerk.
His mother lit into him about being the product of a family made up predominantly of women (on her side) and the fact that he wasn't raised that way, and that he had a mother and a sister under the same roof.
Mom: If a girl throws herself at you, you walk away. You can set an example. Everyone looks up to you, you can set the bar wherever you want it.
Me: Where is all this stupidness coming from, the football team? Because that can be remedied real quick.
Son: Hey, blame it on high school (that suburban oasis he attends where everyone is doing their best to be a tough guy or a playboy - although this happens at most high schools).
The wife and I both took turns educating and tearing into him for the next several minutes. He disappeared into his room and didn't emerge for a couple of hours.
The conversation with the boy who will be man continues...
Unlike Trey (Wack) Songz and the rest of his contemporaries competing for the most irresponsible and unhealthy lyrics ever, there are some men left who are clear on the fact that they didn't invent sex. Clear on the idea that it's best not to kiss and tell and certain that the best lovemaking takes two --- not one little boy singing about being a jackhammer on some inexperienced girl in a bed made of cheap materials. Some men actually like women who know what they're doing, who are comfortable in their skin, who are their match and then some. Some of us (yeah, I'm including myself in this group) know that true lovemaking is about giving love and being humble enough to let your guard to truly let the love flow, with little to no concern as to whether the love flows back. It might hurt if it doesn't but that doesn't stop this category of men from try, try, trying again. They're every color of the rainbow and they lurk quietly in plain sight, unnoticed by most.
In direct contrast to Trey (Wack) Songz, the singer below doesn't need to sing about headboard-breaking or how skilled he is in the sack. All he does is pour his heart out (like warm honey) all over the woman he's singing to or fantasizing about. This is a dude who gives and asks for forgiveness when he's wrong (just like this uber-wrong video I've posted below). Humility is at the core of his game and his cup is filled and overflowing with love. I've never been mad at this dude for being who he is. I'm actually willing to admit I've taken notes, for better or worse.
It's a travel day for me, folks. I won't be back online until late today (maybe). So if you post and I don't respond, don't take it personal.
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