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Tuesday

Terrible Tuesdays

I've officially been back in the Big Apple for all of seven days and this has been my week:

  • I found an eaten chicken wing on top of my truck.
  • I have been completely incapable of giving myself a clean shave and have walked out of the house more than once with shaving cream in my ears.
  • Every train I've gotten on has either arrived late or broken down.
  • On my way home yesterday, I endured being smashed between two senior citizens on the subway (a man and a woman) who both sat with their legs spread wide like they had packages the size of coconuts. The feel of their old bodies against me made me want to vomit.
  • Over the weekend, on a trip to Rye Playland, my daughter decided to be terrified of me the entire day, which made me feel and look like the worst father in the world.
  • The cat has only allowed me one night of uninterrupted rest.
  • I bought an air conditioner only for the temperature to drop below 70 at night.
  • This morning, in a scene straight out of The Exorcist, my daughter (who has a slight cold) spit Robitussin in my face as my wife and I struggled to give it to her.
Gotta love it.

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