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Good Man, Great Dad, Better Parent?

So I didn't win the 2009 Black Weblog Awards for Best Parenting & Family Blog... Can you hear the tear rolling down my face?

I was mostly happy and blessed for the recognition and the traffic that came with such an honor. I definitely want to thank the people who voted for me to become a finalist and then those who voted for me.

I'd like to congratulate the Popular Vote winner in my category: MyBrownBaby. I've checked out the site and it's really sweet and I don't use terms like,"really sweet."

I'd also like to congratulate the Judge's Vote winner in my category: spelhouseLove. Definitely check it out.

Truth is, I didn't expect to win this category. I was also nominated for Best Writing on a Blog and something else. I believe that since the parenting category was at the top of the list that is what everyone voted for and since I do talk about my family the pick was a natural one. But I'm not sure this is a parenting blog. It's a Daddy Blog and being a Daddy Blogger gives me the liberty to talk about family and be as random about whatever else I want. Just as dads/men are when they get together. This is no insult to us. Instead I believe it conveys the beauty of the many roles a man plays as a family man, a man, and also his stresses. Right now I don't believe anyone has accurately been able to define us dudes who blog as dads, first, then everything else second. Thank God for Dad Blogs, otherwise I think we'd all be trying to figure out how to be Mommy Bloggers with mustaches, beards and...you know.

Since I opened this door, I might as well walk through it...

Mom's have the whole parenting/family scenario on lockdown, even when they don't. The chips are stacked so high against us dads that when it comes to instances of the dissolution of a marriage or some sort of fight for child custody, mom's are presumed to be such the better and more capable parent that they have to either a) give up their parental rights; or b) be some kind of crackhead serial killer in order for any court of law or public opinion to consider men's parental rights over theirs. By no means is this a knock to my esteemed competitors in this category. This is just a rant I've had inside me for some time now. I'll never forget the day I went to collect my daughter from the infirmary to bring her home as dad --- the man who showed up for the birth, stayed up all night watching over mother and baby only to eventually fall asleep sitting straight up on a chair so hard that it felt like someone had taken a crowbar to my lower back when I woke up. The nurse behind the counter looked me over, even with my official hospital, maternity ward bracelet, gave me a pandering, bless your heart smile and said, "Uhm, yeah, sweetheart...we need the mom to come get the baby."

You mean the mom who asked me to come get our daughter because she has stitches running up her middle because our daughter split her in half and can't walk? The baby has a birthmark in the exact same place as my father and I so even if I hadn't wanted her, there's no denying she's mine. I wondered this silently to myself because nurses scare me (they remind me of mean aunts). But this didn't stop me from wishing the woman dead with my eyes. Tail between my legs, literally, I retraced my steps and got my wife.

Care_Father and Son

"I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection." Sigmond Freud...

If I have a point to all this it's that men can not only be great dads, but they can also be great parents and in some instances even the better/stronger of the two parents. This is no slight to moms, or a suggestion that children don't need their mothers, but rather an acknowledgment of fathers doin' it and doin' it VERY well. Not even two weeks ago a friend was telling me over drinks that his father was the parent that stepped up to the plate and knocked the ball out of the park. And his father is a company CEO with a very demanding career.

No different than any team, sooner or later certain players naturally express themselves as being more talented, stronger, sharper, etc. The same is especially true for a two-parent household where there are only two on the team. One is bound to present as the "natural". And there's absolutely nothing wrong with this if the two know how to work as a team.

But that's just my opinion. What do you think?

Photo Source: Flickr

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