Tuesday, June 3, 2008

About Me

On Being Man, Dad & Husband in New York City…not necessarily in that order. When I first began Makes Me Wanna Holler, I wasn’t sure what I was writing about or who I was writing to and I didn’t know if anyone would read what I had to say. I’ve tried blogging before --- unsuccessfully. Surprisingly, a few entries in, Makes Me Wanna Holler veered off course from a place to showcase my fiction writing to a place where I could simply write.

I’ve been married less than a year and I'm father to a 2 year old daughter and a 12 year old son. In my wildest dreams as an ostracized, only child, nerd boy growing up, I never imagined I’d be right where I am. Eight years ago I met the woman who would become my wife. I was on my lunch break in midtown and visiting an author friend who was having a booksigning at Macy’s of all places. And there she was --- beautiful, electric, articulate and feisty. According to her, I caught her eye and she sized me up quickly as a summertime affair, also known as a jump-off in some circles. She also happened to overhear my writer friend say my last name while introducing me to one of her colleagues. (She was an event planner at Macy's at the time) It’s the same as hers. Her first words to me --- after butting into the conversation I was having --- were, “Hi, my name is…I go to Fordham University…and I have a five year old son.” I looked at her and said, “Thanks for the rundown. I’m Eric.” Surprised by my “arrogance” she let me know that she wanted me to know the basics before we started. Started what I wondered?

Seven years later, after a whirlwind romance that included almost every play on Broadway, nearly every restaurant in New York and lots of bad behavior, spectacular knock-down, drag out arguments, a year-long stint of unemployment after being laid off at work, an ugly six-month separation, an even uglier reconciliation, a blessed “surprise” that would soon be my daughter, more vacations than I can remember, the beginning of a true friendship, a proposal adventure that was the stuff of sitcoms, the birth of my daughter in fifteen minutes flat, my complete transformation from scared-to-be-dad to SuperDad at the first sight of my baby (followed by an hour of my crying like a blubbering idiot), the death of my hooptie, a seven-month stint of self-imposed unemployment after buying a brand new car, finding a new job and realizing I might be better off as an entrepreneur, and successfully flipping of my first property, I got married.

Just add water. The insta-family was born, Oct. 6th 2007, although it had been in place for years.

Now, as a newly married man I’m not arguing with my wife about where to eat or vacation. I’m trying to figure out how to slow the growth of my twelve year old who believes he’s grown and has no reason to think otherwise since he wears a size 11.5 shoe, is almost as tall as me and has the retail and entertainment industries marketing to him as it markets to me. Most days I want to knock him upside his head, as my father did me, daily.

There are no decisions to be made about when is the right time to build a family. Baby girl is here and in the fast lane. She is personable, beautiful, gentle, kind, compassionate, funny, quite strong, demanding, rude, mean, obnoxious and outrageous. This was before she hit her terrible twos.

I’m not going to blog about new innovations in the stroller market, although I might get excited over a new hi-tech stroller if I see one. The same goes for sitters, activities to do with kids and all that other stuff. There are too many sites, with too many good writers already doing all of that stuff. This is all about my take on being man, dad, husband and a few other things in New York City and its environs. Oh, and did I mention I was black, or African American or whatever it is these days?

Managing all of this, all at once, is a bit much any given day of the week. Most days I wear it all like an “S” on my chest. But some days it really begins to pile up and it just Makes Me Wanna Holler.

If anybody’s wondering, I just couldn’t bring myself to drop the “r” on “Holler” after butchering “Want To.” My mother taught for 37 years before retiring. She'd think it was a bit much.

Holla!

UPDATE: It's almost been two years of marriage and so far so good. I've cranked out a lot to read, some of it funny, some of it not so funny, some of it thoughtful and I occassionally stretch my brain and type out nonsense just for the sake of it. Whatever your pleasure, it's probably here. For married men and women, about to be married men and women, women who want to be married, or just someone looking for a little bit of inspiration to get through the day...welcome to the library...I hope you'll stay awhile.

Whatever you do while you're here, please, Holler Back!

10 Holler Backs:

Carter said...

dang Eric, you were "an ostracized, only child, nerd boy" in your wildest dreams? I can't imagine what your nightmares were like...!

seriously, great blog, you nailed my 2.5 year old daughter with that description to a T. my wife keeps saying "don't get upset, she's only 2.5" to which I respond, a kid that tells me "daddy, I think you want to give me some of that (fill in the blank)" is clearly capable of pulling some jedi mind-tricks and should be handled accordingly!

Yasmin said...

Hey Eric thanks for sharing a little more of yourself with us...it definitely helps me to know you better. Also, you are the feature today for the APOOO/Men in Black Spotlight which I'm going to post momentarily...when you get a moment please email me as I have some additional information I need from you. Thanks much!
xoxo

E. Payne said...

Yasmin, I need your email...
EP

jameil1922 said...

BEAUTIFUL wedding pictures. i'm enthralled by your wife's dress.

smile4every1 said...

ERIC!!!! I am so excited for you and your family...your success...God Bless you. Where have you been? I know you are wondering who the heck is this...well, just a hint; Hereford "HORRORFORD" as we would call it...OMG Eric you could not have been more right...E-mail me we have a heap of catching up to do.

E. Payne said...

Smile4Every1 - How can I email you without your email?

Lisa D. said...

I think you have a great blog here sir. I love reading about your life as a black father/husband. And I totally believe the part about you being a nerdy child! You have inspired me to blog(thanks for that). I wish you nothing but success with this blog and any other writing/life endeavors you take in. Congrats and keep in touch!-Lisa D.

Kela said...

Hi Eric,

Great blog! I'd like permission to republish your For better or worse: sex and marriage post on my weblog - www.blendedfamilysoapopera.com. BFSO is a blog about being blissfully married a second time around and of course sex and romance is a huge part of our lives, too.

Secondly, it's so refreshing to see a blog like yours; a man expressing his love for his wife and family. Additionally, I see that you have a 2 year old and a 12 year old, but you've only been married a short time. Could it be that you are experiencing that blended family life as well??

*Kela*
www.blendedfamilysoapopera.com

Anonymous said...

I stumbbled upon this site, and I think it is great! I want to HOLLER out. I am a Daddy,son,uncle but not a husband. I have six sons ranging in age from 21 to 15 years. I have been frictionally un-employed since July 2002. I have alot to holler about. I just believe that as a responsible father there are hard choices that we have to make. I have always chosen my children over everything else. I have lost the confidence as man because I have a feeling of failure when it come to my sons because of the choices i made. I believe in what's morally right.

ciara said...

lmao @ retail & entertainment marketing to your 12 yr old. sounds like my stepson. he'll be 15 in dec and he's attracted to expensive crap like fly on stink. this is a great 'about' page :)