Happy Friday - Happy Father's Day!

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Every Thursday/Friday depending on whether he’s in or not, one of my coworkers sends an email to our entire staff wishing everyone a prosperous and productive weekend. I used to think this was silly. I know now what his reasoning is behind this:

This morning was easy for me. I finally hit my stride with the wife out of town. My son went to school happy to know the Celtics are up 3-1 versus the Lakers, my daughter was full of giggles when I dropped her at the sitter’s. Her hair is a complete mess after giving her a bath last night which included washing her hair I combed it out, brushed it back and called myself tying it into a ponytail. When I woke up this morning she was fast asleep in her crib with a wild curly afro. I tried a few more times before leaving the house and got her looking decent enough to take her outside. Rosie, my sitter, said she’d help me out. She had a sheepish grin which I just knew was her being polite and not laughing at me in my face.

My commute into the Belly of the Beast was easy and I strolled to work listening to Maxwell with a bop in my step. I’m happy today, for inexplicable reasons and I don’t choose to question them. So I pass that on to you. If you’re grinding away at your desk, know that it will be over in a few hours until Monday. If you don’t have plans for the weekend make some. Some decent movies are out. Take one in with a friend, or go by yourself (it’s like being at home with a much bigger television). Get your sexy on, your groove on, or whatever you want to call it, but whatever you do enjoy yourself. Now that it’s warm and not a gabillion degrees like it was at the beginning of the week, find a nice restaurant with outdoor season and if it’s payday, splurge a bit on yourself. Life is too beautiful, despite all that might be on your plate, to not enjoy a little bit of it.

This weekend I intend to bask in fatherhood. I can’t believe that not even three years ago I had no concept of being dad other than playing dad to my wife’s son. I didn’t know that love could burn hot in the center of my chest, I never imagined I’d kiss fat cheeks and little toes hundreds of times a day, I didn’t imagine that I could spend a day just watching a little one make fun out of the little things around her, I didn’t think I’d be singing nursery rhymes (and being corrected by her) instead of listening to hip hop while driving, I didn’t think it was possible to be able to fall in love all over again everyday, everyday, I didn’t think I’d be feeding someone else for up to an hour, I definitely never dreamed I’d touch another person’s poop, I didn’t know I’d be drawing SpongeBob over and over and over again, I didn’t think that watching her cry at the doctor or when she got her ears pierced would make me misty and then angry, I couldn’t imagine what God had in store for me when I begged Him to make the prospect of having a child out of wedlock go away, I couldn’t imagine being capable, responsible, loving, or even selfless enough to raise a child from birth. But I didn’t know I would be the man God had already destined me to become.

I melt when my baby demands, “Daddeee!” I smile when my son works out to look like me and love when we talk superhero talk. I could’ve done things a thousand different ways and I should have based on the way I was raised. But I wouldn’t change a thing. Not one. Not even the bad stuff. I am the sum total of my choices and even when I was choosing bad I was choosing right so that I could type these very words.

I am Son. I am Cousin. I am Husband. I am Friend. I am Man. I am a Black Man. And I am Father. And I’m very proud of it.

Happy Father’s Day. Stay tuned for what actually happens for me on Father's Day.

Peace.