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Southland Made Me Cry

SPOILER ALERT: If you watch SOUTHLAND and DID NOT see this week's episode click below if you want to read more!

From the flashforward scene at the beginning of this week's episode I was absolutely sick. Based on the type of character Sammy is and based on what he's currently going through with his wife there's only one person that could cause him to break down into tears. I saw all the blood on his shoulder that had changed from red to maroon due to oxidation. Then I heard the blood-curdling scream. The scream that comes when a loved one is gone. A scream that only a woman can deliver. I heard that scream from my mother many times myself as a youngster when members of my family died --- either by natural or unnatural causes. It comes with the territory when you have a large family. Unfortunately.

I knew from the beginning of the episode that Detective Nate Moretta was dead. But I suffered through the hour to see how it happened. Everything about the episode was wrong. There was a very unpleasant telling detail that kept repeating itself. The camera caught Nate repeatedly looking over his shoulder. Then finally when he needed to watch his back he didn't. It was an minor oversight that cost him his life.

His murder was unexpected, sudden and brutal. Five minutes earlier no one could have ever predicted or anticipated it. And now everyone on the show and all of us watching at home are left behind to pick up the pieces and make sense of the insanity.

As I watched my heart banged against my ribs. I was practically out of breath and at the sound of the blood curdling scream at the end of the episode, now put into perspective. I shed a tear or two. He was a father and a husband, trying to do the right thing. He knew how to speak to people and seemed to have what was necessary to keep his emotionally unstable partner from becoming completely unglued. But he was a detective and sadly, violence doesn't pick and choose. It doesn't go after the bad cops and spare the good ones. Usually the opposite is the case. And what took years to build: a life --- was gone in an instant.

What If I Don't Make It Back Home?

There isn't a day when I don't leave my house that I don't wonder for at least one second, What if I don't make it back home? I usually say a quick prayer and keep it moving. But the more I stack my chips --- the more I grow as a Man, the more I learn as a Dad, the more I realize as a Husband --- the more I gain wisdom and knowledge of the world, the more cognizant I become of my mortality. Usually, it works the other way around. But not for me.

Fear of the unknown causes paralysis and none of us should allow this to occur. So I will continue to live my life despite the grays that are overtaking my goatee and the daily peril I notice now more than I probably did a decade ago. And I will continue to watch Southland to see what happens next. If you're not on to this excellent cop/detective drama, you need to be. I won't go so far as to say it's the next Wire. But it definitely has a similar hold on my attention.

If you have 'em, feel free to share your thoughts on this week's episode of Southland below.

E.Payne is the author of Investing In An Emotional Letdown. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

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