This is a Dad I've been itching to feature. Because he's a particularly busy man I had to be patient as I waited for him to have the time to be interviewed. His name is Lamar Tyler he is the co-creator of Black And Married With Kids and Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage. He and his wife, Ronnie, have been instrumental in utilizing the Internet and social media to promote the very obvious fact that there are good African American men out there who are wonderful fathers and husbands. The Facebook fan site for his recently released documentary, Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage, currently has 22,700 fans and is expanding at an exponential rate. If that isn't a testament to fact that better manhood, fatherhood and husbandry isn't (and always has been) alive and well in communities of color, I don't know what is.


Where do you live?
LT: DC Area

What's your occupation?
LT: IT Manager for a Broadcast Television Station

How many children do you have, how long have you been married?
LT: 4 Kids 4 Years

When did you start blogging and what inspires you to blog?
LT: December 2007. The desire to challenge stereotypes about marriage and parenting in the black community.

What does being a dad mean to you? How does being a man of color impact this?
LT: Being a dad means being the one the entire family leans on. Being the backbone of the family and setting the vision for my wife, my children and myself to share. Being a dad of color means I have to ensure that my children understand that anything is possible regardless of how they see their culture portrayed around them.

What has been one of your most memorable moments as a father? As a husband?
LT: Definitely the birth of my children on the larger scale and that was memorable from both the standpoints of a husband and a father. On a smaller more regular basis coming home to a loving family that bum rushes you at the door is memorable even though it happens every night.

What advice/recommendation would you give to someone about to become a father and/or husband?
LT: Be responsible, take the approach that if not you then who? You are the final stop gap for your family and that responsibility weighs on your shoulders. Also the relationship that you have with your wife and directly with your children will directly shape how your little boys or little girls relate to their spouses and children years from now.

If you could accomplish anything through your blogging, what would that be?
LT: Generating more awareness of the balance that exists within the black community instead of just the negative that's always portrayed. Also making it known that marriage is a possibility to those who live in communities where they may not see successful marriages on a daily basis. That is the total goal of Blackandmarriedwithkids.com and the Happily Ever After documentary.

Lamar Tyler


www.blackandmarriedwithkids.com


www.happilyeverafterthemovie.com


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Once again, I'd like to share another father like myself who floats around in cyberspace opining about fatherhood and everything else in between. He's also a serious superhero fanboy so as far as I'm concerned, he can do no wrong. Like Mocha Dad he's a Texan, and like any good dad out there, he's committed to his kids and a servant and protector of his wife. Ladies, don't get excited over the word servant. I was being Biblical.

Without further ado, presenting my next Father in Focus: Mister Man


Where do you live? What's your occupation?

I live in Houston, Texas. I am a financial analyst for a large engineering & construction firm. I am also pursuing a doctorate degree in business administration. My main occupation is being a good father to my kids, a good husband to my wife, and to lead my family according to the Bible (to the best of my ability).


How many children do you have, how long have you been married?

I have an 11 year-old daughter and a nine year-old son. I have been married to the love of my life for 12 years.


When did you start blogging and what inspires you to blog?

I started blogging in February, 2009. I have always had a passion for writing, but have been too busy with work and school to write for pleasure. I promised myself that I would begin to write for pleasure again once I completed grad school. I am inspired by many things, but I tend to write about topics that I am passionate about: fatherhood and family, faith, manhood, and politics.


What does being a dad mean to you? How does being a man of color impact this?

Being a dad means everything to me. I often tell friends that it is difficult for me to imagine my life before my children came along. I take the responsibility seriously as every good father does. In terms of being a man of color, it has no impact on the way I parent my children. My kids are being taught that they are just as good as anyone else, can achieve whatever they desire, and to learn to become servant leaders. In the few instances where my children have encountered racial issues, we discuss them candidly and reinforce that they are made by the Creator who sees no color.


What are the challenges, the perks of modern-day living with a family?

The biggest challenge that I see for families today is combating the negative messages that are consistently being relayed to our children. Our children are becoming more desensitized to sex and violence thanks to television, the Internet, and video games. Each family must take seriously the charge to love, protect, and serve their family and the larger community.

The greatest perk of modern living with a family is when I see my children practicing a value or lesson that we have instilled in them. Parents repeat things so often to their kids, so it is nice to see when something sticks.


What has been one of your most memorable moments as a father? As a husband?

The first time I heard the heartbeat (through an ultrasound) of my eldest child and the flood of pure love that washed over me at that moment. I realized then the precious gift my wife was carrying.


What advice/recommendation would you give to someone about to become a father and/or husband?

Don’t rely on what other people tell you about raising kids. General information is okay at times, but don’t let anyone tell you how to raise your children. What worked for your parents will not necessarily work for you. Your kids are unique and special and should be raised as such.
Love your children and don’t be afraid to show them affection. You won’t regret it and they will always remember it.

Lastly, whatever behaviors you model, expect your children to follow your lead. Be mindful of what you say and do if you don’t want it to be repeated.


If you could accomplish anything through your blogging, what would that be?

If I could accomplish anything through my blogging, I would want it to be life change. I hope that the words I write touch or impact people in such a way that will improve their lives.

Thanks, Mister Man!

Paul Easter, author of the blog, “Dear Mr. Man”, is married and a father of two. He enjoys outdoor grilling, enjoys fine cigars, and serving others through his faith.





Where You Can Find Mr. Paul Easter:

• Dear Mr. Man


• Dad-Blogs: Don’t Blame The Man


• Dear Mr. Man on Twitter