42!

No, not Jackie Robinson's number but my brand new age, today. I woke up with a smile on my face happy and blessed to begin a new day in a new year of my life. Rather than run around and celebrate me by telling everyone it's my birthday, I'm celebrating by giving everyone I know something. There was a time I couldn't give at all. A time that I promised myself if I ever was placed in a position of benevolence I would be benevolent. My family received gifts this morning and I strolled into work with a box of doughnuts and orange juice and champagne. That's how I'm living right now. The only thing I'm really asking for are hugs. I'm living to give and it is a great feeling.

Be well. Be blessed. And celebrate the life you have.

---

Sign up for email updates, news and notes of inspiration.

I'm not going to write something ridiculous that starts with "At dawn 41 years ago a great..." Instead I just want to announce to God and all of you how thankful I am to have notched 41 years on the chalkboard of life. Through the joy, the tears, the fog and the mystery of it all I am thankful that I have been able to serve my family and my community and hope to continue to do so as long as I have breath in my lungs. I do so not because I'm special but simply because it was done for me (my folks are in the top two pics above) and there's no reason to break the cycle. My heart is filled with thanksgiving. Specifically I'd like to thank my wife and kids for the great times and the not so easy times and everything in between.

Before this day is over, please do something nice for someone you love, know or don't know. That will help make my day complete.

Here's to life.

---

Thanks for reading! Follow me on Twitter at @EPayneTheDad.

Last year I wrote a Happy Birthday post to myself that was bubbling vitriol --- a cry against all that I wished hadn't happened on my birthday. In retrospect I would been better off 1) stating my concerns aloud instead of hashing them out online, and 2) not doing anything but what I wanted to do on my birthday so I wouldn't have been upset in the first place.

Yes, folks I have learned a lot in this past year, but instead of all the finger-pointing that human nature might have driven me to do in the past, I only have one person I can honestly say I've come to know much better than ever before.

That person is me.

Today I am 39 years old.

My father was 39 and established when he had me. I had two kids by the age of 35.

My father was very settled and secure in his career path and had a couple degrees under his belt. I have a couple degrees under my belt and from what I've been able to determine a spiritual gifting for writing (as I put close to know effort into what I pour out onto the page I cannot honestly take credit for most of what I blog. If anything I genuinely believe I'm a vessel.)

At 28, I wrote out a plan for myself and I love to write down my plans.

When I wrote the plan I could see it clear as a bell. I was established and comfortable standing at the bow of a boat. I was holding a child that was mine and a woman who loved me was close by enjoy the water. She was a little on the exotic side. I was 39 I was established and I was happy. Clearly all of what I envisioned hasn't and may not come to pass but I believe the vision was a metaphor for success, satisfaction, contentment and my knowing and having true love in my life.

And I believe I'm almost there.

When my father was 39 he had a full head of silver/gray wavy hair. I rock a shaved head with a shock of white hair running through my goatee.

When my father was 39 he had been married for several years. I'm coming up on my third year of marriage in 2 weeks.

Clearly I have an issue with comparing my life to my father's.

I'm working on it.

At 39 I am the proud father of a toddler and a teen.

I have the body of a man ten years younger than me. And feel no different than I did four years younger than that.

I do have a genuine understanding and foundation of what REAL love is even if I don't have a full grasp on applying or receiving it in my own life.

I love my children and my children KNOW I love them. Thus they walk and act with the confidence and boldness that comes from knowing they have encouragement, they have support and they have love.

I have the courage to get over myself and acknowledge that I need to practice as much as I preach. I'm taking the necessary steps to reroute that which is running off the rails in my life and not act as if "it's all good."

I love God more than I ever have before and move confidently knowing he's got me in the palm of his hand as long as I stay near to him...

That's a challenge and a half...

A friend wished me Happy Birthday on Facebook and referred to this past year of my life as a "Year of Reinvention." Though I am thankful for all the birthday wishes that are pouring in, these words ring out the loudest to me because of their dead-on accuracy.

I could go on. But today is my birthday. I've already spent half of it getting my car fixed. I don't want to spend the rest sitting in front of a computer.

Thanks for all the love!


There's a new book on Fatherhood coming to a store or e-reader near you! Add your name to list of people who want to see it happen. Please "Like" Bottom Line Fatherhood and count yourself as one who supports positive outlooks on the Dad Life.