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Going Nowhere Fast

How many times have you heard, "I'm just biding my time," or "When something better comes along, I'll..."?

Human beings are settlers in every sense of the word. We settle land, we settle down, and we settle for everything. Anyone who reads MMWH knows I make fun of the rut I'm in, but the truth is I am in a rut and I've been here for a while. A long string of harmless, but awful decisions have me living in a closet instead of a home and chained to a desk in Manhattan wasting away from 9 to 5. I'm not enjoying life the way I'd like to as a man who will be exiting his thirties in a few years.

But am I actually chained to my desk? Am I, are any of us, chained to anything?

Unless you're in jail we live in prisons of our own creation. Mine is the belief that I have to make sure everyone else in my life is taken care before I can take care of myself. This very common, harmless and selfless belief has been the bane of my existence for the past 4 years, if not longer.

There was a time when I cast care to the wind. There was a time when I had faith. There was a time when no matter what happened, I shrugged it off, because in the end I knew I would not fail.

It wasn't that I was young or stupid. I simply believed. And I was fierce in my belief.

Ripped straight from the Bible, or the Matrix (if you choose not to believe in God) you are defined by your beliefs. Mr. Obama believed he could be President, he concocted a plan, and no matter what happens on November 4th, the unthinkable has occured --- one of the most viable races ever for the highest office by an African American. He's almost on his way to do what I only thought I would see on shows like FOX's 24 (Dennis Haysbert as President of the U.S.). How many others though walk this path. Michael Jordan, Nobel scientists, your favorite musician, your pastor. Although very human they either busted out of their jails or never allowed shortsightedness to imprison them in the first place.

This past weekend I spent a lot of time searching my soul and I've decided I want more for myself. More than what I've been accepting in recent years. How many of us have drowned in awful relationships waiting for "something better" to come along. How many of us (in this situation) have admired that friend for kicking some jackass (male or female) to the curb and being single (and happy) until something better comes along. And because they get better, what happens? Someone better does come along.

Even in this economy, the same goes for jobs. Get yourself right and everything else will turn right. What does this mean? This is the solvable mystery each of us must unravel in the pursuit of happiness.

I'll be unraveling mine here in the coming days and weeks. If anyone reading this is standing still, I encourage you to get going with your life. Not because you could be gone tomorrow (although you can), but rather happiness, fulfillment and the joy these both bring is too important to not experience --- not even for even one day.


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