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My Goatee is Turning Gray

My wife is very concerned that the kitchen and bathroom stay clean...but that's about it.

My son, who is apparently blind in both eyes, is the type of child who will pick up a box of spaghetti, thinking it's aluminum foil, spill the entire box in the cabinet, on the floor and somehow on the dining room table and is perfectly okay with leaving most of it behind claiming, "I didn't see it!" and "It wasn't my fault!" I've explained to him as clearly and calmly as possible that if I back my truck into a tree, even if I didn't see the tree, it's not the tree's fault. He's a teenager, I understand, I've been there myself. But his level of clutzdom and follow-up excuse-making is venturing into the completely ridiculous.

My daughter, given her level of alertness or boredom will wreak havoc within a twelve foot radius of her surroundings. Cleaning up after her is like stepping in fresh doggy doo doo --- no matter how hard you try you just can't clean it all up.

I was off on Monday for the holiday and I did my best to clean up the place so when the wife came home she could relax after a long day's work. My wife took off on Wednesday and when I got home I felt I stepped into National Wholesale Liquidators or Caldor's twenty minutes before closing on a Saturday. And if I dared ask why the house was a mess I would've had hell to pay. I also noticed that roughly a hundred miles had been tacked onto the mileage on her day off.

I looked in the mirror this morning to see the usual 2 gray hairs in my goatee have been joined by six more.

I sighed.

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