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Wednesday

My Answer to the Porn Question

See today's earlier post.

Personally, I've never believed porn could benefit a relationship. I know couples who tried to "work it out" with porn and it went downhill even faster. I think like too many war movies and war video games it can desensitize you to intimacy. As far as being a skill clinic --- maybe so because you definitely see some skilled individuals in these films, damn their drug and alcohol abuse and suicidal tendencies. But if you're talking about love, or love (not sex) in need of repair, then there's very little porn can do for you because there is no love in porn. More times than not for men (remember, only women responded to my question) porn becomes a vice, a harmless pastime in our minds. I mean, hey, we're not hurting anyone, right? We're not even hurting ourselves. There's no drugs or alcohol involved, so nothing's wrong with it, right? We just spend all of our alone time with it. We just think about her (name one --- should I? Nope) when we should be thinking about you. I mean it's okay to fantasize about her body in place of yours. It's okay that she's Asian, blond, or 19 with gazongas that defy gravity, or a badunka you could play handball with. It's just thoughts, right? I'm not really cheating, right?

Right.

Porn can lead a man to believe that he can get it anywhere (if he can afford it) and get it better than he has it at home, especially if you're in a rut and not getting along with your significant other. And this might be true, but he may not be aware that he's the one with the problem, which will only cause more problems for him. As far as it solving relationship problems - it can be a salve, but seriously, who ever stayed together for sex? Yeah, people definitely keep coming back for more, but I'm talking about stayed. Most people say or think, "Man, the sex was good, but damn, I hated his/her ass!" The fundamental problem with stand alone sex is that 1) it stands alone and doesn't address any other issues you might be having with someone; and 2) man spends more of his time upright than horizontal and until men figure out how to spend the majority of their time horizontal it will never be intoxicating enough to "fix" any relationship. I only say this because almost everyone who responded to my question (besides talking about granny panties) used porn in the context of being a personal remedy and didn't speak of any societal ramifications --- objectification, devaluing of a woman's essence (making it the property of men or showing that women live to give it away), sexual violence, lust without love, and the fact that anyone doing all the ish they do in film in real life is going to end up with a baby or a disease. And then what? And don't even throw religion into the pot --- then you've got a whole 'nother pot of mess to deal with. As the guy on SNL says, "A...HOLE...'NOVAH...LEVAHL!"

I hope I didn't get too serious with this.

All in all it was a great to hear from more than my regular loyal readers out there and have them interact with one another through their comments. I think everyone left their computer screens with something to think about. I look forward to hearing from you all again, but I have a feeling, "What's your favorite color?" might not evoke the same level of response this question did.

By the way, I'm not trying to score any points with the wife with this. I did that earlier when she came home and dinner was ready and the kiddies were in line to see her.

It's late and I'm tired.

Peace out.

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