Here's a question for you to answer in the comments:

What's most important to you?

1. A healthy diet?
2. A healthy attitude?
3. A dedicated workout routine?
4. Some combination of all of the above.
   

Please think about it and leave your answer in the comments section beneath this post.

Thanks!

E.Payne is the author of Investing In An Emotional Letdown and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

As I delve deeper into the rabbit hole that is social media, I am always on the lookout for ways to make your experience here the best it can possibly be.

I need you to lend a hand in this effort by filling out a new survey of mine. Please click here to fill it out. It should take all of 30 - 45 seconds to complete.

Thanks!

Have You Subscribed Yet? * Are You On Facebook? * Do You Tweet?

Given the week I had last week and the Monday I had this week concerning my son and basketball I found the following Deloitte 2009 Education Survey findings, released on November 30th of this year, to be quite interesting, but not exactly surprising.

• Only 9% of high school teachers think that preparing students for college is their primary mission.
• Only 10% of high school teachers think that ensuring students graduate is their primary mission.
• But nearly half of all parents and students believe that college preparation is their high school’s primary mission.

NEW YORK, Nov. 30 /PRNewswire/ -- As the competitiveness of the U.S. economy depends on increasing the college-educated workforce, the Deloitte 2009 Education Survey shows a major disconnect between what students and parents want from high school and what educators believe is their charge.

When asked about the primary mission of high school, low-income parents and students rank preparing students for college the highest, with 42 percent of parents and 48 percent of high school students agreeing with the statement. Yet only nine percent of educators think preparing students for college is their most important mission. Further, only 12 percent of teachers feel that they are most responsible for building a college-going culture. The Deloitte 2009 Education Survey was conducted among high school teachers and low-income parents and students.

"What the parents and students surveyed want from high school is at odds with what we've been asking our high schools to do for close to 100 years," said Barry Salzberg, CEO, Deloitte LLP and newly appointed Chairman of College Summit. "Redefining the mission of high school is an important next step for building a 21st Century workforce."

Really?

According to the findings of the survey, close to three quarters (70 percent) of students say they "definitely" will attend college, however, only about a quarter (27 percent) feel very prepared to handle college courses and less than a quarter (22 percent) rate the job their high school has done in preparing them to attend college as excellent. Moreover, half of the students responding to the survey say that they are not "very confident" they have the necessary knowledge about how to best prepare for college (i.e., how to engage in volunteer and extracurricular activities, or understanding the performance requirements for college entry).

In order for students to experience high school as a launch pad for college and career success, educators will require training. While teachers personally feel it is important for students to attend college, only 59 percent are very confident that they have the knowledge about what students need to be prepared for college.

"Based on these stats, a significant portion of those students surveyed with aspirations to finish college are not likely to reach their goal because they are not adequately prepared for college," continued Salzberg. "We need to create a strong college-going culture which ensures high school is viewed not as the end game, but as preparation for post-secondary education and career success."

More and more with each passing day I am inspired to become a teacher despite my inbred hatred for the position thanks to my two-parent, two-educator household (school was school and home was school too). After reading studies like these and seeing similar outcomes beginning to manifest in the lives of my son, his peers and eventually my daughter are quickly turning this inspiration to teach (or somehow be involved in the educational process) into a compulsion/obligation.

For starters, at the very least folks, get your kids involved in some level of volunteerism this holiday season. This tops the list of things to do with and for my son. As it states in the study this is a prerequisite for college admission in many instances. Just like building college savings,this is something that can be done now and will make the road that much easier for you and your kid(s).

For the full results please click here: Deloitte 2009 Education Survey.

My friends, fellow parents, followers, readers, husbands, wives, academics, educators and administrators...what are your thoughts and feelings on these findings?


Subscribe to Makes Me Wanna Holler Follow Me On Twitter

My first post of the week that doesn't have a pic or a video. Let's see how it goes...

You get what you give.

It's really that simple.

Energy comes from within and manifests in the real world. What does an inventor do? He or she creates a tangible, digestible product in the real world based on a idea birthed (energized) from inside them. And most inventors who aren't quacks (and even the ones who are) live productive lives --- getting what they give.

But what about the rest of us? Almost everyone with a job although currently thankful to be working in this economy hates it because of all that it does to make their lives miserable (myself included). Newsflash: a job is inanimate no matter how many [insert plural expletive here] you work with, work for or have working for you. Or how about the woman who chooses to be a dormat for bad men and then proclaims all men are dogs? Then there's the man who is an overweight, walking-heart-attack waiting-to-happen. He berates his wife for putting on a few extra pounds and is shocked when he finds out she's been cheating on him just as much as he's been cheating on her. Many parents wants their children to be "more productive," but opts to use their berating the child or blaming a teacher, rather than a) talking and working with their child themselves, and b) creating options/solutions for growth and opportunity, such as paying for a tutor. A final example: I've always enjoyed listening to coworkers and strangers alike discussing their frustration with weight loss while chewing on a slice of pizza or a greasy cheeseburger with a side salad made of 3 pieces of lettuce and 1 tomato, and washing it all down with a diet Pepsi.

ManyMost of us want the world, but are only willing to give the change along with the lint in our pockets to acquire it. Then we slam life as not being fair when we don't get our way. We've become a nation of people who don't save for the things we want --- who don't actually pay for anything anymore. Instead we hope some financial institution will give us credit (and unless you're under a rock, you know where that's gotten us as a nation). We laud athletes for the skill and strength they have, but why? Skill aside, these people work out and practice their sport for a living. It only makes sense that they excel. Even the grotesque exceptions: the Jordans (Michael) of the world. They defy description and the things they've done seem inhuman to us mere mortals. But would we feel this way if we spent nearly every waking moment of our lives dedicating ourselves to that "thing" we are good at and/or must do?

This isn't foolproof of course because we live in this little construct called life. And sometimes, life really just ain't fair --- no matter how hard you work, no matter how much you pray. (I always put my cart away when I go grocery/Target shopping and I can't tell you how many times I've walked out to my truck to find a cart pushed up against it.) And often it does take two or more to make things work. But it only takes you to know in your heart you're giving your all. Outside of this and unforeseeable incidents (both good and bad) more times that not, we are ultimately at the center of what does and doesn't happen in our individual lives due to our thoughts and our deeds --- for better or worse.

• Are you getting what you give (directly or indirectly) in/at/to your: relationship (physical/spiritual), job, family, spouse, finances, health, dreams, etc.?
• If not, do you believe you could or should be giving more to achieve the results you want?
• Or, are you getting EXACTLY what you're giving (a whole lot, or a whole lot of nothing)?

- Never Miss A Post -

Click Here To Get MMWH via Email

They say a picture's worth a thousand words...

During a rough patch just before our marriage my then-fiance had a brief breakdown and put her head on my shoulder as I assured her all would be fine. I'm not sure why, but one of our closest friends whipped out her cellphone and snapped this grainy pic of this moment of embrace. It's a telling photo of who we are when we're not at each others throats.

• In times of need are you there for someone (mother, brother, lover, spouse, sister, father, friend, etc.)?
• And/or, is someone there for you?

See today's earlier post.

Personally, I've never believed porn could benefit a relationship. I know couples who tried to "work it out" with porn and it went downhill even faster. I think like too many war movies and war video games it can desensitize you to intimacy. As far as being a skill clinic --- maybe so because you definitely see some skilled individuals in these films, damn their drug and alcohol abuse and suicidal tendencies. But if you're talking about love, or love (not sex) in need of repair, then there's very little porn can do for you because there is no love in porn. More times than not for men (remember, only women responded to my question) porn becomes a vice, a harmless pastime in our minds. I mean, hey, we're not hurting anyone, right? We're not even hurting ourselves. There's no drugs or alcohol involved, so nothing's wrong with it, right? We just spend all of our alone time with it. We just think about her (name one --- should I? Nope) when we should be thinking about you. I mean it's okay to fantasize about her body in place of yours. It's okay that she's Asian, blond, or 19 with gazongas that defy gravity, or a badunka you could play handball with. It's just thoughts, right? I'm not really cheating, right?

Right.

Porn can lead a man to believe that he can get it anywhere (if he can afford it) and get it better than he has it at home, especially if you're in a rut and not getting along with your significant other. And this might be true, but he may not be aware that he's the one with the problem, which will only cause more problems for him. As far as it solving relationship problems - it can be a salve, but seriously, who ever stayed together for sex? Yeah, people definitely keep coming back for more, but I'm talking about stayed. Most people say or think, "Man, the sex was good, but damn, I hated his/her ass!" The fundamental problem with stand alone sex is that 1) it stands alone and doesn't address any other issues you might be having with someone; and 2) man spends more of his time upright than horizontal and until men figure out how to spend the majority of their time horizontal it will never be intoxicating enough to "fix" any relationship. I only say this because almost everyone who responded to my question (besides talking about granny panties) used porn in the context of being a personal remedy and didn't speak of any societal ramifications --- objectification, devaluing of a woman's essence (making it the property of men or showing that women live to give it away), sexual violence, lust without love, and the fact that anyone doing all the ish they do in film in real life is going to end up with a baby or a disease. And then what? And don't even throw religion into the pot --- then you've got a whole 'nother pot of mess to deal with. As the guy on SNL says, "A...HOLE...'NOVAH...LEVAHL!"

I hope I didn't get too serious with this.

All in all it was a great to hear from more than my regular loyal readers out there and have them interact with one another through their comments. I think everyone left their computer screens with something to think about. I look forward to hearing from you all again, but I have a feeling, "What's your favorite color?" might not evoke the same level of response this question did.

By the way, I'm not trying to score any points with the wife with this. I did that earlier when she came home and dinner was ready and the kiddies were in line to see her.

It's late and I'm tired.

Peace out.

To mix things up a little, I've decided to start posting a Question of the Week on Wednesdays (I like how the Ws run together) to get a chance to hear your perspective on things. Also if you'd like to suggest some Questions of the Week going forward, I'm open to (most) suggestions.

Today's Question of the Week is:

We live in an age where a lot of music, movies and literature celebrate lifestyles that involve intimacy with strippers and casually refer to women outside of their names (such as b's and hos) --- good only for what they have to "offer."

• Do you believe porn (internet, magazine, whatever) has affected your love (or lack thereof) life, love in general or your outlook on things, directly or indirectly, for better or worse?
  
• Does porn play any role at all?
• Should it?

Don't look at this like it's an obvious question with obvious answers, because it isn't once you think about it for a minute. On mainstream fatherhood and parenting websites, this subject came up a lot (not the strippers part - the porn part) last year and great discussions followed.

So, please, don't be shy. Be honest (as possible).

Now that I'm back a bit from my break from blogging, I'm doing a little housekeeping today to keep things fresh and sharp. I would like to hear from those of you frequent the blog to find out:

• Why you visit the site?
• Are you a man or a woman?
• Are you a parent?
• Are you married?

Thanks, and enjoy the day.

Peace.

Don't forget about the poll to the right. The few responses that are in so far are pretty bleak. There's got to be some people out there who feel marriage has improved their love life. Remember it's completely anonymous. There are only a few days left...

Yesterday's post seems like it's turning into a dud. Not because people didn't read it. Quite a few people read, but no one responded.

I put up a poll, to the right that asks the same thing (anonymously, this time).

Enjoy.

The Dark Knight has done the unimaginable by bringing in $158 mil over the weekend. If I could have just 1% of that my days as a working stiff would end immediately. I was completely satisfied by the movie and now have shifted my more ridiculous daydreams from Iron Man back to Batman.

By Monday, in the midst of all the hoopla, there were allegations that Christian Bale (Bruce Wayne) beat up (assaulted) his mom and sis. It looks like everything has been dropped, but it’s staying in the news despite the fact that there’s no real details and Bale nor his family are talking about it.

Seems like they need Jesus. I sure do. The stuff of my life has become so hectic as of late, I haven’t had the opportunity to write here, but I do want to point out the poll in the right hand column is set to close in 3 days. Don’t forget to vote. And sooner rather than later the posts will return.

Peace.

How important is church for you? Was it important as you were growing up and now, not so much? Whatever your experiences of feelings on the subject, please share your thoughts and insights.

And be sure to check out the latest poll that's up in the right-hand column.

Check out the latest poll in the right-hand column of the page (hopefully I'll get this right this time). How young is too young for your kid, or kids in general, to see an R-rated flick?

Vote and comment. Enjoy. After the poll closes I'll have a related post.

Peace.

A recent Newsweek article speaks directly to me and what this blog has become for me: therapy. All of us manage our daily crises differently and I do believe we all experience aberrations in our personalities and characters from time to time based on societal influences, personal issues, etc. Unfortunately, we've come to loosely term those who are unable to manage these experiences as crazy. It's a word I often use comically referring to others and sometimes my life, and quietly I view myself as occasionally nuts. Before the blog, I was bottling up a lot. Now, I've become pretty efficient at letting things roll off my back...most things.

Now that Makes Me Wanna Holler has been up for a few months, I'm getting a steady flow of comments on the stuff I muse over. Yesterday, I wrote a general post (and associated poll) regarding a subject that's close to me at the moment. As therapy. As most bloggers know you can control what you want the world to see. Surprisingly, but I guess, not so surprisingly you began to comment. My gut reaction was to leave the post as one that couldn't be commented on, but blogging is about open discourse and in the essence of the forum I didn't want to shut that down. There was a difference of opinion that began to develop and there's nothing wrong with that. Variety, as they say, is the spice of life.

The Newsweek article concludes with the suggestion that it's okay to share as long as you don't share too much and it has been become clear to me that I shared too much on yesterday's question/poll. People sometimes do things without thinking of the repercussions or the feelings that might get hurt. Yesterday and today I am guilty of this error in judgment. With that said, I've taken down the post and in front of all, I apologize to my wife --- the mother of my children --- my best friend --- and unfortunately as of late, my foe. I am sorry for hurting you (should you happen to visit again anytime soon).

For those of you who voted and commented. Thank you, please continue to visit, vote and comment. Keep your eyes peeled for something on the light side. And until I come up with another question, stay tuned. A printer whom I do business at work told me this morning, "The good Lord'll take care of ya, so don't worry about anything and enjoy life." He's an older man with perspective.

I'll take that perspective with a side of fries on the side.

Peace.

After attending The Mocha Man Event this past Saturday, I was inspired to ask some questions of you, the reader. You’ll see the latest Question of the Week in the right hand column of the page. It’s all anonymous so please, be honest.

There's a poll in the right hand column of this page about Father's Day. Please take 10 seconds to vote. I'm going to use the results in my next post, due out either Tuesday or Wednesday of next week.

Until then...peace.