Facebook Makes The Night Go Quickly

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I couldn't resist blogging about a comment I left at my blogger buddy, Brooke's, spot last week. Her point was that Facebook and all of its distractions is making her fat. She ain't the only one. Not only does it make you fat, it just keeps you from functioning normally. Forget about work, with national morale in the toilet, I say the more distractions the better. But I'm talking about the homestead, when you're supposed to be enjoying your self and time with whatever (whomever) it is. Instead, you're are a slave to that demonic blue and white template littered with everyone's pictures from grade school.

On nights when it's really bad, life at my home happens a little like this:

1. Like Brooke, I come home, power up the laptop, do what I need to do with myself and the family, all the while checking my blog, my Facebook page (to promote my blog), Twitter and all da rest a'dem and dey mama.

2. My wife then accuses me of cheating on her with my laptop and we eat dinner. I pull myself away and use every ounce of my strength not to log back on as soon as I'm done eating (instead, I sneak off on my iPod Touch and log back on).

3. I begin to fade while watching TV and my wife screams at me to stay awake. We put the kids to bed.

4. After the kids are asleep, my wife tells me she's got to check on ONE thing on our desktop (either a work email or some website she's researching) before going to bed.

5. About an hour after number 4, I wake up on the couch to the sound of my wife laughing to herself. I go over to the computer to see her on Facebook with no less than 4 IM windows open. One is a coworker she saw a few hours earlier. Another is a former next door neighbor of hers. The next is a former college roommate she was barely cool with at the time. And finally the last is some former high school classmate who now lives in the deep, deep South.

6. Then she says, "I really need to go to bed." I have a meeting first thing in the morning.

7. Then she stays up a little longer.

8. The next morning she wakes up ten minutes before she's supposed to catch her train.

But I'm the one with the problem.

Since this posting things, have gotten a little better. But at the end of the day, Facebook is crack.