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Today's Man

   Limerick poem

Today's man isn't much different than biblical man when it comes to affairs of the heart and extramarital affairs. The difference today is that technology has all but obliterated his ability to live a double life. This isn't to paint all men with one broad stroke, but just to say for example the actions of Steve McNair weren't very out of place with every other man we've known about through history who has cheated. I think that in the aftermath of a string of celebrity deaths all swallowed up and overshadowed by the hole that Michael Jackson left when he passed, to learn about McNair's circumstances --- love affair with a young'n/married father of four/murder-suicide/taking trips with the woman on the side without a care in the world --- made the court of public opinion, particularly the women judges, view him as an exception and not the norm for his type. But in truth he's no different than any other married man who has been unfaithful. Even the murder-suicide part is nothing new, although I believe the tragedy of such a thing never gets old, especially when kids are involved and must suffer for the sins of the father.

A couple days ago, I received an email from a reader expressing her concerns about this whole can't-find-a-good-man syndrome:

I am 25 single and really losing a lot of faith in the men out there... I grew up in Toronto with my mom and my dad lives in Shanghai. I never really understood what it is like to have a father as a role model around on a day to day basis. It's a huge void in my life that I did not realize until later now in my adult life. I think that the biggest effect it had on me is that I don't understand boundaries and [and setting them]. This has led me into relationships [with] older guys of course (not more than 10 years older!) [and] now married guys. Yikes. I don't want to be the loop hole anymore in someone's unfulfilled marriage. I don't understand why I cannot find any decent guys who are not married. Married men who holler at single girls are actually disappointing 2 women simultaneously.

This time around I want to do things a little different (especially since I'll be off the grid most of the day)... I want your two cents... Ladies? Fellas? What's up? Where are all the good men? What drives a married man to look outside his relationship? Are these married guys 100% to blame for looking outside, or is the woman who entertains him just as much to blame?

I will also post this as a discussion on this blog's Facebook Page.

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