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To Be Loved Or To Be Lusted?

Thanksgiving in my native Chicago was a time for reconnecting with Family. And like many family gatherings there were plenty of non-relatives who were along for the festivities. A "play cousin" of the family (that I can't say I honestly know) stopped by and managed to catch my eye as she took off her coat. I may have even gasped the way one might if they saw an angel. Thankfully for me, my wife wasn't there to witness my mouth fall open agog. Instead sitting beside me was one of my closest cousins who I consider a little sister. She caught me in the act and had plenty to say.

"She has a nice body, huh?" she asked me with her arms folded. Her voice, dripping with condescension.

I looked at her, nodded and made no attempt to deny the obvious. She shook her head.

"See, you men... (always a great way to begin a discussion) "...girls like that always get guys at the club."

First of all, the only girl in the room was my new third cousin who happily drooled as she bounced around on her grandmother's lap. I looked at my thirty-three year old, burgeoning entrepreneur, Master's degree in Engineering cousin and asked her if she seriously wanted a man from the club. Her eyes widened, having realized what she said. She quickly threw the ball back in my court by telling me men go after women like her (the play-cousin I won't claim) before they consider a woman such as herself.

"I'm not exactly sure what you're trying to say," I responded. "But you're beautiful so don't even go there. There's a difference between lust and love and you're talking about being lusted after. That's what you want?"

My cousin, in true little sister fashion, told me to shut-up and stop being over-intellectual.

I definitely understand the pressures of those trying to get into the dating game. But with nearly twenty years of dating escapades and three years of marriage under my belt, I'll pass on being lusted after and take love any and every day of the week. Lust burns hot, bright, fast and out. Love endures.

How about you? Love or lust? Or a little of both?

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