Last week, my daughter asked me why mostly boys wore Nike. So we spent this past Sunday afternoon watching the Nike Women and Under Armor YouTube Channels. The ensuing conversation developed into one that included following your dreams, sports, ethnicity, exercise and fitness and having an honest conversation around feminine physicality.

Now, she knows the names of multiple female athletes, across a range of sports and is much more empowered to believe she can do what she wants to through dedication, hard work and opportunity.




Meet Ross and watch his testimony on what it means to be a father.

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Let's face facts, love is a mystery. Especially in today's times. It is as elusive as the cat burglar that cleans out a jewelry store without anyone noticing (dating myself here as I think about the Pink Panther movies of yesteryear).

But here's the thing, love is elusive because we allow it to be. We are distracted by EVERYTHING, including the actions of the one we claim to love. Oftentimes we allow our spouse's/lover's isms and bad days to dictate who we are and how we opt to act toward them.

But being with someone, loving them is a choice, something that other person, by virtue of the definition of love (a different post for a different time), shouldn't be able to control. So for example, most parents choose to love their children no matter what they do because they love that person so much their actions can't prevent them from loving them. And a parent hopes that through love, a child will grow, excel, flourish. The notion that the "ownership" of a child that comes with parenthood is the driver for this kind of love (unconditional) may be true, but the fact remains, most parents no matter how burned up they are by their child's actions, choose to love them anyway. That choice is so natural, so automatic most don't even realize they are in fact choosing and not "feeling" love. Here are 4 simple steps you can take to inject a healthy dose of lovingness into your marriage:

First Note: Short of death there is nothing that will keep me from being in my daughter's life. The sun rises and sets with my daughter. As much as is humanly and appropriately possible, I want to be present for all of it...

Inspire The Dad In Your Life To Be His Best All Year Long

In this all-new episode, Oprah Winfrey and Iyanla Vanzant address an audience and online community of daddyless daughters who reveal their personal stories of how not having a father present in their life affected who they are today. With symptoms of low confidence, overcompensating in other relationships, and seeking love in all the wrong places, daughters who want to heal seek guidance from Oprah and Iyanla in order to prepare to move forward with their life with a positive, new outlook.

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Thoughts? Please, let me know in the Facebook or Disqus comment sections below.

Sometimes a bad or off-kilter attitude from a loved one or a spouse deserves a moment or two of understanding and/or compassion rather than a dismissal because you can't be bothered. Didn't you sign up to be bothered? But in order to effectively do this you have to be strong enough in heart to soothe rather than react in kind to their dilemma. You also have to be selfless enough to recognize it's not about you --- not always. Next time it happens, because there will always be a next time, don't be so quick to dismiss. Sometimes loving a person means doing so when they aren't being very loving themselves.

Use your power to heal.

Join this conversation on Facebook.

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Thoughts? Please, let me know in the Facebook or Disqus comment sections below.

I state the following only because at times I have been guilty of it myself: There is a game of love, but love is not a game. Marriage is not for the faint of heart nor for children. You are in this together for the sake of each other to make two better together than apart. To enjoy life and make it rich in ways money can't provide. It isn't a competition. It isn't about being right and your significant other being wrong. It isn't about you speaking or thinking so highly of yourself that you come to believe you have arrived at your current destination and are doing everything you are doing, by yourself, purely out of your own miraculous, solitary strength and tenacity. When you know good and well on the days you don't even want to get out of bed, he or she is there making things work as best they can while you get it together.

So, if you are somewhere outside of your home constantly complaining about your spouse to people who play no role in your life other than to sit a few desks over from you. And if you are doing nothing to fix your "problems" other than complain to these same people who agree with you because they have no other choice but to since they are only hearing your side of the story --- understand that as a married person you sound and look stupid, you are an embarrassment to your spouse and to what marriage should and ought to be and you are a walking, talking advertisement for single people to remain single.

This has been a public service announcement: Marriage is not child's play. Stop playing games. 

Chime in on this article on Facebook if you prefer at: http://epayne.me/XNZBkv

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File this under: AHA MOMENT OF THE DECADE

A couple of days ago a woman was complaining to me about her husband when she suddenly interrupted herself and said, "You know I should probably be more intimate with him...We'd probably get along better and it probably would help me from being stressed out. But it's hard."

"There's a reason intimacy is supposed to exist between married folks," I said. "It ain't about some dude, your husband, getting his jollies. It's about solidifying your union and creating a bond (a soul-tie) that only the two of you share. There's a beautiful thing that two people have when they are intimate, especially if they are married."

"But you may want to consider trying and seeing what happens," I advised her. "Who knows, you may actually like it?"

To which she responded, "You're probably right."

More and more I'm hearing from married women who have sworn off sex as if it were something bad, like too much cake and ice cream. I hear them blaming everything plus their husbands as to why they are the way they are. On the other side I'm hearing from an equal number of bewildered and exasperated married men who are running around like desperate men inside their own marriages, desperate for love from their wives. I repeat, desperate for love from their wives --- having no desire to go anywhere but home to their marriage beds. Part of the vows (depending on the ceremony or depending on whether you were listening) is that you give yourselves to one another in marriage. There are things that make marriages work, over the years and through the rough patches. Often getting through the rough patches together create the environment for the good stretches. Sexual intimacy is one of the first things to go when things get tough, even though after communication and genuine TLC it is probably one of the most important tools required for marriage maintenance. Sitting up in a house as roommates sharing kids is no different than roommates or housemates or business partners sitting under the same roof with shared investments. Shared investments do not foster, nurture or nourish love. In fact, shared investments alone usually are the source of most conflicts between people, married or not.

This marriage stuff isn't hard. It just takes work. And it isn't child's play. So if you're playing games, male or female, please stop. What you invest into, grows (for better or worse). What you ignore and neglect, withers and dies.

Join the ongoing conversation on this very topic over on Facebook at: http://www.facebook.com/MakesMeWannaHoller/posts/10151554700775330

There is no box, just as there is no finish line. There are no limitations, short of those laid out by the laws of physics and even then there are workarounds.

My mantra since college has been "I cannot submit, I will not submit, I refuse!"

I have a little girl who enjoys being "girly", playing dress up and princess and plenty things having to do with the color pink. But she is also a dancer, a singer, an actress, an artist, a gardener, a budding scientist, a straight A student, a writer and a mathematician. She also wrestles and can land a pretty solid punch.

And this is the stuff she does for fun.

I don't play the man versus woman game though many around me feel compelled to do so with me. I liken it to being forced to play chess when you don't have any knowledge of where the pieces are supposed to go. My thinking hasn't even allowed me to create a hierarchy where I could consider debating women as being less than men. I look at both genders as people. My heart breaks when I see women disrespected just because, my ears burn when I hear songs that disrespect women just because. I send up prayers when I see women, thinking they are playing a "man's game" and only playing into a system of manipulation that has no business existing. I was born of a woman. I am married to a woman and I am raising someone who will one day be a woman.

As a father I am in the empowerment business. This means shutting down all thoughts that would trick someone into believing they are less than because of who they are. Arming my little one with the ability to speak boldly to anyone who tries to box her in and providing as much opportunity as humanly and financially possible to learn and grow and develop into a powerful Child of God so that should anyone should try to box her in she'll simply laugh and keep moving. I'm sure she will be hurt on her journey of life. It's a father's hope that the pain won't run too deep or too long to derail her in any way. For me International Women's Day isn't about feminism or the feminist movement, as I'm sure it is for many feminists and the finger-pointers who wish to debate everything just for the sake of being contrary. Rather, it's seeing everyone as I have been taught God does --- beautifully and divinely unique but ultimately equal. And treating them accordingly.

Learn more about International Women's Day.

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When my wife is out I worry, not about what she is doing or who she is with, but whether or not she is safe. But rarely have I properly expressed this concern. Meaning I usually am a complete grouch by the time she gets in. She picks up on my bad attitude immediately and things have traditionally devolved from there. That is, if she even makes it home without me blowing up her phone to demand where she is. The latter action usually only happens if it really begins to get late. Regardless of the reason, neither of us have gone to bed happy.

But I'm a different person now (long story on this another time).

Recently my wife was out at a networking dinner with her associates and I did everything that I always do: cleaned the house and put the kids to bed (well I made the big one go to bed). But I added a couple steps:

This is not a sponsored post, but as the father of a little girl who is bubbling with confidence I am always on the lookout for ways to nurture that and never let it subside. When Fortune Girls, Inc. approached me I couldn't resist but helping them to share their story. Please continue reading...

How Two Women and a Girl became Fortune Girls

What do you get when you take a girl who has a special gift of drawing, combined with a Mom who discovers her daughter's gift and infuses her professional gift of designing in it, and two Moms who are determined to make a difference in the lives of girls? You get Fortune Girls!

Sex.

I know this is what you thought as soon as you saw the title. But this isn't what this is about. Nor is belaboring the obvious. Men need sex just as women do. It's truly sad when it's missing, especially between married couples. Arguably, they are the ones who need it the most. But that's not the point today.

But before sex there is affection, consideration, intimacy, sincerity, hand-holding, saying, "I love you," from time to time and meaning it rather than choking on the words as if you were gargling sand. And that goes for both men and women. Especially men, who do a much better job of bottling up their emotions and needs and suffer terribly and often needlessly internally.

The key to understanding all of the above is spelled out almost word for word in the bible and honestly most other ancient texts that seek to achieve balance and harmony with man, his (or her) peers and the surrounding society. But nowadays everyone is too tech savvy for this, too on point, too keeping it real, too chasing after the golden egg, too rough too tough, two tight Afro puffs and too miserable. So their fellow human who might appreciate a kind word or gesture gets bulldozed and bludgeoned by the verbal stones that most of us happily hurl on a daily basis. 'Cause we "keep it real."

The needs I am referencing are much simpler than anything I am referencing above. I'm talking about the basics that every man should have once he becomes a man, unless he opts not to.

• My wife wakes me up in the middle of the night to tell me I'm breathing heavy (not snoring). But she doesn't ask if I'm okay.

• We have a standing "last one up" rule. The last one up shuts everything down. My wife will sometimes come upstairs after watching television and wake me up to tell me to turn the light off on my side of the bed...because it's on my side.

• My wife gets up to use the restroom in the middle of the night jumps back into bed and throws herself across three quarters of it and wakes me up to tell me I'm hogging up most of the bed. I often wake up to find myself staring at the floor from the sliver of mattress I'm sleeping on. And what she believes is me is typically a pillow or the comforter.

But I'm the bad guy...

The battle of the sexes rages on, even in marriage. Maybe that's because people call it a battle? Too many times spouses get caught up in pointless and perpetual battles for superiority inside the home and out. It's not about working together, instead it's about how wrong the other person is or how right you think you are. Many times the journey together is overlooked for the sake of pointing out all the mistakes along the way. No team would ever function, let alone win a single game, if it operated the way many marriages do. A marriage is supposed to be a team of two...one of the strongest couplings man has at his disposal.

But in 2011 this is hardly the case. Especially when emotions are involved...

One of the challenges that has come with moving from a single level apartment to a home with three floors is contending with the bumps and creaks in the night. Like anything else standing, a house is a structure that carries the burden of the weight of itself. It's prone to a few moans and groans, cracks and pops. Aside from that, most of the knocks that go bump in the night are the ice maker in the refrigerator, a broom falling or my son dropping his cell phone on the floor because he's finally released his death grip on it in his sleep.

I know this and by now the wife should too, but without fail, at least once every two weeks the following occurs:

Wife(shaking me awake): "Did you hear that?"

Me: "Who are you?"

Wife (In her quietest screaming whisper): "Eric! Get up! I heard something."

Me: "Where am I?"

Wife(now elbowing me in my ribs): "Eric!"

Me: "The alarm is on, so we're fine."

Wife: "You're the man of the house! You have to go check."

At this point I am awake and my eyes are rolling around in my head. She always gets me with that "Man of the House" crap. I'm the Man of the House when it comes to going downstairs defenseless to get my head chopped off by Chuckie, but on most other Man of the House issues that arise under our roof my wife is beating her chest and burning her bra at every turn.

So as always I convince my body to move from beneath the sheets. I tiptoe down the stairs and walk around to find...nothing. But what would happen if I actually did find something? What if, God forbid, a monster attacked or a shot rang out, then what? Will my family all huddle in a closet and wait to meet their maker? Will they hide in the attic? Because it's not like the wife is right behind me with a meat cleaver backing me up, or down the hall on alert in front of the kids' rooms. She just lays there in the dark waiting to see if I return to bed. What makes more sense is for all of us to huddle by the alarm control panel in our room, behind the locked door and hit the panic button connected to the police station. But that's just me.

As always, I crawl back under the sheets and she asks what made the sound. Most times I tell her it's the icemaker when I know that it is. And other times when I don't know what knock or bump she heard in the night I still tell her it's the icemaker.

I don't plan on ever owning a gun, but maybe I should pick up a nice, solid Louisville Slugger to keep in my closet. That way I won't feel like I'm being ripped from sleep to be a human sacrifice because I'm the Man of The House.


E.Payne is the author of Investing In An Emotional Letdown and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

Over at Black And Married With Kids.com I authored the post 10 Things Wrong With You - In Your Marriage. In it I translate the leadership strategies of author Marshall Goldsmith to the marriage relationship and raise the notion that being good at what you do doesn't preclude being good at who you are...

In December of 2010 I wrote the post Why Can’t We Just Get Along. It was an open letter to all. A lamentation over the friction that exists between the sexes and within marriages. Hopefully those who were impacted by it were able to contemplate areas that they need to address. But it should not remain a mere contemplation.

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There is a business book that challenges successful leaders to become even more successful. The author, Marshall Goldsmith, wants to make his readers better. His main premise is in the title. My interpretation of it is as follows: You’ve gotten to where you are and that’s great. You’re a titan of the industry, but are you really as great as you think you are? Things have remained pretty steady for a while and they’re headed toward becoming stagnant. Your workers are uneasy. Morale is low. Although you are THE MAN (or THE WOMAN) nothing is changing. Why? Because what got you to this point isn’t going to take you to the finish line.

The same can be said for marriage. It is a corporate and cooperative experience, after all.

What’s Wrong With You?

In his book, Goldsmith identifies 20 bad habits that keep people from achieving real success in the workplace. Interestingly they are all interpersonal and behavioral rather than shortcomings in the area of skill or performance. In his words:

“They are egregious everyday annoyances that make your workplace substantial more noxious than it needs to be. They are transactional flaws performed by one person against others.”

Out of the 20 he lists, I’ve identified a “Top Ten” that play out in the marriage space.

To learn these Top Ten Bad Habits and read the rest of the article, visit 10 Things Wrong With You - In Your Marriage.


E.Payne is the author of Investing In An Emotional Letdown and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

So my hometown Bears blew it and so did my New York Jets. It will definitely be a blue collar Superbowl or a slugfest or some combination of both. All of which I'm fine with. It will be interesting to see if it's "Black & Yellow" or "Green & Yellow" when the smoke clears.

I just happened to be looking at some of the old Superbowl commercials from last year when I happened upon the following ad. If you recall, it was featured on this blog around this time last year.



As I continued my search, I noticed someone took it upon themselves to create a slick response video on behalf of women.

Warning: The following video contains one F-bomb and a B-word and a mention of breasts...



As the 2nd video didn't play on national TV there was no need for censorship. The first makes light of "A Man's Burden" to promote a testosterone-mobile. The second had no product to promote. It was pure commentary. And based on the final sentiment, it came off a little mean-spirited. It wasn't unlike the tone of most conversations between men and women on the topic of who has it worse. I do not disagree with the "Woman's Burden" as it was described. I presume the haggard look of the women versus the hopeless look of the men also speaks to the director's view that this burden is not only heavier, but one that is unsung and comes at a beauty-robbing price.

I'm not a woman so I can't speak to reality of that existence. So I'll ask the question: Is this what it really what it boils down to for you? What do you think about the video, Woman's Last Stand?

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Early on in my daughter's life, her mother explained her anatomy to her.

All of it...

Though I protested, I don't really have a place in the Family of Women and accepted that my wife's actions were for my daughter's benefit. I, on the other hand, opted to refer to my daughter's nether region as "Middle Parts".

Nowadays, I'm on board. It's good to know my daughter can let us know if she has a UTI. But a new complication emerged. For me, that is. My daughter believes we all have vaginas or as told to me by Blogger's spellcheck, vaginae.

A month ago I was getting dressed and my daughter walked down the hall to traumatize me:

"Ewww, I can see your vagina!"

I immediately looked down at my boxer briefs and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw all was in tact and not out of place.

"No, you can't, baby."

"Yes, I can. I can see it through your panties. I can see your vagina!" She was practically singing at this point.

I sighed heavily and said, "I'm not wearing panties. Boys wear what's called boxer shorts," and weakly mumbled, "I don't have a vagina."

"Uh huh, yes you do!"

This wasn't the first time this has happened. I've actually lost count at this point. I usually stand there looking helpless while my wife (if she's within earshot) laughs until she cries.

So nearly five years into my daughter's life here I am doing what I never anticipated: having a conversation, at least once a week, about my daughter's vagina. And when we're not talking about hers, we're discussing mine. And my panties too.

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A couple months back I launched a guest blogger series, What A Single Woman Wants, as an opportunity to share with us, tired and dusty married folk, what people on the front lines of romance are seeking. I wasn't sure what the call for writers would produce. The response was great. I then thought I was going to have to sit and edit, edit, edit. Instead I was blown away by the well crafted, thoughtful pieces I received. I was equally surprised by readers' response. Traffic was heavy for each post and it confirmed my site demographics --- the women far outnumber the men as far as readership here and when given the opportunity to voice their opinions, they will. If I was disappointed by any one thing it would have to be another function of these same demographics. The call for single women writers was open to anyone, and many did inquire, but in the end only African American women submitted articles. I believe love and the natural pursuit/happenings of love knows no color, class or nationality. Personally, I would've enjoyed hearing the thoughts of those who are white, Latina, Asian, pink, purple and polka dot in more than just the comments. Most of the experiences recorded here at Makes Me Wanna Holler - Man, Dad, Husband are common to all. Therefore, this blog is open to all.

So for the finale of this series I opted to change the title to What Women Want because single or married, the overarching sentiments expressed by these six single women can be applied to women in general. In fact, not only did these sentiments trump marital status, they trumped gender as well. What these women want in their man-to-be, everyone wants or has wanted in a partner at one point or another. This is their reminder to us all. Ladies and gentlemen, please get your pens and notepads ready.


Six Single Ladies on What Women Want:


TO BE PREPARED FOR THE ONE

Diamonte Hamlett says...

“Chivalry is alive and well; it’s just in all the men that women do not want”. [told to her by a man behind the register at McDonald's]

I was speechless. His statement was both a prophetic and descriptive analysis of my life at that point in time and even up until very recently. I had to admit to myself, several men had crossed my path and embodied many of attributes we as women say we want. These men were honest, thoughtful, romantic, unselfish, successful, committed, understanding, communicative, well adjusted and spiritual. While I wanted those qualities, I did not particularly want it from those men...

When someone asks me what I want, I am wise enough to admit that I do not know what I want. It has become clear that this journey is less about what I want and more about how I plan to be a person of sound enough character to handle it once it manifests.

If we allow it, singleness can lead us to a love that exceeds our greatest expectations and colors outside of the lines of our best drafted list.

Click here to read the rest of Diamonte's guest post.


CONFIDENCE

Brooke Dean says....

What draws me to a man like a moth to a flame is confidence. No, I don’t mean arrogance or cockiness. It’s not something that can be learned or faked. He either has it or he doesn’t. And I don’t just mean in the workplace, or in the bedroom or on the court. A man with true confidence displays it in all aspects of his life, even if not on a constant basis. In most cases, it needs to be generally present in the face of life’s challenges.

Click here to read the rest of Brooke's guest post.


COMPANIONSHIP & CAMARADERIE

Wynella Reid says...

Most days, I want nothing more than someone to greet me either when I get home from work or come in the door after me and wrap his arms around my waist while I change out of my work clothes. At other times I long for someone for whom I can prepare a great meal because I love to cook. (I want a man that I can fatten up so that no one else will want him. hah-hah). I would also like someone to do boy things with my boys. It’s a given that if you want to be with me you have to want to be with my boys. After all, if you want the cat you have to take the kittens too. At other times while the boys are in bed I want him to be the person with whom I can watch silly flicks or foreign films while cuddling on the couch.

Click here to read the rest of Wynella's guest post.


UNCONDITIONAL SUPPORT A.K.A. THE ONE-MAN PEP BAND

Veronica Miller says...

We all have our esoteric interests. So it’s not loving dance that’s important to me; it’s knowing that I love it and honoring that fact. The boyfriend couldn’t tell me the difference between a plié and a jeté, but that lack of knowledge didn't hold a candle to what he gave me. And in those moments of self-doubt and anxiety, that support is crucial. It could be the difference between a great audition, or falling flat on the floor.

When a woman has a one-man pep band playing for her, she feels like she can take on the world --- and whether she wins or not, she gets to come home to someone who’s still cheering, regardless.

Click here to read the rest of Veronica's guest post.


TO BE THE ONE YOU DREAMED OF

RaN'ae Bacon says...

What we really want is the opportunity to be everything to you as well. We want to be your lover, your best friend, your motivator, your #1 cheerleader, your hot chick that makes your friends jealous and your voice of reason. Most of all we want someone that wants and needs all of this from us. We want our man to appreciate and believe when we say, “Baby, you got this, because I got you!”

Click here to read the rest of RaN'ae's guest post.


TO LOVE & BE LOVED

Calandra Hackney says...

I had to ask myself do I exhibit the same attributes. In order to receive you have to give. Am I generous in my daily life? And I’m not talking monetarily. Do I give love, a nice thought, a blessing, do a good deed? And as far as spirituality I had to ask if I was being my best spiritual self. In order for anything that you ask for to manifest itself you to have to be what it is you are asking for. If you want love you have to be love. If you want things created in your life you have to be creative.

What single women want varies especially when we get down to specifics and type and all that good stuff but I believe at the core we are all looking for unconditional love in the mate that we are asking for and that love must first start from within. Once we are loving ourselves and operating through love, not fear, anything is possible.

Click here to read the rest of Calandra's post.


I hope this was as enjoyable for you as it was for me. We (myself and the single ladies) would love to hear your thoughts and opinions on this series in the comments section of this post.

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What better way to celebrate the 1st day of the new month than to talk about the month that just ended? The following were the top 5 posts of November:

1. WIVES: In Your Own Words


2. Love Is...Interrupted Sleep


3. Threesomes (Revisited)


4. The (Emergency) Shirt Off My Back


5. To Be Loved Or To Be Lusted?

Have a favorite post from MMWH not listed above? Please, let me know in the comments.

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Thanksgiving in my native Chicago was a time for reconnecting with Family. And like many family gatherings there were plenty of non-relatives who were along for the festivities. A "play cousin" of the family (that I can't say I honestly know) stopped by and managed to catch my eye as she took off her coat. I may have even gasped the way one might if they saw an angel. Thankfully for me, my wife wasn't there to witness my mouth fall open agog. Instead sitting beside me was one of my closest cousins who I consider a little sister. She caught me in the act and had plenty to say.

"She has a nice body, huh?" she asked me with her arms folded. Her voice, dripping with condescension.

I looked at her, nodded and made no attempt to deny the obvious. She shook her head.

"See, you men... (always a great way to begin a discussion) "...girls like that always get guys at the club."

First of all, the only girl in the room was my new third cousin who happily drooled as she bounced around on her grandmother's lap. I looked at my thirty-three year old, burgeoning entrepreneur, Master's degree in Engineering cousin and asked her if she seriously wanted a man from the club. Her eyes widened, having realized what she said. She quickly threw the ball back in my court by telling me men go after women like her (the play-cousin I won't claim) before they consider a woman such as herself.

"I'm not exactly sure what you're trying to say," I responded. "But you're beautiful so don't even go there. There's a difference between lust and love and you're talking about being lusted after. That's what you want?"

My cousin, in true little sister fashion, told me to shut-up and stop being over-intellectual.

I definitely understand the pressures of those trying to get into the dating game. But with nearly twenty years of dating escapades and three years of marriage under my belt, I'll pass on being lusted after and take love any and every day of the week. Lust burns hot, bright, fast and out. Love endures.

How about you? Love or lust? Or a little of both?

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Yesterday, I asked Fans of the MMWH Facebook Page, who are wives, to complete the following statement:

"A wife is a woman who _____________."

These are some of the responses I received so far:

"...has to be strong enough to deal with her husband's foolishness and still allow him to be a man."

"...is always there no matter their faults, trusting in him, makes him feel safe and secure, being his strength when he's weak. just loving him for better or worst..."

"...loves the Lord and shows it through her actions toward her husband."

"...knows who she is, what shes worth and why she means so much to her husband. loves God and reflects that love in her interactions and words...and absence of words... respects that they're equally human and is able to gracefully handle imperfect circumstances and situations for the sake of the team (marriage)."

"...has many roles. Chef, Maid, Nurse, Mommy, Handyman, Personal Shopper --- the list goes on an on..."

"...holds it down no matter what even when he is wrong or right."

"...is her husband's everything. They have become one in God's eyes. She completes him and he has no complaints (well, sometimes, lol)."

"...means the world to her husband , when he is in her world there is no place he would rather be."

It is interesting to watch the dynamic. Some of the statements here are directly related to husbands, suggesting the condition of "wifedom" has everything to do with what a husband does or doesn't do. Some statements speak to teamwork and the nuances of marriage. Some are deeply spiritual. Mixed in with many of the above are assertions of wife should be, period, independent of a husband or what kind of day they might be having. Personally, I like these the most because the focus is on the self which ultimately makes the whole better. But that's just my opinion. What's yours?

What would you add to this growing list? What thoughts do you have on what you've just read?

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