Tuesday

GUEST POST: Understanding ME-Time & How Speaking Up Changed My Relationship For The Better

I love my husband. He is the most caring, loving man I have ever met. I have a hard time leaving him, even if it is just for a weekend. We are excepting our second baby (I'm due in September!). I don't have to beg for him to take the trash out, he works everyday, he loves me fiercely. It all sounds good, right?

My husband is 15 years older than me. Some say I got myself another daddy. One thing I do know is my husband loves me. He works 50-60 hours a week to make sure he provides for his family. Since I have not been in the workforce in what seems like forever, I'm not very understanding when it comes to needing my time. I used to expect him to work 10 hours a day and then still come home and do everything I had on my to-do list for him.

I was tired of him not listening to me about our money problems. I was tired of him not listening about my schoolwork. I felt like he was ignoring me. I'm the one at home cooking, cleaning, and taking care of his kids. He was raised in a household where his grandfather worked outside of the home and his grandmother was at home. My hubby wanted the same for me. I decided to stay at home for him. I felt the least he could do was listen to me when I had something to say. It wasn't until our son brought it to my attention that there was a problem.

I realized that my husband was not the problem. It was me. I complained about how he worked too much, did not take enough time out for the kids, how we didn't have any money, but I never told him thank you. I know going to work at 5 am and not getting off until 5 pm is not easy. I never said thank you for all you do for this family. I was taking him for granted.

What do I do differently now?

I get up from whatever I am doing to greet him when he gets off work.
I ask him when he gets home if he would like his plate now.
give him 45 minutes to an hour to relax after a long day. I keep the kids out of his way as well.
I am sure to ask him about his day. If he says he is tired, I know it was a long day. If he says it was okay, it's okay to ask him to do what I need him to do.
We have a weekly family meeting--this is my time to let it all out!

Sometimes you are the problem. You have to take control to change what you don't like. He is my husband and I want this to work. I changed what wasn't working into something that worked.

About the Author:

Kanesha Vance lives in Oklahoma with her husband and one-year-old son. She loves to speak on parenting, marriage, school, but most of all MONEY. She is a full-time stay at home mom, who blogs about her journey through life. Please check her out and read her at MoneyMattersMama.com

I get up from whatever I am doing to greet him when he gets off work.
I ask him when he gets home if he would like his plate now.
give him 45 minutes to an hour to relax after a long day. I keep the kids out of his way as well.
I am sure to ask him about his day. If he says he is tired, I know it was a long day. If he says it was okay, it's okay to ask him to do what I need him to do.
We have a weekly family meeting--this is my time to let it all out!