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Things That Make You Go Hmm....

  • My wife wakes me up in the middle of the night to tell me I'm breathing heavy (not snoring). But she doesn't ask if I'm okay.
  • We have a standing "last one up" rule. The last one up shuts everything down. My wife will sometimes come upstairs after watching television and wake me up to tell me to turn the light off on my side of the bed...because it's on my side.
  • My wife gets up to use the restroom in the middle of the night jumps back into bed and throws herself across three quarters of it and wakes me up to tell me I'm hogging up most of the bed. I often wake up to find myself staring at the floor from the sliver of mattress I'm sleeping on. And what she believes is me is typically a pillow or the comforter.
But I'm the bad guy...

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