A Note On Parenting And Decision Making

I used to believe my ability to make decisions, the careful deliberateness of the whole thing was based on my thoroughness. Not only did I believe this but it was seconded by a close friend and frat brother who felt the same of himself.

During my marriage this deliberateness hasn't always proved to be desirable to my other half. In fact it was the source of much resentment of me by her a few years back. To which I shrugged my shoulders and thought Deal with it.

But at nearly forty-one I know differently now now that I've been around long enough to start looking backwards. Long enough to connect dots that once were just scattered points in my timeline.

I realize now that my decision making has had less to do with deliberation and more to do with inability. As a child all of my decisions were made for me, as they should have been outside of maybe choices in candy, some toys and maybe colors of pants. As a teen all of my decisions were made for me, as I'm not do sure they should have been. I have a very loving but a very controlling father who in his desire for me to succeed may have removed from me a critical tool to succeed: the ability to choose.