This past Saturday I was ready to quit. Yes, that's right, me Mr. Positivity 99% of the time. Well I hit my one percent and I was ready to be done with something I've been working on for a very long time.

And then I went to church the next day and although the pastor was preaching to an entire congregation his words felt directed solely at me. I didn't go there seeking his wisdom. In fact I found his words to be inescapable because I was trying to escape them. I left the service with renewed intention, but here's the key: a different game plan. The next few weeks and months will determine if this past Sunday was a life-changing event.

I know it's only Tuesday but I just want to encourage those of you reading this, whomever you are and wherever you come from, do not quit. I'm not being surface-level and talking about some job you can't stand, but what I'm saying is don't quit on the desires of your heart. Stop telling yourself you can't and start doing. Stop contemplating the worst outcomes and begin embracing the best ones. Don't focus on the what ifs of failure and focus 100% on getting the job done. My daughter is slowly but surely riding her bike without training wheels and her initial question was, "Daddy, what if I fall?" to which I responded, "If you focus on not falling you'll never concentrate on riding the bike." After saying this about a dozen times, she began to get it and continued to pedal knowing I was no longer holding on to the back seat. In late June I tried my best to avoid joining an exercise bootcamp until I heard my own excuses coming out of my mouth. Now I'm six pounds lighter and feel brand new because as soon as my feet touched down on the track where I work out, I knew I could.

I know you can, if you only try. Please try. Don't quit.

---

Thanks for reading! Follow me on Twitter at @EPayneTheDad.

I used to believe my ability to make decisions, the careful deliberateness of the whole thing was based on my thoroughness. Not only did I believe this but it was seconded by a close friend and frat brother who felt the same of himself.

During my marriage this deliberateness hasn't always proved to be desirable to my other half. In fact it was the source of much resentment of me by her a few years back. To which I shrugged my shoulders and thought Deal with it.

But at nearly forty-one I know differently now now that I've been around long enough to start looking backwards. Long enough to connect dots that once were just scattered points in my timeline.

I realize now that my decision making has had less to do with deliberation and more to do with inability. As a child all of my decisions were made for me, as they should have been outside of maybe choices in candy, some toys and maybe colors of pants. As a teen all of my decisions were made for me, as I'm not do sure they should have been. I have a very loving but a very controlling father who in his desire for me to succeed may have removed from me a critical tool to succeed: the ability to choose.

I screwed up royally last week, passing on a high-paying opportunity and then feeling worse when I tried to backtrack off my initial stance. I sealed my fate the second I opened my mouth and probably epoxy-super-glued it when I came back to backtrack. I spent about 18 hours feeling like I had failed and well, I had. I did everything you're not supposed to do --- I was honest about my feelings and what I wanted. But in the midst of my self-admonishment an idea sprang forth directly based on that failure and now I have a crystallized game-plan, one that might be the most solid I've ever had. One I can pitch and talk about in my sleep. No more convincing myself first in hopes that I'll convince someone else. Thanks failure! Out of the womb of failure, success is born. (As long as you don't stay trippin' over the failure part).

Stay tuned.

---

Thanks for reading! Follow me on Twitter at @EPayneTheDad.