Friday

Victories - Both Large And Small...and Retreats

How 'bout those Lakers?

How 'bout those Celtics?

How 'bout Team USA (soccer/football/futbol)?

This week was a rollercoaster of emotions for everyone but my daughter who's emotional tumult has been the usual for her age. It was a good week for her. She had her first Picture Day at school, came home with a goody bag full of candy from one of her classmates birthday parties, and is looking forward to her end of the year field trip.

A day passed by quietly after my talk with my son. A scheduled photoshoot I had with a client, that I rented equipment for, went up in smoke. Conventional wisdom would suggest: "Get out there and use the equipment! Shoot everything under the sun!" But it's still sitting in my bag untouched, untested, unused.

We had a meeting with the Committee for Special Education, regarding my son's academic career. I went into the meeting armed and ready to advocate on his behalf. The meeting wasn't going well and before I could open my mouth to advocate the Committee Chair ruled that he have an Independent Education Plan not because he was Learning Disabled but because his attention issues have wreaked havoc on his classroom performance. Every argument I had written down on my pad of notes (given to me by a friend who is a former principal) she rattled off, word for word. I sat back in my chair and relaxed, shocked that the fight I was prepared to bring never materialized. Score!

That evening my son held a meeting for all the old people in the house in the living room. I had to be called to the front because I'm not old. Once I was seated on the couch he stood before my wife and I and apologized for his actions earlier in the week and stated his willingness to be accountable for them and he offered that he'd work harder to fulfill his obligations around the house. There was plenty of stuttering and all, but he's a teenager so he's allowed some slack. I was impressed. Score!

Quite a few seasoned step-fathers have offered to take me out for drinks over the next few days to share war stories. Truth is I have no real desire to talk about the events of this week. It is what it is. It happened. It's over until the next time, if and whenever that is. My wife is making plans for Father's Day, my son asked me just yesterday what I would like, my daughter is telling me all the things she intends to make for me that sound more like gifts for her. But quietly I don't want any of it. I want to shrink away from Father's Day this year. In my mind everyday is Father's Day, the waking hours that I spend doing my job as a parent, loving it or not and doing it anyway. Although I drool at the prospect of some new piece of tech, a MAN-icure or a professional shave with a straight razor, I'd rather pass through this coming Sunday anonymously and begin again on Monday. Maybe it's a retreat, maybe it's not wanting to be bothered, maybe I'm just tired. Losing weight and feeling good about myself is present enough for me these days. I'm thankful for the opportunity to be Dad and I'm not sure if I could do it all over again I'd do too much that much differently.

All in all I'm thankful and I hope the rest of the dads out there are too.

Happy Father's Day

E.Payne