How 'bout those Lakers?

How 'bout those Celtics?

How 'bout Team USA (soccer/football/futbol)?

This week was a rollercoaster of emotions for everyone but my daughter who's emotional tumult has been the usual for her age. It was a good week for her. She had her first Picture Day at school, came home with a goody bag full of candy from one of her classmates birthday parties, and is looking forward to her end of the year field trip.

A day passed by quietly after my talk with my son. A scheduled photoshoot I had with a client, that I rented equipment for, went up in smoke. Conventional wisdom would suggest: "Get out there and use the equipment! Shoot everything under the sun!" But it's still sitting in my bag untouched, untested, unused.

We had a meeting with the Committee for Special Education, regarding my son's academic career. I went into the meeting armed and ready to advocate on his behalf. The meeting wasn't going well and before I could open my mouth to advocate the Committee Chair ruled that he have an Independent Education Plan not because he was Learning Disabled but because his attention issues have wreaked havoc on his classroom performance. Every argument I had written down on my pad of notes (given to me by a friend who is a former principal) she rattled off, word for word. I sat back in my chair and relaxed, shocked that the fight I was prepared to bring never materialized. Score!

That evening my son held a meeting for all the old people in the house in the living room. I had to be called to the front because I'm not old. Once I was seated on the couch he stood before my wife and I and apologized for his actions earlier in the week and stated his willingness to be accountable for them and he offered that he'd work harder to fulfill his obligations around the house. There was plenty of stuttering and all, but he's a teenager so he's allowed some slack. I was impressed. Score!

Quite a few seasoned step-fathers have offered to take me out for drinks over the next few days to share war stories. Truth is I have no real desire to talk about the events of this week. It is what it is. It happened. It's over until the next time, if and whenever that is. My wife is making plans for Father's Day, my son asked me just yesterday what I would like, my daughter is telling me all the things she intends to make for me that sound more like gifts for her. But quietly I don't want any of it. I want to shrink away from Father's Day this year. In my mind everyday is Father's Day, the waking hours that I spend doing my job as a parent, loving it or not and doing it anyway. Although I drool at the prospect of some new piece of tech, a MAN-icure or a professional shave with a straight razor, I'd rather pass through this coming Sunday anonymously and begin again on Monday. Maybe it's a retreat, maybe it's not wanting to be bothered, maybe I'm just tired. Losing weight and feeling good about myself is present enough for me these days. I'm thankful for the opportunity to be Dad and I'm not sure if I could do it all over again I'd do too much that much differently.

All in all I'm thankful and I hope the rest of the dads out there are too.

Happy Father's Day

E.Payne

Remember this? I wouldn't be surprised if you don't. It lived and died on the Makes Me Wanna Holler Facebook Page. You can check it out below:



This contest didn't go so well, in fact, it made about as much of a splash as a pebble does in the Atlantic Ocean.

Oh well, things don't always go as planned. You move on and try, try, again.

• Do you need to get in shape?


• Does the Dad in your life need to get in shape?


• Do you need a kick in that place just beneath your beltline, directly opposite your front side to get you jump started?


• Can you even see your beltline anymore?


• Or, would you simply like to try something different other than the usual humdrum of lifting weights or running on a treadmill at your local gym?

Then, please, have a week on me (LA Boxing, actually):


THE FATHER'S DAY 1-WEEK WORKOUT JUMPSTART GIVEAWAY

The good folks over at LA BOXING are offering one (1) One-Week Trial Membership at one of their gyms in YOUR neighborhood. It's a great opportunity for you to get it together and take the first step to getting, or staying in shape. Take it from me. I'm a believer. If this is your first time here, you can follow my weight-loss/get in shape travels at To The Test: Real Words, Real People, Real Results.

The winner will be chosen via Random.org.


This is a little taste of what you'll face, if you win:



This giveaway IS NOT the Fresno gym (unless you win and you live in Fresno). It's actually for the LA Boxing Gym in your hood. So before you decide to enter you have to find out if LA Boxing is actually in your neighborhood or the neighborhood of the Dad in your life. The easiest way to find out is to visit www.LABOXING.com, click on the GYM LOCATOR link near the top of the page and enter your Zip Code. If you're there's one nearby then you're in luck! Keep reading, enter to win and do something besides coming up with some last-minute As Seen On TV $10 gift for Dear old Dad, the man who has let himself go to keep everyone else's wheels greased and running properly.


CONTEST RULES:

MANDATORY ENTRY:

• You MUST leave a comment here as to why you would like to win this 1-week trial membership. If you're a Dad then speak for yourself. If you want it for the Dad in your life then state why you would like the membership for him.

Additional Entries (You can do any or all of the following, BUT each are invalid without the Mandatory Entry above):

• Comment on any post on this blog (1 additional entry per post) - please state in the comments section of this post which additional post(s) you commented on.


• Create a video/webcast stating why you want this prize or who you want it for. Once you've created your video please Contact Me with the link for the video. (10 additional entries)


• Join the Makes Me Wanna Holler Facebook Page (2 additional entries) - let me know here in the comments section that you've joined.


• Become a friend on Google Friend Connect (see the right column of this page) - let me know here in the comments section of this post, that you've joined (2 additional entries).


• Tweet (the red text): Enter @MakesMeHoller to win a 1-week membership at LA Boxing in your neighborhood for the father you love. http://bit.ly/chMtIK #giveaway (1 entry per tweet)

Contest Duration:

The contest will run from 9:30am (PST), Monday, June 14, 2010 to 8:00 am (PST), Friday, June 18, 2010.


Eligibility:

All entrants in this contest must be a resident of the United States and have a working email address.


Official Product Info:

Please visit the LA BOXING website.


Disclosure: This is not a sponsored post. Neither E.Payne nor MakesMeWannaHoller.com has been compensated in any way for this post or contest prize.

It's no secret that there is a dearth of active and committed African American fathers in the African American families. One out of every two children in the United States will live in a single-parent family at some time before they reach age 18. According the United States Census Bureau, in 2002 about 20 million children lived in a household with only their mother or their father. 16.5 million or 23 percent of all children were living with their single mother. This group included 48 percent of all African-American children, 16 percent of all non-Hispanic white children, 13 percent of Asian/Pacific Islander children, and 25 percent of children of Hispanic origin.

Wow!

Of course these figures can be broken down further to explain that some of these households are homes that contain two unmarried adults, but this is only a some. On it's face, 48% of all African-American children were living with their single mom's in 2002. We won't know what the final tally is for the coming census numbers, but if the negative is trending as positively as it has been for the past several years, things don't look good.

Or do they? In the midst of miserable statistics there are always champions fighting to reverse the tide.

One such person is author, activist, psychotherapist and film producer, Dwayne L. Buckingham. He has released a new film, "A Black Man’s Worth! Conqueror and Head of Household.”

In his film, Buckingham captures the most thought-provoking and heart-felt stories ever told by Black males who have experienced the negative and disheartening consequences of growing up in fatherless households. As a Black male who grew up in a fatherless household, Buckingham personally experienced the psychological, social and economic hardships most commonly experienced by Black males who are forced to cope with this harsh phenomenon and has dedicated his life to preventing the vicious fatherless cycle from reoccurring. Buckingham strives to provide Black males with the knowledge and skills essential to establishing and maintaining a positive and productive household.



This movie promises to be an eye-opener and something that can be discussed for days and weeks to come long after Father's Day 2010 has been forgotten.


ENTER TO WIN YOUR VERY OWN COPY OF A BLACK MAN'S WORTH!

Just in time for Father's Day, I'm pleased to be able to give away one (1) A Black Man’s Worth! Conqueror and Head of Household package which includes one (1) DVD, (1) accompanying book and one (1) A Black Man's Worth t-shirt. The Winner will be selected using Random.org.



CONTEST RULES:

MANDATORY ENTRY:

• You MUST leave a comment here as to why you want this DVD package or to whom you'd like to give it to as a gift.

Additional Entries (each count as an individual entry):

• You can "LIKE" the A Black Man's Worth Facebook Page. (You MUST let me know here in the comments section of THIS post in order for this additional entry to be counted.)
• You can leave a comment (of your choosing) on the A Black Man's Worth Facebook Page. (You MUST let me know here in the comments section of THIS post in order for this additional entry to be counted.)
• You can follow Subscbribe via RSS or Email to this log. Make sure you let me know in the comments section below.
• Join the Makes Me Wanna Holler Facebook Fan Page (there is an additional perk for the 250th fan of my Facebook Fan Page) Make sure you let me know in the comments section below.
• Become a Follower of this blog on Google Friend Connect (see the right hand column of this page). Make sure you let me know in the comments section below.

Contest Duration:

The contest will run from 1:00pm (PST), Thursday, June 10, 2010 to 11:59 am, Tuesday, June 15, 2010 (PST).


Eligibility:

All entrants in this contest must be a resident of the United States or have a valid United States mailing address.

Official Product Info:

Please visit R.E.A.L. Horizons Consulting Services, LLC

Disclosure: This is not a sponsored post. Neither E.Payne nor MakesMeWannaHoller.com has been compensated in any way for this post or giveaway.

THE MAN

It was just this past December when I wrote here on this blog that I couldn't stand the sight of me in the mirror. I believe my phraseology was something like when looking in the mirror I didn't know what (not who) I was looking at.

These days, I'm enjoying my reflection quite a bit, short of becoming narcissistic. The pudge that was in my cheeks is noticeably reduced, revealing sharper lines. The backfat from the small of my back is gone, although there's still more to be removed from the rest of my midsection. I'm standing erect, moving around easily. Intensity flares in my eyes. I go to bed dead tired and wake up not wanting to wake up, but I hit the ground running and don't stop until I'm dead tired again. I'm take charge and fight the doubt that swirls in my head every time I'm poised to do something that will benefit me. The soundtrack of my life right now is a mix of Rock, R&B, House Music with some touches of Hip Hop. It's my warrior's soundtrack. I've written extensively about "Getting Back To Me". And I feel me clawing my way out of the fat blob of discontent I've been for the past 3-4 years. If I were to be completely honest with myself it probably began before then all the way back to when I found out I was going to be a dad for real.

I feel in control, though I know I control nothing. I feel power, though as a man I only have direction over me. I feel I am standing at the threshold of something great. This can mean one of two things or be a combination of both: I am moments or mere steps away from peace of mind, or I'm about to hit paydirt. Either way I feel it and I'm encouraged by the substance of what I can't see (a.k.a. Faith).


THE DAD

Anyone who would ever question my dedication and actions as a father (not that it's ever happened) would seriously get their feelings hurt. By no means am I a perfect dad. Sometimes I'm quick to anger. Sometimes I growl, yell and bark. Sometimes I'm not interested in being patient. Sometimes I get fed up with these little people (even the one who is taller than me now) telling me what to do. I deal with their youthful rudeness as I would a man of my maturity and understanding. And then I realize what I've done when I see them cowering before the Man that I am. Sometimes I enjoy the reaction. It's wrong, but it happens sometimes. Otherwise, they are the number one priorities in my life. I am up before the sun making sure my son has a hot breakfast before he has to face his demons (and there are many) at the high school. I tell him to have a great day whether he responds to me or not. I let his occasional teenage ingratitude roll off me like the water does in the shower. I fight for him at the school. I fight to keep him busy. I fight to instill in him as many tenets of manhood as I can before he flies the coop. My daughter plain and simple is my power source. Like the Arc Reactor embedded in Tony Stark's a.k.a Iron Man's chest, she powers me, even as she drains me. I listen to her as if she were a Ph.D. I empower her not to become entitled and helpless because of her staggering beauty which is currently disguised as unbelievable cuteness. I pray with her. I read to her. I keep her centered. I do tea parties and playdough parties. I get dressed in suits and make my hats and caps look silly to fit the scenarios of whatever adventure she's cooked up in her head and chosen to include me in. I do what any parent should do. I love them --- in word, in emotion and in action. And I'm thankful to have been put in charge of them.


THE HUSBAND

The husband I am, I'm not so sure about as of late. Many who have been with me through these past couple of years know that my wife was a major subject matter in my blogging. Since the beginning of this year it'd be hard to not notice that I've barely mentioned her at all. Those commenters who always had something to say about my musing on married life have become mute, my traffic has dipped, but my subscribers keep increasing. I've given up trying to figure it out.

This morning I had an argument with my wife. In my outrage, the real me, that me that I mentioned at the beginning of this post, confessed that I'm not the loving husband I thought I'd be, need to be or even want to be. I am my mother's child: sensitive, thoughtful, fashion conscious, obedient to the law and very concerned about the well being of others. But as I chase down 40 I'm discovering that I am just as much my father's son: brooding, methodical, distant, cold, academic instead of emotional, as a matter of fact and sometime downright stoic. The distinction I can make is that I am my mother's child. I become my father's son when on the defense. I love my father with all my heart for everything that he is and is not, but in the bag of traits that was handed down to me I made a point not to pick the ones I listed here. I seem to have grabbed them anyway. Why this has happened, whose fault this is, is somewhat irrelevant for the purpose of this post. I guess I just am stating all this to state to the universe that by no means am I a perfect man. I don't profess to know it all and in most circles I'd prefer to keep my knowledge to myself lest it be challenged. I let my spirit guide me, but in a world ruled by the self I am constantly at odds because I am not in sync with most.

Marriage is something many enter into lightly, not understanding that it is a contract written in blood and DNA. Many men who find themselves overwhelmed or disillusioned have a simple solution: they cheat. But I believe (as a married man) I should have all my eggs in only one basket. And they are in plain sight for everyone to see under the roof of my home and nowhere else.

I'm a Man, I'm a Dad, And I'm a Husband. And I'm doing the best I can.

I just felt like sharing.

To be continued (or added to) at some point in the future...

How's that for transparent?

THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED...THANKS TO ALL WHO PARTICIPATED!!!

Jawbone?

"What the [expletive] is a Jawbone?" was what I said aloud to myself when the good folks at OutCast Communications reached out to me. Then I clicked on the supplied links and I thought to myself, That [expletive] is ugly!

At the time I didn't know the Jawbone ICON was CNET's highest rated headset. Ever. Personally, I'm not that much of a Bluetooth guy although I completely understand and admire the technology. But most folks walking down the street looking like Trekkies with their communicators in their ears look, in a word, ridiculous. What's even more ridiculous is how this same set of people think they look so on point with their earpiece. I could see if they were FBI or CIA but usually they're talking to someone they saw a few minutes ago. I'm a fan of understated tech. That is technology you can't see, is wireless, and/or is super-thin and has battery life. Battery life is and always will be critical to me. I'm not a fan of skinny with 1 hour's worth of battery-life.

I've had various earpieces for my cellphones over the years and can't say I truly felt hands-free until I discovered Bluetooth connectivity. Once I experienced in-dash Bluetooth connectivity in a vehicle I was 100% hooked and 100% hands-free, but I was only test-driving that car, so the euphoria was fleeting.

I say all this to say that my last headset, made by Jabbra disappeared somewhere in my daughter's room and I haven't seen it in months. Knowing that I needed something to use while driving (sadly, I am a cellphone-driving and occasional email-reading offender), I responded to the good folks at OutCast and in a matter of days my Jawbone Icon, Hero model was delivered to my door.

I opened the box and was...AMAZED. By far it has to be the sexiest headset I've ever seen. I has a couple of different configurations that allow you to wear either looped over your ear or in it like in-ear headphones. If you have hair (unlike me) you can completely conceal it if necessary. It is affordable-understated, meaning it's about as small as it can get without reaching an absurd price-point. The sound is crystal clear and with their patented Noise-Assassin (military grade noise canceling technology) I can drive with the windows down and the person on the other end of the call is none the wiser.




And it doesn't end there. They have apps! Yeah, just like everyone else these days. Instead of a random computerized voice that provides you with battery-life stats, incoming call info and so on you can pick and choose the voice you want in your ear. I opted for The Ace, a British woman that reminds me of Tony Stark's Jarvis. She's quite snarky too. If I choose to ignore a call she let's me know "We don't have time for that." Cools...

Additional capabilities include being able to dial 411, receiving turn-by-turn directions, voice activated dialing, and listening to music (which includes any videos you have on your phone) all through your headset. It even has the capability for you to voice update social media sites such as Twitter and Facebook. However keep in mind, you are limited by the services your actual carrier provides. So if you don't have voice activated on your phone don't expect any miracles from the Jawbone.

I still won't be outside walking the streets wearing this neat little Bluetooth headset because that's not who I am, but anywhere where I need it --- in my home cooking, writing or whatever, behind the wheel or even as a passenger, outside watering my plants --- I'll definitely have my Jawbone ICON Hero stuck in my ear.



GET DAD THE HOTTEST TECH-CESSORY FOR FATHER'S DAY!

I'm giving away one (1) Jawbone ICON Hero Bluetooth Headset to one (1) individual just in time for Father's Day. The Winner will be selected using Random.org.


CONTEST RULES:

MANDATORY ENTRY:

Leave a comment on this post stating why you want this for Father's Day, or why you want it for the Father in your life.

Additional Entries (each count as an individual entry):

• Subscbribe via RSS or Email to this log. Make sure you let me know in the comments section below.
  

• Join the Makes Me Wanna Holler Facebook Fan Page (there is an additional perk for the 250th fan of my Facebook Fan Page) Make sure you let me know in the comments section below.
  

• Become a Follower on Google Friend Connect. Make sure you let me know in the comments section below.

• Tweet the following (red text and included link only): Win A Jawbone Icon for Father's Day! RT @MakesMeHoller & Enter to win! http://tinyurl.com/2553c36 #giveaway Make sure you let me know here in the comments of this post that you tweeted so your entry can be counted. 3 tweets per day max during contest duration. (1 additional entry per day of tweeting).
  

• Update Your Facebook Status (red text and included link only): Win A Jawbone Icon for Father's Day! @Makes Me Wanna Holler - Man, Dad, Husband Enter to win! http://tinyurl.com/2553c36 #giveaway Make sure you let me know here in the comments of this post that you updated your status so your entry can be counted. 3 updates per day max during contest duration. (1 additional entry per day of updating).

Contest Duration:

The contest will run from 1:00pm (PST), Wednesday, June 9, 2010 to 11:59 am (PST), Tuesday, June 15, 2010.


Eligibility:

All entrants in this contest must be a resident of the United States or have a valid United States mailing address.


Official Product Info:

As a parent, there are never enough hours in the day but Jawbone ICON, the world's most intelligent and stylish hands-free device, brings new meaning to productivity. This Bluetooth headset helps busy dads multi-task by letting them talk hands-free wherever they are: driving kids to sports practice, talking to a client or packing for a vacation or business trip.

The award winning Jawbone ICON also lets dad listen to music, podcasts or audio books wire-free, along with turn-by-turn GPS driving directions whispered into his ear, all while keeping his hands on the wheel.

Jawbone ICON comes in six striking designs - each with unique names that reflect the personas they embody. So, you can tell Dad he's your HERO!



Disclosure: I did receive a Jawbone Icon Hero strictly for review purposes. This is not a sponsored post. Neither E.Payne nor MakesMeWannaHoller.com is being compensated in any way for this review or giveaway.

As promised, I've got goodies for the Month of the Dad --- the thirty days that lead up to Father's Day.

First on my list is the Backyard Sports: Sandlot Sluggers video game:



A little over a month ago I had the absolute pleasure to visit Atari's Manhattan offices where I got to test out Sandlot Sluggers with the developer who created it.

First off the game is highly intuitive and on my platform of choice, Wii, intuitive goes without saying. Who doesn't want an opportunity to knock it out of the park and not be labored with a whole bunch of commands?

Secondly, meeting a game developer and listening to his passion for creating video games was no different than me listening to a master photographer, musician or celebrated author discuss their motivation and workflow. I know these guys have reputations for being uber geeky, but the guy I met was a master of his craft, plain and simple.

Check out these powerups:



And characters:



This is definitely something to do with the entire family on a rainy day, to set up as an "always-on" activity when hosting a barbecue at your home, or to do when whittling away the day when your games aren't on and the wife is gone for the day with the kids.

Backyard Sports: Sandlot Sluggers offers hours of entertainment with laugh out loud comedic commentary and exaggerated animations for a one-of-a-kind gaming experience. The game is packed with loads of surprises to keep kids coming back for more and stars a neighborhood full of fun and diverse kids – both fan favorite characters and new friends. New features like Power-ups, Mini Games, and Family Co-op allow for a fun-filled experience for the whole family—young and old!


THE GIVEAWAY:

Two (2) copies of the Backyard Sports: Sandlot Sluggers for the Wii will be given away to two (2) individual contestants. Winners will be selected using Random.org.


CONTEST RULES:

MANDATORY ENTRY:

Leave a comment on any post on this blog and let me know in the comments section of this post.

Additional Entries:

• Subscbribe via RSS or Email to this log (counts for 5 additional entries).

• Join the Makes Me Wanna Holler Facebook Fan Page (there is an additional perk for the 250th fan of my Facebook Fan Page) (counts for 5 additional entries).

• Become a Follower on Google Friend Connect (see right hand column of this blog) (counts for 5 additional entries).

• Tweet the following: Fun for the whole family! Check @MakesMeHoller & Enter to win a copy of Backyard Sports: Sandlot Sluggers http://tinyurl.com/2do4de2 #giveaway Remember to let me know you tweeted in the comments below. 3 tweets per day during contest duration. (1 additional entry per day of tweeting).
  

• Update Your Facebook Status: Just in time for Father's Day and the whole family: enter to win a copy of Backyard Sports: Sandlot Sluggers for the Wii http://www.makesmewannaholler.com/2010/05/backyard-sports-sandlot-sluggers-for.html Be sure to let me know in the comments below that you've updated your status so that your entries can be counted. 3 status updates per day during contest duration (1 additional entry per day of status updates).

Contest Duration:

The contest will run from 12:00pm, Monday, May 24, 2010 to 11:59 pm, Friday, June 4, 2010.


Eligibility:

You must be a resident of the United States or have a valid U.S. mailing address.


Good luck!


Official Product Information:
In time for the 2010 season, eager young baseball fans can play rain or shine with Atari’s all-new Backyard Sports: Sandlot Sluggers video game for Xbox360, Wii™, and Nintendo DS™ shipping out May 25, 2010. Based on one of the best selling kids’ sports videogame series, Backyard Sports: Sandlot Sluggers allows players to join their favorite neighborhood friends and play ball in fun and exciting arcade style sports action. Sandlot Sluggers, developed by HB Studios, is a completely new take on a longtime favorite franchise with all-new features, updated graphics, enhanced gameplay, and extensive options that will keep players and gamers alike enthusiastically entertained.


Disclosure: This is not a sponsored post. Neither E.Payne nor MakesMeWannaHoller.com is being compensated in any way for this review or giveaway.

As we're only a couple days out from being one month from Father's Day I'm going to shift gears away from the fam and start focusing on that person that plays the part of dear old dad: men. (Drumroll and horns...) Behold the month of the DAD!!!

I've been quite vocal (visual, actually) for the past couple of months about my experience at LABoxing: getting back into shape after a four-year hiatus --- enduring their hour-long, 1,000 calorie cardio box beatdown. I've even expressed my newfound love of and ability to jump (skip, to use the proper terminology) rope. Currently I'm jumping rope about 5 days per week and I'm working out at the gym roughly 3 days per week. I'm getting my sweat on and I'm replenishing my fluids as much as my bladder will allow. I'm lighter on my feet, my overall stiffness is melting away. I've dissolved 12 pounds and am fitting back into my fitted clothes, slowly but surely.

I woke up this morning with a simple thought: In our energy conscious society we pay particular attention to fuel and it's optimal use. We opt for lithium rechargeable batteries for our electronic devices. We want to know that the overpriced gas we're putting in our cars is as pure as possible and not filled with pollutants for the sake of our cars' engines and our wallets. In short, we want the best for our cars, and our grown up toys, so that they perform at their peak as much as possible.

Shouldn't the same apply to us?

For whatever reason we are okay with pumping garbage into ourselves, wallowing in not even mediocre output and feeding our perpetual misery with even more garbage. When something bad happens I automatically begin to think of hamburgers, French fries and milkshakes. My wife and I have a pre-vacation challenge and upon weighing herself this past weekend, she immediately became depressed and proclaimed she wanted a cupcake.

"Don't you think that's counterproductive?" I asked.

She shot me a dirty look.

Let me paint an even clearer picture. We would never knowingly feed our dogs and cats food that would contribute to them becoming overweight or ill. We want our pets to be as healthy and happy as possible for as long as possible. Maybe this is selfishly for ourselves as pet owners, but as the owner of yourself, shouldn't you want the same? Taste buds and endorphin responses aside, garbage in will always give you garbage out, even if you are super active.

For the past few years since my daughter's birth I have been steadfast in being against her eating anything that resembles empty calories, but I've been okay with indulging myself. But today is a new day (and so was yesterday and a few weeks ago). As the owner of myself, I say no to garbage in, garbage out. To be fair, I do give myself one day a week to splurge so I don't go hog wild on unexpected binges. But overall, I want to be happy just like my long-haired dachshund and I want to have optimal performance just like my...well, I can't speak too highly for my piece of crap SUV right now, but I daydream about it having optimal performance.

Take baby steps if you must, but do your best to say no to Garbage In.