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Lest anyone get it twisted, my last post, The Huddle of the Wife And Kids, had little to do with defending my friend and much to do with the overarching consequences of poor choices that no one can forses. Even when they believe they are making those choices for the sakes of the ones they love.

What I learned in the hours following my friend's departure for Kentucky was that the experience was as much for me as it was for him (well maybe a little less). It has sobered me up considerably. Life is too short, and too important and too fun. Not that I didn't know that before, but seeing someone else's quality of life being adversely effected short of death is about as strong as a shot of Wild Turkey.

As the hours passed, the pointlessness (in my mind) of my own situation began to increase as did my seriousness to kill the noise. An unexpected side effect: for the first time in months I was exhausted. Truth be told, I'm always tired, but that has never stopped me from popping up first thing in the morning to hit the bricks and get the day going. Nor has it prevented me from staying up all night sometimes wishing I had some sort of magical ability to hold off tomorrow. But on Thursday, I could barely move. I overslept that morning and then that evening I slept the evening away, waking up well after midnight only to strip out of my clothes, turn over in my bed and go right back to sleep.

On Friday I recovered, but life felt a little different. I wasn't so anxious. I was a little less concerned. What may have mattered a few days ago still did, but my attitude toward it is a little more laid back now. I'm not sure the poison my wife and I have been drinking has dried up, but I know I've lost the desire to take any more nips from that bottle. So for me, now, the bottle is irrelevant.

I sincerely hope this is making sense.

For the time being it seems that I've been purged. Just like the waif model who gets it all out of her system before her shoot or runway walk, all my BS and all the BS surrounding me is swirling around in the toilet. This doesn't mean that life and the consequences of my actions prior will cease to get in the way or simply go away. This doesn't mean my problems are solved. And none of this has gotten me a job, but problems are only as big as you make them out to be, even when they really are big problems. And are they really even problems? Or are they whatever it is you've been calling them? Somehow without seeking or trying, seeing a guy I've known since 18 drive off to his own lockup/lockdown purged me of everything that had me restless, anxious, sighing all the time and walking with my head down.

So for now, I don't have problems. Thank God. I just got stuff to do.

How 'bout you?

Photo Credit: Vardo

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