So it's Saturday and you know you are knee deep in a huge mistake. You were busy all week. I know. I was too. You don't know what to get "for the man who has everything." To which I'm sure he would laugh, or simply not respond at all. Or, maybe you just plain forgot, which I genuinely understand. Father's Day is almost five days early compared to previous years. I was pretty psyched myself when I discovered this last week. This will be the first time my son's birthday, which falls a day or two before or after Father's Day, won't be the factor that typically preempts my ability to singularly enjoy the day. Hopefully, this year, I won't find out there are other factors.

The point remains that you're currently empty-handed and idealess on what to get Dear Old Dad and you actually believe socks, grocery store cologne, shaving cream under $35 and a tie of any price is insulting. And because the day is tomorrow there is no amount of money you can pay Amazon to get a gift to you by Sunday. Fret not! I've got some VERY last minute suggestions for you that won't bust your wallet (or even if they do, it's worth it) and are as far as your local Target and as close as your laptop.

I experienced a couple of snafus in the hours before my recent social media presentation in Las Vegas. One of them came about due to my lack of foresight, but more honestly lack of time, to iron the clothing I planned to wear on that Sunday morning. Instead I rifled through what I could find that didn't look like it had been slept in or simply, not ironed --- one of my favorite shirts and a pair of boot cut jeans I bought this past spring that are typically reserved for my high tops or boots.

Eh, nobody has time for all that, I thought as I forced everything into my bag and packed up all my camera equipment and electronics in order to beat the mandated check-out time of 11 a.m. and start talking at 11 a.m.

My presentation began at 11:20 am and all I wanted to do was sit at the edge of the stage and talk the way a lounge singer does when they get intimate with their crowd. My only problem was that I was in a grand ballroom and although the crowd was intimate they were all sitting comfortably in the back and I would've been out of sight had I sat down on the edge of the stage.

This morning I got on the scale and it registered the number 186.5. That is a solid 10 pounds less than I was when I started back working out at the end of June. I've changed my diet, I've changed my level of activity (outdoor boot camp, biking, swimming and some running) and it in turn has changed my attitude, enhanced my vitality and helped me to calmly navigate through things that normally got me all twisted up in knots. Not to mention, pants that were cutting into my waist, fit once more and the protruding bulge beneath my that had become commonplace in all my shirts is now gone. My only complaint/issue/acknowledgment, etc. is that I am not the young man I once was. Thanks to my 40 year-old willpower I'm working out harder than I ever have. But thanks to my 40 years-old body, recovering from my workouts has become almost as painful as the workouts themselves. C'est la vie.

But I've got 10 more pounds to go. And I'd like to lose them by my birthday, which is exactly 6 weeks away.

And I challenge you to lose them (yours not mine) with me.

A not so Wordless Wednesday post - the Mrs. snapped this pic after I successfully completed 10 miles on my new bike (a Father's Day present).

While the kids are away doing their summer stuff we are back at home getting in shape before they come back and wreck our schedules. My current regimen consists of boot camp 4 days a week, swimming 2 days a week and biking 1-2 days per week. The Mrs. is doing kickboxing and Zumba also. But it's not just what you do to work out I'm rediscovering it also has to do with how you live.

Try a few, if not all of these on for size:

1. Eat plenty of veggies.
2. Lay off the bread, especially white flour bread.
3. Eat fruit (but not too much as sugar is sugar - for example a bushel of grapes might be a lot).
4. Resists sweets (or push them off until the weekends, at the very least).
5. Drink water - hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. How much is enough? I gauge it by 8 cups of water or when I feel full and/or no longer thirst.
6. Be positive, enjoy the sunshine, enjoy the heat, savor A/C, attend festivals, take weekend trips, eat at outdoor spots once the sun goes down.
7. Take the stairs instead of the elevator, not to the 22nd floor of course, but maybe?
8. Play hard and find someone who will hold you accountable for your goals (an accountability partner).
9. Be an example to someone else. Invite them to work out with you. 
10. Have fun with it! It's your life to make it what you will. You don't have to do what anyone else is doing or be like anyone else. Be uniquely and wonderfully you.

Anything you'd like to add to the list above? Please do so in the comments below.

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Thanks for reading! Follow me on Twitter at @EPayneTheDad.

This post is especially meaningful considering that the pastor of the church I attend spoke on this this past weekend.

Now that I am thoroughly settled into my home, thoroughly ingraining myself in my community and doing my best to do my best on my new social media gig at one of the largest companies in the world (no pressure), I have begun to sift and sort through my stuff...

Garbage out...

Once I hit adulthood I began to collect a record of my happenings --- ticket stubs from great concerts, pictures with the handful of famous people I'd bump into on the streets of New York, my documented experiences and paraphernalia from my fraternity, Alpha Phi Alpha, Playbills from famous Broadway plays. My thought behind doing this is that should I suddenly cease to exist on this planet, as is often the case with humans, particularly African American males, those I leave behind would be able to sort through my stuff and piece together the life I've lived --- who I was and where I've been. There are journals that spell out in great detail my goals, aspirations and dreams. In the midst of my stuff anyone looking will find my heart.

At a very critical point in my life I talked too much. But I'm glad I learned during this critical time via critical mistakes. From them I learned not to kiss and tell, not to reveal my dreams until they were close to being realized and most important, be careful who you share your information with, perceived friends may prove to be real foes armed with what you thought were your secrets.

I distinctly remember the day: I was a junior in college, a somewhat new member of my fraternity and there was some event coming up that involved girls. I distinctly remember (to this day) making a comment about not having a date and a frat brother quickly remarking that it was always something with me, some drama, some debacle, some something that always had my name on it. At first I was shocked' then I was upset and attempted to defend myself and then this particular individual began to tell me about all my antics and exploits, not because he had some sort of inside scoop on me but he was repeating the very things I had told him and anyone else who'd listen at the time. I was talking too much. In honesty, how could I be mad at the consequences I created?

Well I was. But I didn't stay mad for long. I got even. But not in the traditional sense of the phrase.

My folks in town for a few days. On Monday I had a rare opportunity to do something wonderful --- decompress. After a very long day on my wonderful new job. The wife and I made plans to fend for ourselves for dinner. She was taking care of the boy. So there I was at a coffee shop in my neighborhood, just me, one other person, the staff and my deliciously warm cup of Joe. No wife, no baby girl (my parents had her) and no son. Pure bliss for nearly 90 minutes before I had to resume my responsibilities as Husband and Dad. Responsibilities I am honored to have.

Everyone needs a break, no matter how short. When's the last time you took one?

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Thanks for reading! To learn more about me, you can read my story.

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A little more than two weeks into forty and so far so good. My bones aren't cracking any more than they were two and a half weeks ago and despite what my son claims I'm no more crotchety or bald than I was the day before I turned the big 4-0. The only adjustment I've made is taking a daily multivitamin - nothing fancy, overpriced or made exclusively for MEN (thanks for the tip, Dr. Oz). If anything I've been losing weight at a rate of about a pound a week with my three times a week jog, a life without French fries (but still filled with milkshakes) and some pushups here and there. My backfat has once again disappeared and I'm looking forward to the day that my cheeks (on my face) begin to slim. As I've aged the only difference I've noticed between the last few years and all the years before then is that although I am able to engage in strenuous activity no different than before my recovery time is taking longer and longer. Pretty soon I'm going to need a charger just like all these devices that surround me.

I rarely talk about my wants or needs to anyone. I got in the habit of maintaining this secrecy while in college. "Better to not talk about what you want and if it doesn't happen no one is the wiser, versus telling everybody your business and being judged if you don't make the mark," one of my fraternity brothers used to tell me constantly until it was permanently hammered into my psyche. So strong has this mantra become that I don't even share my wants with my wife (a no-no). In foresight and hindsight it is a mistake for the simple reason that no one around me is a mind reader. No one can know without me telling them what I want and need. As a result I don't have the right to be mad or sullen when I believe someone is getting in the way of what I want (something I'm good for) when that person doesn't even know what's going on in my head. I do believe this is a me thing. But I'm also inclined to believe it is a Man thing and I definitely believe it is a Dad thing. It's my job to take care of everyone else, or at least seeing to it that everyone else's needs are being met. Although I'm a priority (in my own mind) I don't make myself a priority in the lives of those around me. That's not my job. I'm not their problem. And they in turn have come to believe the same. I have fallen into the ranks of countless men who through lack of communication have become needlessly secretive and a mystery for no reason.

Well thank God for church and people who are smarter and better than me. This past Thursday I watched the Eastern Conference Finals with good friend, Ross Oscar Knight, who in my humble opinion is a master when it comes to self-management, and this past Sunday I went to church where I walked into a sermon called "Eric I'm About To Tell You About Yourself!" ---well not really but it might as well have been called this. I left both experiences thinking differently about myself and what I do to cause the problems that exist in my life.

I have wants and goals but I never make them plain so without further introduction and in no particular order:

As far as what is reasonable this is what swirls around in my head most days but never crosses my lips. Stay tuned, pray for me as I pursue these wants and goals. I'm counting on God for these things but I know He is counting on me to act to make them happen.

If you're a man, dad and husband or just a man and a dad or just a man, and you happen to find yourself in the same predicament, I suggest you find a place to write down your goals also. To get the ball rolling, to get the wheels of change moving, to have something to shoot for.

E.Payne is the author of the soon to be released DAD: As Easy As A, B, C! and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

Last week's insanity and one of the many reasons why I was absent on the blog...

For reasons that don't need to be discussed here I locked myself out of my home for the first time ever! Did I call the locksmith? No. Did I have the good sense to have a spare hidden somewhere? No. Did I make sure a neighbor had a key? No. But I did manage to enlist the help of neighbor, Olympic hurdler, Kim Batten, who suggests I borrow a ladder from someone.

I go from house to house until another neighbor answers and lends me his 12-foot ladder. I go to the back of my 3 story townhome hoping the windows on the back deck are unlocked - they aren't (good job family, seriously). My helper and 911-dialer Kim Batten holds the ladder steady a good five feet beneath the 1st floor deck. I look for a place to grab without getting a fistful of splinters and pull myself up onto the deck using only the deck slats. Then I'm trapped on the deck as everything is locked. But I see that my son's window is open. In a moment of crazed inspiration I instruct my assistant to hoist the ladder up to me. I decide to climb through the 3rd floor window. The only problem: the ladder doesn't reach but I am able to stretch from the top of the ladder (the part where you aren't supposed to stand) to pop the screen out. I drop the screen to the deck beneath me, say a quick prayer and jump to grab hold of the window ledge. Now hanging out of my sons window, legs dangling, more growling than breathing, I center myself, calm down and tell the gods I'm not dying today...

With nothing but my hands and arms I pull myself through my son's open window and pour myself into his room. I stand completely covered with dirt and dust, legs scratched to hell (I was wearing shorts) from dragging myself against the house and swollen as I don't know what from may have been the toughest real-world workout I've ever had in my life. Yeah, I'm one of those dudes who doesn't ask for directions when I'm lost either. Moral of the story: Have a set a spare keys at a neighbor's house (get to know your neighbors) and thank God I've been doing pull-ups for the past month at the gym.

Now everyone has keys to my home and as far as I'm concerned the pull-up is the exercise of the gods.

Bye Bye Backfat!

Photo Credit: United States Marine Corps Official Page

E.Payne is the author of Investing In An Emotional Letdown and DAD: As Easy As A, B, C! (coming soon). For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

At the beginning of the week I wrote about my cousin-in-law's (cousin's) sudden and shocking fall to a Brain Aneurysm. She passed away this past Tuesday surrounded by family. I made a pledge at the end of Monday's post to bring awareness to this often fatal event that most people know very little about.

What Is A Brain Aneurysm?

A brain aneurysm, also referred to as a cerebral aneurysm or intracranial aneurysm (IA), is a weak bulging spot on the wall of a brain artery very much like a thin balloon or weak spot on an inner tube. Over time, the blood flow within the artery pounds against the thinned portion of the wall and aneurysms form silently from wear and tear on the arteries. As the artery wall becomes gradually thinner from the dilation, the blood flow causes the weakened wall to swell outward. This pressure may cause the aneurysm to rupture and allow blood to escape into the space around the brain. A ruptured brain aneurysm commonly requires advanced surgical treatment. (Source)

Warning Signs/Symptoms

Unruptured brain aneurysms are typically completely asymptomatic. These aneurysms are typically small in size, usually less than one half inch in diameter. However, large unruptured aneurysms can occasionally press on the brain or the nerves stemming out of the brain and may result in various neurological symptoms. Any individual experiencing some or all of the following symptoms, regardless of age, should undergo immediate and careful evaluation by a physician.

• Localized Headache
• Dilated pupils
• Blurred or double vision
• Pain above and behind eye
• Weakness and numbness
• Difficulty speaking

Ruptured brain aneurysms usually result in a subarachnoid hemorrhage (SAH), which is defined as bleeding into the subarachnoid space. When blood escapes into the space around the brain, it can cause sudden symptoms.

Seek Medical Attention Immediately If You Are Experiencing Some Or All Of These Symptoms:

• Sudden severe headache, the worst headache of your life
• Loss of consciousness
• Nausea/Vomiting
• Stiff Neck
• Sudden blurred or double vision
• Sudden pain above/behind the eye or difficulty seeing
• Sudden change in mental status/awareness
• Sudden trouble walking or dizziness
• Sudden weakness and numbness
• Sensitivity to light (photophobia)
• Seizure
• Drooping eyelid (Source)

Don't think it can happen to you? Check out these Brain Aneursym Statistics and Facts. Believe it or not, kids can have them too.

What's next if any of the above sounds familiar? Go to your doctor immediately. If you don't have one, then get one. If you currently don't have insurance and are sitting around waiting for the right time or a job to come through, you need to throw your pride in the trash right now and head to your local board of health. Additionally, I was informed by a firefighter friend that you can stop by your local firehouse for a free blood pressure check. They are versed in the symptoms for IA and are equipped to advise you as to whether you should or should not seek advanced medical attention.

To be continued...

E.Payne is the author of DAD: As Easy As A, B, C! and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

After belting out my Super-Dad post a couple weeks ago and watching it make its rounds on the Internet I was made to feel all too human at 6 am on Easter morning. At 6 am we (the wife and I) received the call we didn't want to receive. It was the 2nd call actually. The first happened several hours earlier in the middle of the night to notify us that one of my wife's cousins --- a beautiful, elegant, tall woman of the young age of 50 --- had suffered a brain aneurysm. The 2nd one at 6am was that she was brain dead and on life support.

We both laid there in silence, not sure what to say or do. The suddenness of it all rocked both of us to the core. In the early morning darkness I stared out into the space in front of me and thought nothing, but I did feel just that much more mortal...just a kiss away from the lips of death that can and do come without warning or notice, obliterating in seconds what in most cases takes years to develop and master --- you know, that thing called life?

Right then and there I was "all too human", made of flesh, and more importantly blood --- the life that courses through me pumped by a heart that gets it's electrical kick from who knows where, overseen by a brain that runs the whole human system like a small government, with the only difference being that it works versus what we call government.

My son had a basketball tournament scheduled later that morning that was ultimately canceled. I went to church in my Easter comfortableBest where I listened, sang, clapped and even did a little bit of the sanctified dance in my aisle. Later that evening I barbecued and we had a wonderful dinner out on the back deck of our home. I found myself staring at my family with a new found understanding of them. They are the people in my life and they are to be cherished. I knew this and I know this but yesterday I felt incredibly responsible for them, even my wife. It was almost overwhelming.

I don't fear death, but yesterday it felt much closer to it than I have in a very long time. Death has been a part of my life since the age of 8 when my mother's mother passed away, but death has always been reserved for other people: older people, people on drugs and alcohol, people driving too fast in cars, people drunk in cars, people serving in Iraq. Name the reason and at least there's a reason. But this, similar to the accidental killing of one of my cousins back when we were teenagers hangs inexplicably in the air, just like the notion that life ain't fair.

This week I'm going to do my best via this blog to bring awareness to Brain Aneurysms and help to shed a light on the signs and symptoms leading up to it.

Some of the Easter message from Pastor Olu Brown from Impact Church was that you are to act and know that your time is NOW! To know that nothing in the world, no problem you can come up with, is greater than God. Walk with joy. Forget the place where you've been or even where you are. Conduct yourself as if you are already where you want to be. Time is short. Life is precious.

LIVE.

E.Payne is the author of Investing In An Emotional Letdown and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

I'm the father of a 5 year old daughter who is in serious need of a kill-switch to stop moving and a son who plays football and basketball and runs track and if allowed to would spend all day shooting hoops at the courts. I'm a man who works boxes, jumps rope, lifts weights, does plyometrics and at the very least takes a brisk walk no less than 15 minutes a day 6 days out of the week. And we all eat fruit like it's going out of style. So of course I'm all about First Lady Michelle Obama's initiative to reduce childhood obesity by promoting active lifestyles for children. Children and active. I'm not sure the two terms can even be separate and apart from each other. But sadly, in today's media-rich society 'tis true.

Let’s Move! is a comprehensive initiative, launched by the First Lady, dedicated to solving the problem of obesity within a generation, so that children born today will grow up healthier and able to pursue their dreams.*

Just recently my old flame (in my head), Beyoncé Knowles, joined the initiative. Below is her contribution.



What's up with Beyoncé's face derezzing? Scary, right?

Now check out the full work out with the reworked Move Your Body adapted from her original Get Me Bodied.



Reminds me of a boxing workout, minus all that hip work.

I can definitely see my little one doing this, or just doing her own thing. Whatever the case, the warm weather is here and definitely on it's way to stay, I hope you get your kids off the couch, out from in front of the television or video games. Get them outdoors and get them moving their bodies like we did back in the day on the playgrounds before playgrounds became places no one wanted their kids to be.

To learn more visit the Let's Move website.*

E.Payne is the author of Investing In An Emotional Letdown and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

Garbage in, garbage out...

Garbage out, period.



Yup, folks, the above pic is me in the fall of 2010 after boxing away the backfat. Over the course of the spring and summer of 2010 I dropped weight from a whopping 205 pounds to approximately 180 missing my goal of 173 by a mere 7 pounds. I turned back the hands of time. I became a semi-lean, not-too-mean fighting machine.

And then I packed up my life and moved to Atlanta.

Dealing with a new environment, combating a very rough patch with the wife, and entering a highly unwelcoming job market all spelled one thing: eating comfort food. Hamburgers, more hamburgers, french fries, milkshakes with every meal, BIG breakfasts, home made lemonade and sweet tea, strawberry cheesequake blizzards (concrete heaven in a cup) from Dairy Queen, ribs, lemon pepper chicken wings, atomic chicken wings, fish tacos (these are actually healthy), and more french fries. Not to mention until I get a bike, I have to drive everywhere as nothing is walkable except the business district.

The food was good and the associated bloating, feeling terrible and lethargic was just all apart of the joy of food. In January I began working out with one of my neighbors, a former Olympian. It was then that I mounted a scale and discovered the ugly truth. In four months time I had gained back nearly all the weight I spent boxing. She assured me I'd lose it all and then some.

What did I think was going to happen? I'm not twenty anymore. In fact, I'll be forty in the fall. I was pretty depressed the day I got this news. So depressed that after working out, I pulled into a McDonald's drive-thru and ordered a Quarter Pounder without cheese (it was without cheese).

Then in March I went away to the Disney Dreamers Academy and was bombarded with so much "cruise ship food" that I had to draw the line somewhere. I began guzzling water like your average everyday dog and cat does. Something strange began to happen. I began to naturally clean out, detox, whatever you want to call it. I returned to Atlanta, vowing not to touch any drink with sugar in it any time soon. I took it a step further and swore myself off the stuff for lent, overlooking that my beloved coffee falls into the category of sugary drinks based on the way I like to drink my coffee. Not drinking fruit punch and sweet tea is easy, but coffee?! But 6 weeks in I'm doing fine. In addition to the sugary drinks, I've cut out white flour bread, and my other most beloved: french fries. Do I miss it? Yes. Am I tempted? Often. Do I miss being bloated and feeling heavy? Not at all. I'll take feeling and looking better over tasting and drinking heavenly creations, only to spend the rest of the day farting and belching, any day of the week.

I've managed to lose 7 pounds pretty effortlessly and last week I joined a gym not to far from my home that by New York standards would be completely unaffordable. But down here it's $29 bucks a month. I'm there 4 days a week for no less than 2 hours at a time, working out like I'm in a movie, trying to win the big game and the girl.

Garbage out! This is the remixed reboot of Bye, Bye Backfat. If you haven't heard the hit song that goes along with this blog series of mine you'll have to watch the videos. It all feels nice and natural. I'm getting my house in order --- my temple (my body), my actual domicile, my kids activities and my finances. It's all apart of the plan for healthy, holistic, rich and happy living.

Backfat begone! Garbage begone! Welcome healthy, wealthy, happy life!


E.Payne is the author of Investing In An Emotional Letdown and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

Here's a question for you to answer in the comments:

What's most important to you?

1. A healthy diet?
2. A healthy attitude?
3. A dedicated workout routine?
4. Some combination of all of the above.
   

Please think about it and leave your answer in the comments section beneath this post.

Thanks!

E.Payne is the author of Investing In An Emotional Letdown and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

A Guest Post by Renee Ross

In November 2009 I decided to finally stick to my guns and begin a journey to healthy living. It wasn’t my first attempt, I’d tried two other times in very public ways during that year but was unsuccessful. However, given the alarming statistics regarding African-American women, obesity and the subsequent repercussions on our health I could not continue to be a statistic. My entire family has a history of hypertension and my aunt was diagnosed as pre-diabetic. in November 2009 I weighed in at over 200 pounds on was on the fast track to health problems.

The week of Thanksgiving I embarked on the journey to healthy living and seven months later I’d lost 50 pounds, ran my first 5K and was prepping for a half-marathon. Although I’ve always known the tools for healthy living - my emotional state prohibited me from making the best decisions for my health. My decision to live healthy, hopefully prolonging my life and stay around for my son is one that I don’t regret.

I will not lie and say it has been easy. Like everyone battling the bulge I have good days and bad days. Sometimes I ease back into old habits like emotional eating. Other times I just don’t feel in the mood to exercise but the difference between now and years ago is that I don’t let myself completely give up. I recognize that tomorrow is another day and even if I gain a few pounds I have the tools in my toolbox to get rid of them before it becomes problematic.

I will say here and now that I will never be obese again. I will be fit and healthy and I will work on it daily. Although being healthy is challenging I am committed to living a long life. In October I ran the Nike Women’s Half-Marathon and raised over $5000 for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. On Sunday, February 27th on the day after my 41st birthday I ran my 2nd half-marathon, the Disney Princess, and it was totally and completely for me. Although I was not as prepared as I was for my first endurance race I remained committed to my goal and completed it with a smile.

This Princess has plans to stay around for many years to come. If you need encouragement on your journey to healthy living you can certainly visit me at my blog, on facebook, twitter and YouTube. Inspiring others inspires me and I love hearing success stories!

Renée is the author of Cutie Booty Cakes where she blogs about her life as healthy and fit mom. She is a contributing editor for BlogHer.com and has appeared in The Atlanta Constitution Journal, Parents Magazine, Southern Living, The Victory Project on MSN and has been seen on National and local television. In a nutshell, she is one busy lady!

The New York City Department of Heath and Mental Hygiene sent me the following infographic showcasing the landscape of HIV/AIDS among women and girls in New York City. This coincides with today's March 10 observance of National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day.

According to the infographic an estimated 31,663 women aged 13 or older were living with HIV/AIDS at the end of 2009.

In 1985 only 290 New York City women were living with AIDS in 1985. Over a 14-year period this number rose to 19,156 in 2009.

Probably the most staggering of the several statistics illustrated is the following: Black and Latina Women account for 60.2% of the NYC female population but they make up 90.7% of women living with HIV/AIDS in NYC as of 2009.

(Click for the full version)



Let's get the conversation going with our kids. You know the one...about sex. We need to have "the talk" with our girls and our boys. As difficult as it may be, not doing as you can see is creating tragic results on the epidemic level.

NYC Knows is a public initiative carried out by the New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene. The program aims to increase HIV and AIDS awareness by promoting free testing facilities, treatment centers and prevention education. The ultimate goal of the NYC Knows program is to have every citizen of New York City knowing his or her HIV status. For more information or to become active in the initiatives check out Facebook.com/NYCKnows or NYC.gov.

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E.Payne is the author of Investing In An Emotional Letdown and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

Besides traveling, dreading the sight of "that cousin" or "Aunt So & So" and going hog wild in the kitchen, Thanksgiving is an opportunity to reflect on everything that you are thankful and grateful for.

...and everything that you are not. Sometimes it's good to be thankful for things you don't have, like that woman/man who turned out to be a psychopath, that house you couldn't afford last year that is only worth half it's value now, or a sickness/disease that you've overcome.

Many of us walk around thinking how bad we have it. But best believe someone might just be a little worse off than you. Some people aren't even here to celebrate the season.

From the House of Payne to your house, be well, be blessed, be thankful whatever your circumstances may be and be easy on the pies.


Have You Subscribed Yet? * Are You On Facebook? * Do You Tweet?

My quest to fend off aging and stay healthy is never-ending. Part of this is getting a good night's rest. I have been trying for nearly two years to get in a routine of going to bed at a reasonable time so I can get my 6 - 8 hours of sleep in.

I haven't been very successful.

I pick up the effort every few months, most recently, this month. I've set my knockout for the night time at 11pm (ish) give or take a few minutes to make sure my teen isn't goofing off in his room instead of sleeping.

Lately there's been a new threat to getting a solid night's sleep and it isn't either of the kids. It is the wife.

On Tuesday morning after staying up until 2 am to study, my wife bursts into our bedroom and addresses me with a military man's sternness:

"Eric! I don't know where my phone is."

I don't know who I am or where I am. I look at her like she's a loaf of bread.

She repeats herself, louder this time and I recognize where I am, who I am and who this is that's speaking to me. Now that I'm awake, why is the biggest question on my mind.

"Your phone?" I ask, incredulously.

She explains to me that she doesn't know where I put it and she needs to set her alarm to get up in the morning. I remind her that I gave it to her just in case she needed it while she was studying. She claims no recollection of this. I stare out into the darkness, jump out of bed, march down our new set of stairs, stomp through the living room to the exact spot where she was sitting and find the phone sitting right next to the laptop she was using to study. I retrace the path I took, stomping the entire way, knowing I wasn't going to get anything close to an apology, grumbling loudly to myself and hand her the phone. She could have used my phone (which was right next to my sleeping body) or the house phone to call the phone to locate it.

"It was right next to your laptop on the couch!"

"Why are you yelling?!" she asks, yelling back at me. "I didn't know it was there!"

What I didn't know was why she didn't look. Now the issue was no longer that I had been awakened for no reason at all. I wasn't awakened for late night kisses or an "I love you," I couldn't refuse. It was for a phone that had been beside her. The issue now was that I was yelling in the middle of the night and have a bad attitude when I wake up.

But I didn't wake up. I was snatched from sleep. And I stayed awake for another 2 hours trying to go back there.

On Wednesday morning, (the very next day, Wednesday) at 4 am, my wife bursts into our bedroom having spent most of the night asleep in our daughter's room. It happens when we read her bedtime stories. I hope we're not the only ones.

"Eric, why are all the lights on in the house?!"

"Uhhhh...." is all I can manage.

Slowly as I came to myself and realized once again, who I was, where I was, and when I was, the question again arose, why in the hamfat am I being awakened for no reason at all?

Immediately, I was interrogated as to why all the lights were left on downstairs. When it comes to wasting anything in our house there's only one culprit --- my son.

"You know I didn't do that," I say. "I don't understand, if you saw the lights on, then why didn't you just turn them off?"

"I did but it was jarring to see lights on downstairs with all the lights off upstairs."

"The alarm is on," I interject.

"I didn't know that. I mean did you go to sleep before him [our son] and just leave him up to his own devices?"

Yes, he had a party with the bottle of Patron and Mount Gay in the cabinet, is what I wanted to say. "Uhm, no..." I said too tired to be angry, "I was the last one asleep but he went back downstairs to get some water. I don't believe our electric bill is going to hit the roof over four extra hours of lighting in two rooms. Seriously."

Whatever else was said didn't matter. Again there was no apology. The comforter was snatched off of me as she got comfortable. Then the pillow I was lying on was yanked out from underneath my head.

"Are you kidding me?" I asked, stupified beyond stupification.

"Oh, you were using that?" she asked back. "Sorry." She pushed the pillow into my face, turned over and went to sleep. And men are the bad guys, I said in my head.

By the time I got comfortable again my daughter began to sneeze in her sleep until she was awake. I got up, checked on her and eventually managed to get some shut eye forty-five minutes before my alarm went off.

Love is...

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