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On the Couch

I have a confession to make: I spend more time on the couch than I'd like to.

Not because I'm in the midst of some narcoleptic fit, but because that's where I'd rather be after a rough evening with the wife.

I don't mind it too much. On principle I do because the actual bed we have was mine before we got married. We haven't picked out "our" bed yet as this is supposed to be one of those first items for our new house. Otherwise, being on the couch means I get to watch television as I drift off to sleep (there are no televisions in the bedrooms) and spread out without getting in anyone's way. But the couch is obviously a lot narrower than a mattress. And because I'm an early riser, my kids are never aware that I've been in the living room until dawn.

The tragedy of this lies in the fact that my being on the couch (something my wife actually hates) means my wife and I blew it for the night. Sometimes I am the cause of this more than she is and sometimes it's the other way around. But in the end, we collectively failed.

We failed by going down and staying on the road that led me to the couch. We failed by being so wrapped up in the nonsense that somehow it was okay for me to spend the night in the living room alone and vice versa. We failed to resolve whatever it was/is, meaning one or both of us went to bed angry. This is something my mother raised me not to do, something my pastor implored us (his congregation) not to do, but sadly, something I've done since being married. And to get biblical, the bible says to not allow the sun to set on your anger. No good can come of unresolved issues that are allowed to fester and be slept on. They typically rise with you in the morning, strong and refreshed, ready for a new day, just like you. Or they keep you paralyzed, stuck in bed, not wanting to face them.

So what do you do? Do you stay up all night long playing an angry game of tennis so in the morning you're dead tired, but in a better place? Or do you opt to not be bothered with the foolishness, leave a bad situation where it is, right in the middle of the floor, and get a good night's rest so that you're right back in the same place again and again and again?

Personally, I prefer tennis. But I know at times it's best to leave well enough alone.

Everything I write here can't all be good, or funny or proverbial. By no means am I a pillar of relationships, romance or husbandry. I'm just a guy foolish enough to blog about it daily.

By the way, that is not a picture of my couch at the beginning of this post. I wish it was along with the room where it sits. This is the source for the pic.

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