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Healthy Marriage: 4 Things To Consider and Do

Let's face facts, love is a mystery. Especially in today's times. It is as elusive as the cat burglar that cleans out a jewelry store without anyone noticing (dating myself here as I think about the Pink Panther movies of yesteryear).

But here's the thing, love is elusive because we allow it to be. We are distracted by EVERYTHING, including the actions of the one we claim to love. Oftentimes we allow our spouse's/lover's isms and bad days to dictate who we are and how we opt to act toward them.

But being with someone, loving them is a choice, something that other person, by virtue of the definition of love (a different post for a different time), shouldn't be able to control. So for example, most parents choose to love their children no matter what they do because they love that person so much their actions can't prevent them from loving them. And a parent hopes that through love, a child will grow, excel, flourish. The notion that the "ownership" of a child that comes with parenthood is the driver for this kind of love (unconditional) may be true, but the fact remains, most parents no matter how burned up they are by their child's actions, choose to love them anyway. That choice is so natural, so automatic most don't even realize they are in fact choosing and not "feeling" love. Here are 4 simple steps you can take to inject a healthy dose of lovingness into your marriage:

  1. Kindness is free. Don't use it sparingly. Share it as much as you can.

  2. The little things matter. Make them count.

  3. Don't follow your heart. Lead it. In other words Stop acting out of anger, worry or fear. Stop letting bad days dictate who you are to the ones you love. If something is going wrong then roll up your sleeves and do your part to make it right. Bring your greatness to every situation. Don't let anyone or anything prevent you from being your authentic you.

  4. Give the one you love a big hug, look them in the eye, tell them to have a GREAT day and smile, even if they seem a bit put off or don't reciprocate. Their day will be so much better for it. What's in it for you? You might be asking yourself, well good karma begets good karma. Maybe not today, or even tomorrow. But it will happen. It's inevitable.

By no means will following these 4 steps alone create the perfect marriage. But,  if you aren't already doing this, they will begin to prime your mindset toward having a better marriage. One in which you value your partner and are less fazed by the little things that come between you that ultimately don't matter.

Spread love.

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