Now that we're in the new year I've got a bunch of stuff to do. Just like I did last week. These aren't resolutions, which are declarative statements with no determined strategy toward achieving them, such as "I want to lose fifteen pounds." But rather something along the lines of, "I want to start saving for a bike and start mapping out routes so when I buy one I'll actually have somewhere to go." From there the assertion can be made: "I'd like to lose 20 pounds." Because by then if you don't have a set strategy you'll definitely have a framework for one.

Saying, "In 2012 I plan to travel more with the family," when you might not travel at all is a promise you shouldn't make out loud because Lord forbid the wife or any of your kids hear it, they'll be standing there with their arms folded in December looking at you because you took them no where. Instead consider, "I need to set up a separate/savings account for travel and in order to travel by (date of your choosing) I need to put $x in it per week or month."

Thus you will quickly move from the fantasy of the New Year's resolution and into the reality of laid out plans to achieve goals. Mind you they don't have to be perfect and in the end they might look different than you envisioned but at least you're moving...forward.

I intend to do more and be more in 2012. 2011 was a runaway train wreck for most, including my own family. But while most were lamenting I was bucking the system, quietly looking for holes of opportunity in the midst of all the impossibility. Smiling when most days I wanted to scream and working each day seeking out opportunity in a wasteland just as Wall-E worked each day turning trash into treasure (yeah, I referenced a Disney movie. This is a dad blog, right?) I even poked holes of opportunity when and if necessary. As a result I'm now ready to put rubber to the road and put everyone in my rear view mirror who isn't moving forward with me.

But I am only human and I am a father of two kids. I'm juggling new career opportunities, a need to upgrade nearly every piece of technology I own and maintaining a marriage and trying to have a lifestyle all at the same time. In years past I was getting a whole lot of a little done. Now thanks to smartphone technology, great productivity apps such as Evernote (they are not paying me, but I just really like them a whole lot), file sharing and reminders I might be able to get things done and still enjoy life.

Here is what I'd like to do in 2012:

• Relearn Spanish
• Relearn Piano or learn a new instrument
• Gain a solid understanding of the teachings of the Bible
• Take my wife on a few weekend trips
• Take my daughter to Disney World
• Take my son on a college tour
• Become a paid speaker
• Lose close to 20 pounds (again) mostly through bike riding because my knees hurt when I run (an always have)
• Go to the doctor and the dentist (a freelancer's longtime dream)
• Host a few showings of my photography where I hope to sell some if not all the pieces
• Begin the novel that's been on my heart all my life
• Write a children's book

...to name a few.

But my new growing To Do List doesn't look anything close to the above list. Instead is a list of plays and strategies which will hopefully result or provide the means for me to accomplish the above.

What will your To Do List look like in 2012?

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I rarely talk about my wants or needs to anyone. I got in the habit of maintaining this secrecy while in college. "Better to not talk about what you want and if it doesn't happen no one is the wiser, versus telling everybody your business and being judged if you don't make the mark," one of my fraternity brothers used to tell me constantly until it was permanently hammered into my psyche. So strong has this mantra become that I don't even share my wants with my wife (a no-no). In foresight and hindsight it is a mistake for the simple reason that no one around me is a mind reader. No one can know without me telling them what I want and need. As a result I don't have the right to be mad or sullen when I believe someone is getting in the way of what I want (something I'm good for) when that person doesn't even know what's going on in my head. I do believe this is a me thing. But I'm also inclined to believe it is a Man thing and I definitely believe it is a Dad thing. It's my job to take care of everyone else, or at least seeing to it that everyone else's needs are being met. Although I'm a priority (in my own mind) I don't make myself a priority in the lives of those around me. That's not my job. I'm not their problem. And they in turn have come to believe the same. I have fallen into the ranks of countless men who through lack of communication have become needlessly secretive and a mystery for no reason.

Well thank God for church and people who are smarter and better than me. This past Thursday I watched the Eastern Conference Finals with good friend, Ross Oscar Knight, who in my humble opinion is a master when it comes to self-management, and this past Sunday I went to church where I walked into a sermon called "Eric I'm About To Tell You About Yourself!" ---well not really but it might as well have been called this. I left both experiences thinking differently about myself and what I do to cause the problems that exist in my life.

I have wants and goals but I never make them plain so without further introduction and in no particular order:

As far as what is reasonable this is what swirls around in my head most days but never crosses my lips. Stay tuned, pray for me as I pursue these wants and goals. I'm counting on God for these things but I know He is counting on me to act to make them happen.

If you're a man, dad and husband or just a man and a dad or just a man, and you happen to find yourself in the same predicament, I suggest you find a place to write down your goals also. To get the ball rolling, to get the wheels of change moving, to have something to shoot for.

E.Payne is the author of the soon to be released DAD: As Easy As A, B, C! and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.