After Wednesday's snow incident in Atlanta and the subsequent PR-disaster-taking-it-personal-tone-deaf responses (Note: for me it wasn't about their level of fault in the matter, but rather their lack of grace under fire) of the elected and appointed officials I was reminded of the following, leaders are supposed to serve - behind the scenes and in front of the hot lights.

I'm a servant of my family - my kids and my wife. I'm a servant of my community, my daughter's school, my boss and even my coworkers. I do my best to conduct myself with a humility and open hand that I've seen open far many more doors than my closed fist used to.

In 2014, take up the path of being a servant-leader.

photo credit: hectorir via photopin cc

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"I wonder how the groom feels right now...?" asked no one ever at a wedding. These days men are opening up about their marriages like never before. But the actual wedding day is something entirely different and something where I'd argue a man is ultimately more, prop than person in the fantastic day designed and built for brides. A man's point of view on his Big Day is rarely a consideration, but men actually do have a role in the whole experience and the perspective to match. Check out this slick book trailer for Ross Oscar Knight's recent release, In His Moment.



From the author: 
In His Moment is a must read book for men and women before getting married. During a wedding, a groom's thoughts and words can easily surrender to the commotion around him, often going unnoticed. In his first book, Ross Oscar Knight explores the stories behind some of his most memorable images of men. Order your copy here.

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You, the readers, mean everything to me. I've blogged for so long being transparent isn't difficult for me. What's been challenging is being this far along in the game (6 years) writing meaningful content as a one-man show with a full-time job. There are times when I simply want to drop it and let it fade off into obscurity for a variety of reasons. But then I sit down to write and remember the times at the many coffee shops when I was baring my soul not knowing who was "listening" and if what I was saying mattered. And I kept on writing anyway. The following are the Top Ten Posts of 2013 that mattered the most to you this year. Thank You for reading, sharing, and commenting. I hope to be able to continue creating meaningful ideas, stories and so on, in 2014 for you, the readers.

The Top Ten Posts Written in 2013 at MakesMeWannaHoller.com (based on reader views):

10. The Power of Dad http://epayne.me/VQrWno

9. How To Restore Yourself in 2013: 7 Principles of Self-Restoration http://epayne.me/10JOz32

8. Parents Make The Difference http://epayne.me/18SkKu8

7. Parenting And Fatherhood: Let's Reclaim Our Kids http://epayne.me/12tZdq6

6. Healthy Marriage: 4 Things To Consider And Do http://epayne.me/18CYeMm

5. From Shoeless To College Freshman: My Son http://epayne.me/13Ri1jR

4. 2 Questions To Ask To Introduce Your Kids To Gratitude http://epayne.me/HeRQid

3. How To Be A Man, Dad & Husband In A World Gone Mad http://epayne.me/1desbDL

2. Where's Mommy? http://epayne.me/177km0Z

1. The Reward For A Simple Act Of Kindness http://epayne.me/1fxC51B

If there's a post you really liked and it isn't on the list, please let me know here in the comments.

Peace,
E.Payne

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I love my mother with all my heart and soul, but over the years I was the recipient of some very unrequested Christmas gifts. If the goal was to break me of my belief in Santa Claus, "Mission accomplished, Mom!"

My most painful and glaring memory:

One Christmas, the ONLY thing I wanted a TCR Racing Set, lovingly referred to as, "TOTAL CONTROL RACING!" (you had to say it in the announcer's voice from the television commercial). I drooled over the commercials and daydreamed of being a race car driver whenever I saw the box in store. No different than a little kid who daydreamed of being Davey Crockett with his bb gun in A Christmas Story. 

What did I get? Some battery operated nonsense with miserable little cars that didn't stay on the track, then died after two laps, and some wool pants and sweaters. 

Why did I get it? The only reason I know is because someone (my mother) loudly lamented that they waited until CHRISTMAS EVE TO BUY THE MOST POPULAR RACING SET KNOWN TO HUMANKIND. (But wait, I thought Santa gave gifts?)

Clearly I'm still scarred by this specific incident although age and time has taught me my attitude around the whole thing was pretty lousy. I didn't have to get anything, right?

At the time, I honestly would've preferred nothing.

My father wasn't much better. We didn't have a chimney on our house, at least not one a human of any size could enter. So instead of simply suggesting that Santa somehow had magical access to the front door of our home, my father said he came through the vents. Keep in mind, most residential vent registers aren't even the size of an 8.5" x 11" sheet of paper.

WHAT?!!

What I've learned from this particular incident is that it may not be wise to be hard at work on your Ph.D. while your child still has an imagination. Because clearly, this man's focus was elsewhere.

There was no way a jolly, white-bearded man (refashioned and popularized by Coca-Cola) who gifted seemingly everyone with what they wanted could be real based on how catastrophically unread my Christmas lists went. One last thing: running through the house first thing in the morning with presents crackling the whole way down the stairs when you should be well aware of the fact that your kid is barely sleeping just killed the idea that Santa was real and alerted me to the notion that shopping strategically or for kids just isn't something in my either of my parents' skill set.

In honor of their Last-Minute, Down-To-The-Wire shopping I humbly present my Last-Minute, Down-To-The-Wire holiday gift guide for the man in your life:

1. Sonos. Hi-Fidelity sound system at it's finest that runs off your home Wi-Fi and that you control from your phone, tablet or desktop. If you recall, I tested one (twice) earlier in the year. The tester passed with flying colors and I have one of these guys permanently in my house along with some new Play:1 speakers that I'm currently testing (and not being paid to test). Music just flows and flows through my house. Different songs for different rooms, just like in this video:




And here's the thing: I believe that Sonos has something priced for everyone. But because it doesn't have the household name recognition as say, a TCR racing set, you can still pick one up today from Best Buy or Target. If you bring one of these babies home (be sure to purchase a BRIDGE to go along with it - the Bridge is the component that truly makes the speaker(s) work in conjunction with one another) your man will be overjoyed on Christmas morning.

2. (Power) Tools. Every man isn't handy but things happen around the house and every man will at some point want to be able to go into a draw and find something that will get the job done in five minutes or less (especially on a Sunday when repairmen are off). Stores like Target and Walmart cater to your weekend/emergency home project guy. The guy who doesn't care what it is but just needs to get the job done. For the guy who does know what he's doing and has an affinity for tools: I won't call out any names so as to not insult any brands, but you will insult your man if you come home with anything black and orange unless it's a power screwdriver for you to use around the house, which ultimately isn't a gift for him. Check out Lowes and Home Depot, particularly their impulse areas. A lot of higher end brands are slashing their $200+ products down into $99.99 to $150 range to clear out inventory for 2014. And if you're getting a power tool be sure to get an extra battery of the same voltage. Your man will give you props for setting him up to be able to use his gift long after the product and associated battery is rendered obsolete by the brand.

3. Liquor. That's right I said it. LIQUOR. For the man that imbibes this will be honored more than a tie or fancy shaving cream will. We know we are hard to shop for. And we know we are last on the list. The key is finding something he normally wouldn't (not couldn't) get for himself. This means staying completely clear of the grooming aisle of any convenience store. What's his favorite beer, rum, scotch, vodka or wine. A week before New Year's Eve, liquor and package stores are stocked full of high end spirits. Steer clear of the gift sets that offer velvet bags, pretty shot glasses and a somewhat smallish bottle of alcohol. Look for your man's favorite brand to be boxed and placed on a rather high shelf (thus the term, "top shelf") if he's worth it and if you know you're worth it to him, then I say go for it. It will be the gift that keeps on giving, through moderation of course that he will only pull out for special occasions that will hopefully be shared with you.

So you've read my list and maybe checked it twice. Hopefully the ideas are now flowing. Now, go! You've only got a few hours before stores close.

Merry Christmas!


photo credit: unloveablesteve via photopin cc

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As the credits rolled after taking my wife (then girlfriend) to see the original Anchorman, she looked at me as if I were completely insane.

I thought the movie was great as I have an immense appreciation for the ridiculous.

They've decided to make a sequel - which I'm sure most of the world knows, thanks to a frighteningly strong marketing effort that has Will Ferrell in character as Ron Burgundy infiltrating nearly every information medium available to man:





Maybe, I'll see you in the theater when I go to watch it opening day, December 18th.

Hopefully, this time around, my wife will join me.

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As the temperatures cool I start to looking forward to more hearty "warming" dishes. My favorite this year is what my partner and I have dubbed, Chicken Pot -- or the most delicious, One-Pot braised chicken dish that you will enjoy this Fall. Check out the recipe below...

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit
• Season chicken with White Spice
• Add a few swirls of Garlic Oil to your Dutch oven or braising pot and bring to a high heat
• Brown all your chicken pieces on both sides. Remove and place to the side.
• Add additional Garlic oil to your pot, add onions and carrots-- allow to cook until fragrant
• Add potatoes and mushrooms to the pot, mix well and season lightly with White spice, Thyme and Parsley.
• Add the chicken back to the pot along with the bay leaf and cover with Chicken stock.
• Cover your pot and place in the oven for 30-45 minutes or until vegetables are tender and stock has cooked down significantly.
• Taste stock and season with White Spice again if necessary and remove the bay leaf
• Enjoy over rice or quinoa.
  
  
  
  

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When my daughter was five years old she plunged herself into a pool at a friend’s birthday party and sank like a stone to the bottom of the pool. She did so under the premise she could swim. Thankfully there was a man there who didn’t hesitate, to even take off his shoes and dove in after her. When I picked her up from the party she was happy to have spent the time there but visibly shaken. Although she had already taken a handful of lessons, I decided it was time for her to get full blown training. No one, especially a child, should live in fear of something they are able to navigate.

Not even twelve months later she was diving off the high dive, tucking her little knees into her chest and swimming back to the surface to do it all over again.

The first time my daughter went roller skating with her mother, she was unsure of herself and stuck close to her side. It only took her a couple hours of intense determination and absolutely refusing to leave the floor. She’s been skating effortlessly ever since. She had a similar experience when learning how to ice skate. Daddy is still making the highlight reels of people’s memories based on the spectacular falls I experience on skates of any kind. She climbs just as high as they do on the playground. She is as fast as any boy in her class. And the instant some little boy tries to tell her what she can’t do she looks them dead in the eye and tells them she can do anything she wants to do.

One day she saw me skipping rope the way the boxers and she asked me how I was able to move the rope so effortlessly and quickly. Truth is, it takes plenty of effort and I told her so. She began attempting to mimic me with her smaller rope and didn’t fare as well. This time around she didn’t pick it up as quickly as she does everything else. She got frustrated and threw the rope down. I stopped her as she tried to skulk off and let her in on a little secret.

“Guess who taught me how to skip rope?”

“Who?” she asked, looking at her feet.

“A female boxer … a girl … someone who is way stronger than me.”

She looked up at me with wonder in her face. “Really?!”

I told her women are just as capable at men at the things they do, if they set out to do them. And the mantra in our house is that the only thing we can’t do is fly without the assistance of an airplane or glider. And in time not only can she skip rope like me, she can also cross it while jumping - something I cannot do.

Although my daughter has played many sports she has yet to express an interest in competing at an organized level. Should she ever go down this path I have no doubt that nothing will prevent her from being competitive, especially the notion that “girls don’t belong here.” I fully expect her to Play Like A Girl.





Verizon FiOS gives your family the connection and speed you need to play with the big boys. Share your proudest moment of your daughter’s athletic achievements at www.verizon.com/playlikeagirl. You could be chosen to win a grand prize valued at $5,000! You'll be able to capture plenty of memories with that!

This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Verizon.  The opinions and text are all mine.

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