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Why The Mirror Might Tell You What's Wrong In Your Marriage

Over at Black And Married With Kids.com I authored the post 10 Things Wrong With You - In Your Marriage. In it I translate the leadership strategies of author Marshall Goldsmith to the marriage relationship and raise the notion that being good at what you do doesn't preclude being good at who you are...

In December of 2010 I wrote the post Why Can’t We Just Get Along. It was an open letter to all. A lamentation over the friction that exists between the sexes and within marriages. Hopefully those who were impacted by it were able to contemplate areas that they need to address. But it should not remain a mere contemplation.

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There is a business book that challenges successful leaders to become even more successful. The author, Marshall Goldsmith, wants to make his readers better. His main premise is in the title. My interpretation of it is as follows: You’ve gotten to where you are and that’s great. You’re a titan of the industry, but are you really as great as you think you are? Things have remained pretty steady for a while and they’re headed toward becoming stagnant. Your workers are uneasy. Morale is low. Although you are THE MAN (or THE WOMAN) nothing is changing. Why? Because what got you to this point isn’t going to take you to the finish line.

The same can be said for marriage. It is a corporate and cooperative experience, after all.

What’s Wrong With You?

In his book, Goldsmith identifies 20 bad habits that keep people from achieving real success in the workplace. Interestingly they are all interpersonal and behavioral rather than shortcomings in the area of skill or performance. In his words:

“They are egregious everyday annoyances that make your workplace substantial more noxious than it needs to be. They are transactional flaws performed by one person against others.”

Out of the 20 he lists, I’ve identified a “Top Ten” that play out in the marriage space.

To learn these Top Ten Bad Habits and read the rest of the article, visit 10 Things Wrong With You - In Your Marriage.

E.Payne is the author of Investing In An Emotional Letdown and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

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