If you are in the care of a teen, sexting may not be a part of your conversation with them. But best believe, they've had a conversation about it, at least once, with someone else. Here is an infographic from www.uKnowKids.com that presents some pretty hard facts that will bring the subject home for you:

Click Image, Then Zoom For Full Size

Yesterday I stumbled across an open letter from a father of a 3-year old girl to Victoria's Secret addressing their launch of a line of underwear for young teen girls. Technology is one thing. Soda, cigarettes and fast food is another. They all can and should be debated, but underwear (lingerie)? You can see the product line here. You decide if you want your daughter wearing these and/or you want some boy or your own boy knowing a girl is wearing these.

To be frank, can't our kids age and struggle and try to get into trouble on their own without the aid and augmentation of retail enterprise? Should a line be drawn? When is enough enough? When do we stop the enterprises that see our kids as nothing more than the next sales crop? Do we write letters, argue with each other on social media or do we simply stop endorsing what we don't support by sternly choosing not to purchase?

Actor-comedian Anthony Anderson, co-star of NBC’s Guys With Kids, hosts the 34th annual UNCF An Evening of Stars® Educating our Future Presented by Target. The show premieres nationwide on Saturday, January 26 (check local listings for stations and times) and airs on BET Networks on Sunday, January 27, 2013 at 10:00 p.m. EST. The nationally televised variety show focuses public attention on America’s need for more African American college graduates and UNCF’s work getting students to and through college.

The show features Grammy-Award winner and founder of the New Look Foundation, Usher Raymond, presenting a four-year college scholarship to Milwaukee, Wisconsin high school senior, Ammon Lyle. Additionally, superstars Steve Harvey, Kevin Hart and Chaka Khan will present scholarships to deserving college and college-bound students.

The national audience will be electrified by performances and appearances by some of the hottest names in entertainment including Chaka Khan, Yolanda Adams, Charlie Wilson, Keyshia Cole, Trey Songz, Tyrese Gibson, Melanie Fiona, Eric Benet, Tracee Ellis Ross, Keenan Ivory Wayans and many more.

To learn more click on the ad at the top of the sidebar or visit UNCF An Evening of Stars on Facebook.

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It launched a thousand ships (not hardly).

It saved us of all our sins (not even close).

It turned all to stone who gazed upon it (uh...this isn't Greek mythology).

But what this is is the look that all parents have given their child at least a dozen times. Even more if they are teens.

I often find myself frustrated with the glaring deficiencies in my teen son's ability to communicate --- what he's saying, what he means, where he is physically at. He says he'll be somewhere when he needs to be picked up but without being a psychic I know beforehand once I arrive he'll be somewhere else, or just not outside waiting for me. His plans with his friends are erratic and sometimes elaborate, constantly changing cluster-you-know-whats. We often play "Who's On First" because he claims he told me something I never heard him utter once. I often find him unaware of things that need to be done because he claims he never got that pertinent voice mail I left or text I sent. Lately, my mustache and goatee has been getting grayer and grayer.

But when I sit down and think about it long enough I really can't blame him. It's the thing that can't be pried from his hand that's mostly to blame for his, mine and nearly everyone else's often nonsensical way of communicating.

The technology of communication --- the very lifeblood that drives this blog --- the thing that came to make communication and connectivity easier, in the ever evolving ecosystem of communications and Social has created massive holes in effective and basic communication. How many times have you heard or said the following:

Lat week my teen got into trouble - that kinda trouble that you hear other people's children's parents talking about when they are talking other people's children. We didn't wait for him to come home, we called him out at his school. We, admittedly more his mother than I, let him have it in spectacular, old school fashion. Should he ever have kids he now has a story to officially tell them.

Although I spent the rest of the day fantasizing about putting him out I was surprised when I got in late with my daughter and saw no signs of him having come home to go to practice (his usual routine). I began to wonder, but not fear.

My son is entering hide senior year of high school. This is it! He is in his final stretch. With that said, I am doing my best to empower him financially before he begins to make his journey into adulthood. As you may know, I set up his checking account and experienced a few hiccups shortly thereafter, but eventually I got him (and everyone else) thinking straight. And then the summer came. And then his birthday came.

And then he went crazy.

I was a teen once so I can't say I don't understand, but I didn't have the access to adult playthings that he or any kid does theses days so I don't understand. After his birthday he did an amazing thing: he poured all his gift money and then some money that was meant for him to actually use and went on a five day spending spree that reached nearly $1,000. He was away at the time, of course, safely out of the naysaying reach of mom and dad. The kicker though? When the smoke cleared he didn't have a bag full of goodies. He had only three things, still had $200 in the bank and had the nerve to send me a text asking for $20 via bank transfer so he could buy some food. I laughed, called him to tell him he had some nerve and said no.

It could've been worse I suppose. He could've been using a credit card. That's what I did back in my day.

Two days ago around 2 am I walked right into my son's room. The lights were on, he was wearing a scully (winter cap) and talking on the phone. He popped up, shocked and said, "Oh, I have a cramp in my leg and couldn't sleep."

Me: *Blank Stare* Then I said, "Shut it down and go to bed."

I breathed a sigh of relief that that was all he was doing. Gone are the days of jumping on the hardline and screaming at both children for being on the phone in the middle of the night. Or listening with your hand over the mouthpiece so they can't hear you breathing.

That gosh-darn iPhone circumvents parental controls. Looks like I'm going to have to turn off the circuit breaker at bedtime.

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Thanks for reading! To learn more about me, you can read my story.

This article first appeared at Black And Married With Kids.

As a young man I struggled with the management of my finances. This was due in part to my father’s control and silence over the money I made from my neighborhood lawn-mowing gig. He would leave me with a couple dollars, take the bulk of the money I made, deposit it into a credit union account and that was that. No explanation and no conversation. And he almost dared me to suggest otherwise.

Then when I went to college he made a huge deposit into a checking account he set up for me. Pretty admirable…until I spent it all over the course of maybe two months. Then I moved on to the seductive lure of credit cards. There were signups everywhere I could see offering hundreds of dollars of credit for free! And I just had to have one of those Frisbees or squeegee bottles with some bank’s ugly logo on it. If I could go back in time I would slap myself silly, for being so silly.

Studio Lambert, the studio that brought you "Undercover Boss" is working on a new show called "It Takes A Village" for the Oprah Winfrey Network. They will be casting in Atlanta soon and may be looking for a family just like yours!

Each episode will feature a family confronting challenges with their teens (just like on "Supernanny")... but the show will rally the community to help the family.  The help will come from friends, family, neighbors and free services. At the end of the day, the show intends to create a greater sense of community for the whole neighborhood.

For example, this family might have a son failing in math, yet they don't know there is a retired math teacher living at the end of their block who would love to help... Or, in the family there's a teen boy who needs a strong male parent figure (that they do not currently have), and they are helped by a male neighbor by taking the child out to baseball games, etc.  But these are just examples-- the net is wide open for suggestions! There are obviously many different kinds of troubles a family can be having. See the details after the jump:

Last night I attended an awards ceremony where high school seniors were receiving full scholarships (based on merit) to a select few colleges and universities. When given the chance to speak many thanked both their parents, most thanked their mothers and one lone young lady went out of her way to tearfully thank her father for being an involved, loving and amazing dad. This is the kind of father all of us in the dad lane should all aspire to be.

I was fighting back the tears, coughing and rubbing my eyes as if they itched knowing good and well I was about to gush right along with all the other parents, teachers, counselors and adults in the audience. The entire event was a tear-fest which I arrived to a bit late because Google Maps sent me to a rehab/recovery shelter instead of the auditorium where the event was taking place. I envisioned what it might be like to be a proud father of either my son or daughter receiving a scholarship to college or any award for that matter and I got choked up all over again.

Follow this link to learn more about the Posse Foundation and the amazing work it does. They are located in multiple locations throughout the US. Who knows, you might be the next proud parent of a child going to college on a Posse Scholarship.

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Let's face facts if you read my blog you're doing so because you can relate to some if not all of what I write. One thing I think we can all relate to is living in either a home or apartment. As someone who's done both I can say my least favorite part of the places we all call home is The Can and the odors that hang out there. I'm not talking about those odors that come about as a result of natural functions. Fortunately those pass...eventually. I'm talking about the damp odors that linger in towels and rugs and drains. No one has the time to clean the can everyday unless you have a maid or butler, neither of which I do, so room fresheners will have to do.

I was recently telling a fellow female parent, a.k.a. a mom that my son wears size thirteen shoes.

To which she replied, "Well, you know what they say about big feet?"

I said, "Yeah, I can't skimp on any of his shoes anymore because they're more expensive than mine."

I'm almost positive that's not what she meant.

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As a child, my parents and I always had dinner together. From my pre-school days of enjoying everything that was put in front of me, to my middle school and adolescent years of hating everything that was put in front of me, to coming home on breaks from college and knowing that dinner time was family time --- no matter the circumstances --- we ate dinner as a family. Whether I liked it or not (and 99.85% of the time I liked it) it was a time for us to come together to talk, discuss current events, share stories and get reprimanded (the latter refers to me).

As a grown man, married and the father of two kids it went without saying that we would eat dinner as a family. It was simply automatic.

This morning during a lighthearted conversation with my teen about kitchen cleanliness my teen told me he didn't have to heed what I had to say.

"I'm not going to be a waiter," he told me.

I urged him to be careful of his words, telling him that once you begin to speak on what you won't do, life will sometimes humble you (slap you) to a place where you wind up doing exactly what you proclaimed you wouldn't.

The boy shot me a casual glance and told me I was old.


I'm the author of DAD: As Easy As A, B, C! - 26 Dos & Don'ts for Fathers. Click here for my story and the origin of Makes Me Wanna Holler. Do you Tweet? Follow EPayneTheDad on Twitter. Live on Facebook? Like Makes Me Wanna Holler on Facebook.

Field of Vision is a family-friendly made for TV movie that promotes a plethora of positive messages for teens and kids. The most important of these, by far, is taking a stand to do what is right no matter the consequences. This Walmart and Proctor & Gamble production challenges both of its protagonists --- two high school students who become unlikely allies. The first is Tyler McFarland, a young man who sits pretty at the top of the high school caste system as the handsome star quarterback and captain of the football team and the son of good pedigree. His mother (Faith Ford) is the beloved high school counselor of Sinclair West High and his father is a former football champion at the same high school. Then there is Corey Kimble, a kid, by all definitions, from the wrong side of the tracks --- orphaned, academically unstable and a reclusive outcast. But Corey is clearly performing beneath his potential and is a natural on the football field.

Upon transferring to Tyler's school after yet another bad experience at his previous school, Ford's Mrs. McFarland challenges Corey to do better and to do more. Taking her up on the challenge, he immediately catches the attention and ire of a few members of Tyler's team. Thus begins a series of unfortunate episodes of bullying that create the conflicts that both young men must see themselves through. Will Tyler put an end to the bullying he's been turning a blind eye to for years and right a very blatant wrong at the expense of his team, or will he continue to look the other way? Will Corey stop carrying the burden of the tragedy he experienced as a child and accept that he deserves to be exactly where he is no matter what or who tries to tell him otherwise, or will he allow the tragedy that has occurred in his life to define him for the rest of his life?





I can't say that I was a fan of TV Family Movie Nights growing up, but in retrospect, I loved spending time with my family while watching them. If time permits, (if not, then schedule the DVR) round up the family and make sure you not only watch Field of Vision, but discuss the themes with your kids as well.

Field of Vision premieres Saturday, June 11th at 8/7c on NBC.

To learn more, visit the Field of Vision Website and Facebook Fan Page:
http://www.familymovienight.com/field-of-vision
http://www.facebook.com/familymovienight


I wrote this review while participating in a campaign by Dad Central Consulting on behalf of P&G and received a promotional item to thank me for taking the time to participate.


E.Payne is the author of DAD: As Easy As A, B, C! coming Fathers' Day 2011 and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

High School

When dropping my teen off at his high school I always tell him to have a good day and do his best. The usual response I get is an unintelligible murmur followed by a series of grunts. He then drags his war-ravaged backpack across my dashboard or the back seat depending on where he's thrown it. Then like clockwork, no matter how many times I tell him, no matter how many times he apologizes, he winds up and slams my car door as if he were going for the gold in a championship game of handball.

I watch him skulk off to the school entrance, walking like he's headed for the electric chair. I shake my head and wonder what happened, trying to remember if I was that way. I probably was.


Preschool

Entering my daughter's preschool is like walking into a live action cartoon. There a bright colors everywhere. Handmade art and pictures of little smiling faces adorn the walls. The sound of children laughing and squealing perpetually floats in the air (followed sometimes by a sharp reprimand of "No Running!" from a teacher). The staff is usually smiling. And everyone calls me "Dad", presumably because knowing all the children on a first-name basis doesn't allow for enough RAM to remember the last names of their parents. My daughter bounces into her classroom and her little classmates happily call out to her. Everything is little, clean and cute. She sheds her jacket, hands it to me to hang up for her and goes to wash her hands in a sink situated not too far from the floor. I always manage to chat with at least one parent for anywhere from two to ten minutes. And without fail before I leave, my daughter hugs me around my legs and says, "I love you, Daddy," before being herded off to some activity.

I walk to my car, slightly missing her, and at the same time thinking how amazing it must be to learn anew and experience every single day as a brand new one. I try to remember my preschool days, but I can't. I'm too old.

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