Fatherhood Is A Movement

You can prove them wrong. You have the power.

First and foremost, thank you for being a reader and supporter of Makes Me Wanna Holler.com I can't tell you how rewarding it has been to be able to connect with you in the name of fatherhood, family and positive living in this day and age. For a long time I've wanted to reach out to parents, fathers in particular, directly to give them the things I've learned on own through trial and error. But each time I've tried I've been told the following by "the powers that be" of the publishing community: "You're not a celebrity," "You're not an expert," "You will only appeal to one type of audience," and probably most alarming, "You should write your book for women because men won't read it." Well I've decided to prove the naysayers wrong with DAD: As Easy As A, B, C! It's both a guide and a personal journal for fathers of all stages and their spouses/partners. It is my testimony and proof that you don't have to be a celebrity with a ghost writer to be an authority on that which you and I do every day. This is Fatherhood Revealed from the trenches of real-life Dad-dom.

It's arriving on Father's Day 2011 to the Amazon Kindle Store. But you have the opportunity right now to show your support by joining, Liking and sharing, the DAD: AS Easy As A, B, C! Facebook Page where you will receive updates and news about the book and yours truly, the humble author.

Let's show the world that fatherhood is still viable in 2011. Not only is it viable, it's thriving! Prove that the average everyday hardworking citizen does more than hang on the ghost-written words of celebrities and "experts" who live in glass houses. Thanks for reading and please share this post with your networks.
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DAD: As Easy As A, B, C!

E.Payne is the author of Investing In An Emotional Letdown and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

This falls under both AP Manhood and Manhood 101. Any man who doesn't believe he needs to respect or honor women as he does himself is a fool. Whether this means giving your seat to a pregnant woman on the train or bus. Helping an elderly woman (if she wants it) across the street or down the hall, holding doors open for a woman walking in front of you or behind you as you enter a building, opening car doors, pulling out her seat at dinner, bending down to pick something up that a woman dropped or at the very least letting her know she dropped it, saying "Please" and "Thank you" when making a request and receiving it from a woman...the list is endless and should be adhered to in all but the most extreme cases. In in these situations all you can do is pray.

Believe what you want, but women are our mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, cousins, aunts, teachers, nurses, pastors, etc. For the man out there not giving a flying you know what about women I pose the question: how would you feel if someone was doing the same to any of the women in your life defined at the beginning of this paragraph?

As my little daughter says, "Girls rock!" Damn what a rapper says in front of a catchy beat or some high pitched young'n sings on today's top R&B singles. Chivalry ain't dead, just the thinking of those who believe otherwise.

This is AP Manhood.


E.Payne is the author of Investing In An Emotional Letdown and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

At the beginning of the week I wrote about my cousin-in-law's (cousin's) sudden and shocking fall to a Brain Aneurysm. She passed away this past Tuesday surrounded by family. I made a pledge at the end of Monday's post to bring awareness to this often fatal event that most people know very little about.

What Is A Brain Aneurysm?

A brain aneurysm, also referred to as a cerebral aneurysm or intracranial aneurysm (IA), is a weak bulging spot on the wall of a brain artery very much like a thin balloon or weak spot on an inner tube. Over time, the blood flow within the artery pounds against the thinned portion of the wall and aneurysms form silently from wear and tear on the arteries. As the artery wall becomes gradually thinner from the dilation, the blood flow causes the weakened wall to swell outward. This pressure may cause the aneurysm to rupture and allow blood to escape into the space around the brain. A ruptured brain aneurysm commonly requires advanced surgical treatment. (Source)

Warning Signs/Symptoms

Unruptured brain aneurysms are typically completely asymptomatic. These aneurysms are typically small in size, usually less than one half inch in diameter. However, large unruptured aneurysms can occasionally press on the brain or the nerves stemming out of the brain and may result in various neurological symptoms. Any individual experiencing some or all of the following symptoms, regardless of age, should undergo immediate and careful evaluation by a physician.

• Localized Headache
• Dilated pupils
• Blurred or double vision
• Pain above and behind eye
• Weakness and numbness
• Difficulty speaking

Ruptured brain aneurysms usually result in a subarachnoid hemorrhage (SAH), which is defined as bleeding into the subarachnoid space. When blood escapes into the space around the brain, it can cause sudden symptoms.

Seek Medical Attention Immediately If You Are Experiencing Some Or All Of These Symptoms:

• Sudden severe headache, the worst headache of your life
• Loss of consciousness
• Nausea/Vomiting
• Stiff Neck
• Sudden blurred or double vision
• Sudden pain above/behind the eye or difficulty seeing
• Sudden change in mental status/awareness
• Sudden trouble walking or dizziness
• Sudden weakness and numbness
• Sensitivity to light (photophobia)
• Seizure
• Drooping eyelid (Source)

Don't think it can happen to you? Check out these Brain Aneursym Statistics and Facts. Believe it or not, kids can have them too.

What's next if any of the above sounds familiar? Go to your doctor immediately. If you don't have one, then get one. If you currently don't have insurance and are sitting around waiting for the right time or a job to come through, you need to throw your pride in the trash right now and head to your local board of health. Additionally, I was informed by a firefighter friend that you can stop by your local firehouse for a free blood pressure check. They are versed in the symptoms for IA and are equipped to advise you as to whether you should or should not seek advanced medical attention.

To be continued...

E.Payne is the author of DAD: As Easy As A, B, C! and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

Photo Courtesy Eric Payne. All Rights Reserved.

None of us truly knows what lies ahead in the distance. For all that we are capable of we cannot predict or see the future. As a result, the unknown can be a place of great fear. This fear can be so great that it often paralyzes or gives rise to bad if not dumb decisions. But this doesn't have to be the case. The man who thrives despite the unknown is the one lives in the present confidently enjoying and positively exploiting as much as possible, fully aware that in his Present he is laying the foundation for his Future and the futures of those affected by him.

This is AP Manhood.

E.Payne is the author of Investing In An Emotional Letdown and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

Those of us who have reached a state of AP Manhood either by choice or circumstance know, understand and embrace the reality that in order to function and function effectively one must have his house in order. In other words, the man who thrives is the one who has his affairs in order. Affairs are inclusive of all of the required pieces of the puzzle --- from finances to having the necessary tools to succeed (whatever success is for you). In much simpler terms, a man shouldn't make the mistake of talking about that house on the hill that he wants if he's drowning in debt and doesn't have a plan in place that will help him to rise above his circumstances.

Anything that is out of order in your life will be a contributing factor for why you aren't the fully realized man that you envision yourself to be. Whether this is fast and loose spending with no accounting, not going to the doctor when you know something is wrong, bad habits such as too much time at the bar or strip club, or the company you keep --- homies who are helping you go nowhere or that woman who is killing you softly, loudly or slowly, or simply driving you insane.

Take time to assess Project You. Take out a pen and pad and write down what is working and what isn't. If you have a close friend, talk to them about it and get their two cents. Look at your notes and decide if what you've written down is going to get you where you want to be. If so, then stop reading right now. If not, then get your house in order, get rid of the B.S. and get right with yourself, your family, your God (if this is your belief system). And if you can't do it yourself, set aside some of that money you normally burn (no matter how little money you might be making we all burn a portion of our incomes) and pay someone who knows how to whip you into shape.

It ain't easy so don't take my tough talk as dismissive and detached. But it can and must be done if thriving vs. surviving is your objective.

This is AP Manhood.


E.Payne is the author of Investing In An Emotional Letdown and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

After belting out my Super-Dad post a couple weeks ago and watching it make its rounds on the Internet I was made to feel all too human at 6 am on Easter morning. At 6 am we (the wife and I) received the call we didn't want to receive. It was the 2nd call actually. The first happened several hours earlier in the middle of the night to notify us that one of my wife's cousins --- a beautiful, elegant, tall woman of the young age of 50 --- had suffered a brain aneurysm. The 2nd one at 6am was that she was brain dead and on life support.

We both laid there in silence, not sure what to say or do. The suddenness of it all rocked both of us to the core. In the early morning darkness I stared out into the space in front of me and thought nothing, but I did feel just that much more mortal...just a kiss away from the lips of death that can and do come without warning or notice, obliterating in seconds what in most cases takes years to develop and master --- you know, that thing called life?

Right then and there I was "all too human", made of flesh, and more importantly blood --- the life that courses through me pumped by a heart that gets it's electrical kick from who knows where, overseen by a brain that runs the whole human system like a small government, with the only difference being that it works versus what we call government.

My son had a basketball tournament scheduled later that morning that was ultimately canceled. I went to church in my Easter comfortableBest where I listened, sang, clapped and even did a little bit of the sanctified dance in my aisle. Later that evening I barbecued and we had a wonderful dinner out on the back deck of our home. I found myself staring at my family with a new found understanding of them. They are the people in my life and they are to be cherished. I knew this and I know this but yesterday I felt incredibly responsible for them, even my wife. It was almost overwhelming.

I don't fear death, but yesterday it felt much closer to it than I have in a very long time. Death has been a part of my life since the age of 8 when my mother's mother passed away, but death has always been reserved for other people: older people, people on drugs and alcohol, people driving too fast in cars, people drunk in cars, people serving in Iraq. Name the reason and at least there's a reason. But this, similar to the accidental killing of one of my cousins back when we were teenagers hangs inexplicably in the air, just like the notion that life ain't fair.

This week I'm going to do my best via this blog to bring awareness to Brain Aneurysms and help to shed a light on the signs and symptoms leading up to it.

Some of the Easter message from Pastor Olu Brown from Impact Church was that you are to act and know that your time is NOW! To know that nothing in the world, no problem you can come up with, is greater than God. Walk with joy. Forget the place where you've been or even where you are. Conduct yourself as if you are already where you want to be. Time is short. Life is precious.

LIVE.

E.Payne is the author of Investing In An Emotional Letdown and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

Happy Friday! Sorry I've been away for most of this week. I've been busy on the homestead. Today's lecture begins now!

In today’s times with the economic crunchcrush being what it is your average citizen at every turn, the logical thinking is to plunge 100% into the self. Meaning no one has the time or resources to be about anything but keeping their own heads above water. Or do they?

As many readers here know, I am a HUGE advocate of volunteerism. Volunteerism allows you to take the focus off of you by sharing a piece of yourself with someone else who could really use a hand. Volunteerism isn’t about writing a check once a month to a charity you get a end of the year tax break on, volunteerism is about seeking out a cause that means something to you, finding something or someone who could benefit from your time, talent, intellect and in some instances strength. And I would encourage you to do it more than once. If you’re schedule doesn’t allow for a weekly volunteer effort than at least do your best to commit to once a month.

Whether it’s being a Big Brother, a tutor, a mentor, a food distribution warehouse worker, an usher at your church, a volunteer gardener, a campaign manager for a political campaign or even seeing a need and taking the initiative to create something to address it yourself. You’ll be surprised at how many different ways your skills, talents and strengths are appreciated by others, and you may even discover you might not be as bad off as you originally thought, thus restructuring your world view of yourself and causing you to walk a little taller, with a little more confidence knowing you’ve done some good for someone other than yourself. Your life will be a little to a lot richer. Maybe not in dollars, but in value.

A man living an Advanced Placement existence knows that his life isn’t just about him.



E.Payne is the author of Investing In An Emotional Letdown and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

If you hang out on my Facebook Page or opened the recent email I sent out to subscribers, you'll know I revealed that I'm currently penning an eBook on Fatherhood. It's a very short read that will be a combination guide and journal for fathers and the women that love them. Interestingly enough it has taken way longer than I anticipated to complete and I've been very dissatisfied with my (virtual)book cover until now.

Here it is in what should be in it's almost final version:





















If you like, please share in the comments and share amongst your social networks.

Thanks!

E.Payne is the author of Investing In An Emotional Letdown and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

Most if not all of you probably don't know that I've been home alone for the past 16 days. By Sunday it will be 18. Not literally sitting in my home by myself, but on the last day of March my wife boarded a plane headed for the Middle East and Europe for her Business School Externship.

While she's been gone I've:

• been to the DMV 3 times.
• been to traffic court where I was treated like a felon for an expired registration.
• traversed most of Georgia at least 8 times taking my son to basketball games.
• registered my daughter for multiple Kindergartens.
• had 2 job interviews.
• worked out nearly every day and lost 12 pound in the process.
• kept the kids comforted during a power outage.
• spit shined my home to museum standards.
• made 4 trips to a body shop making sure my wife's car was fixed properly (she was in a minor fender bender).
• landed one of the 2 jobs I've interviewed for and waiting to hear back from the other.
• sifted, sorted, shredded and resubmitted more paperwork than any sane man should ever have to.
• worked out at the gym with my son.
• slept an average 3 hours a night.
• set up a tutoring schedule for my son
• volunteered my usual 3 hours per week and added mentoring a young man in writing to my goodwill basket.
• put up new curtains and curtain rods.
  
• gotten both of my children up, dressed, fed and out of the house before 8 am.
• done my daughter's hair almost as well as mom does, including, washing, conditioning, oiling her scalp, detangling her hair (which now is to the small of her back) and braiding it
• taken my daughter bike riding everyday after school and on the weekends as weather permits.
• taken both kids on a picnic.
  
• cooked 5 out of the 7 days of the week.
• arranged 3 playdates with my daughter and her little friends.
• watched Inception 3 times (it wasn't that deep to me - I got it on the first watch).

The only thing I didn't manage to do was actually be in two places at the same time, though I tried. I was quite terrible at it.

Over the years my wife has traveled often but never for this long. And after this trip I will probably seriously insult the next woman who cracks a joke about me being Mr. Mom, or struggling with my kids when Mom isn't around because guess what? None of that is true. But I guess gender discrimination washes both ways.

No I'm not Mr. Mom, or "babysitting" my own damn kids, or frazzled or hanging on by a thread. Have I been tired? Yes. Have I had moments where I've been at wit's end? Definitely! Have I had any time to myself? Mostly after midnight when I can't leave the house and I'm delirious with fatigue. Have I ever once considered that I can't do this? Not even once. But, I don't have any newfound appreciation for what my wife does for two reasons: 1) I've always known the lengths that moms go to without thinking twice; and 2) my wife has never had parent alone and as long as I'm taking in air, she never will.

I'm DAD, doing what I'm supposed to be doing, doing it thanklessly, doing it because I love my kids, doing it because I was ordained to do so, doing it because I'm not a boy, doing it because it's my responsibility, doing it because I love doing it, doing it with my eyes closed, doing it in my sleep, waking up and just doing it, doing it and not thinking twice, doing it and doing it well.

I'm not some dude married to a woman that has my kids and then I "help out". I'm not just the guy who steps up when it's time to drive or pay a bill. I'm DAD in every sense of the word, and maybe even redefined. If my wife's trip showed me anything, it let me know just how far I'm willing to go to see to it that me and mine are taken care of. And how far is that?

As far as the eye can see.

I'm DAD. Period.

Photo Credit: The Welsh Poppy

E.Payne is the author of Investing In An Emotional Letdown and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

You might be scratching your heads on this one, but the non-italicized title above doesn't really do justice to the point I intend to make for today's lesson.

Borrowing from the Rich Dad Poor Dad psychology, the non-advanced man or the man who has simply gotten knocked off course a bit asks the question: "How can I...?" when faced with something he may wish to do, have or participate in. His stress is on the I. I meaning his present set of circumstances, skill set, or whatever it may be, that hold him captive in a prison of impossibility and lack.

The Advanced Placement Man when faced with something he may wish to do, have or participate in, asks: "How can I do this is?" In other words, what is it going to take/what do I need to do to accomplish this goal? He acknowledges his present set of circumstances and/or his lacking and is seeking to move beyond this place.

How he might go about doing this is detailed in AP Manhood: No Plan B.



E.Payne is the author of Investing In An Emotional Letdown and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

I'm the father of a 5 year old daughter who is in serious need of a kill-switch to stop moving and a son who plays football and basketball and runs track and if allowed to would spend all day shooting hoops at the courts. I'm a man who works boxes, jumps rope, lifts weights, does plyometrics and at the very least takes a brisk walk no less than 15 minutes a day 6 days out of the week. And we all eat fruit like it's going out of style. So of course I'm all about First Lady Michelle Obama's initiative to reduce childhood obesity by promoting active lifestyles for children. Children and active. I'm not sure the two terms can even be separate and apart from each other. But sadly, in today's media-rich society 'tis true.

Let’s Move! is a comprehensive initiative, launched by the First Lady, dedicated to solving the problem of obesity within a generation, so that children born today will grow up healthier and able to pursue their dreams.*

Just recently my old flame (in my head), Beyoncé Knowles, joined the initiative. Below is her contribution.



What's up with Beyoncé's face derezzing? Scary, right?

Now check out the full work out with the reworked Move Your Body adapted from her original Get Me Bodied.



Reminds me of a boxing workout, minus all that hip work.

I can definitely see my little one doing this, or just doing her own thing. Whatever the case, the warm weather is here and definitely on it's way to stay, I hope you get your kids off the couch, out from in front of the television or video games. Get them outdoors and get them moving their bodies like we did back in the day on the playgrounds before playgrounds became places no one wanted their kids to be.

To learn more visit the Let's Move website.*

E.Payne is the author of Investing In An Emotional Letdown and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

Any man worth his salt knows that he will never always be right. In fact a real man knows that in this great big world of ours, he knows very little. This in turn has the positive effect of making him a sponge for knowledge and wisdom at every turn.

Additionally, the man who realizes, recognizes or if necessary, is compellingly convinced that he is wrong should and must apologize quickly. Why not? Real men don't play games. They don't allow situations that are within their control to get worse. They don't allow emotional wounds to fester to the point of wreaking havoc on their lives or the lives of others. If they are focused on succeeding, then they won't have time to navigate self-made chaos. If, upon apologizing for an offense a person opts to not forgive you or seeks to punish you, that's on them. Your responsibility as a man is to acknowledge your wrong and be accountable for it. In between acknowledgment and accountability lies the apology.

Apologize...quickly.



E.Payne is the author of Investing In An Emotional Letdown and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

If you are able to sit through your typical story arc of the good son (and in this case, bunny) turned loose cannon who's ultimate fate is redemption, the son who never realized his potential until right now, your standard wholesome enterprise being overthrown by the subservient but treacherous Number 2 who dreams of being Number 1, and a talking live-action bunny that poops jelly beans then you've got the chops for Hop, the new movie from the producers who brought us Despicable Me.

I do believe actor James Marsden (X-Men, Enchanted) has sunk to new low in his effort to capture the lucrative children's movie demographic. But I also found Hank Azaria to be masterful as the subservient Carlos, the head chick but number 2 in command of the candy factory at Easter Island, the homeland of Easter Bunny royalty similar to what the South Pole is to someone else we know. David Hasselhoff is quite good at being... David Hasselhoff. He definitely knows how to play himself making fun of himself. Gary Cole most notably remembered for his wonderful turn as Bill Lumbergh in the movie, Office Space, plays the disapproving dad of James Marsden's, Fred, to the point of cliche.

But before I go any further --- THIS IS A KID'S MOVIE! It wasn't meant for adults except for the occasionally dated references that only a parent born in the seventies and early eighties would know. My daughter and her friends liked it and the movie did well keeping their attention through nearly all of it's 90-minute run time. It has given them that much more to daydream about when it comes to Easter and the Easter Bunny.

If you're like me and you're home on the weekend without the spouse or even if your spouse is with you, take the kids out to see Hop. They won't be disappointed. And for the time they are engaged with the movie, neither will you.

Disclosure: This is not a paid review. However this reviewer did attend a complimentary private screening of the movie, HOP. This review was not influenced in any way by the movie's producers or it's affiliates.

E.Payne is the author of Investing In An Emotional Letdown and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

You're a man. You're passionate about your goals. Whether you dream big or small you have a dream. When you lay your head on your pillow at night that dream talks to you. When you wake you wish you were in that dream.

But you're not. Why? Because you have a Plan B.

That God-given itch inside of you is your calling, your destiny. That thing you were meant to be. But having an itch doesn't necessarily preclude knowing how to scratch it. Nothing worth having has ever been easily achieved and if you cheat to get it, you typically lose in the long run.

So if you don't know how to achieve your goals/dream, get close to someone who is doing what you want to do. Make them your friend. Get them to pour their knowledge into you. Have a pen and pad when you are around them or take clear mental notes. Invest in continuing education. Attend seminars or webinars. Immerse yourself in Google until you become an expert in what it is you'd like to do.

Right now you might be saying to yourself (or me), "Being an actor doesn't pay the bills." Well here is where you're "Plan B" kicks in. Figure out how to make your money work for you so you can survive. Set an investment or savings plan so that you can live off of savings for 6 months to a year and then go hard during those 6 to 12 months. Create a cushion of cash to keep you off welfare and to keep a roof over your head or find someone's roof to live under, but be good to them while they are being generous to you.

There is no Plan B. Plan To Be successful. By having a Plan B you simply rob yourself of your potential. If you've got kids, then you'll just have to plan to be even more successful. In the end, if it doesn't work out at least you know you tried. And another door will open for you that you will know to go through.

Plan To Be successful. And remember success is a term that only you can add value to as it is different for each and every one of us.



E.Payne is the author of Investing In An Emotional Letdown and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

A critical rite of passage for a man comes when he is broken. Broken from a belief system that had him full of himself and left with the only the ashes and shrapnel of his folly. This can happen by circumstance or at the hands of another man...or woman. It is that moment or series of moments when all of your self-aggrandizing, a.k.a delusions of grandeur get flushed down the toilet. Humiliated, shamed, lost, you are officially broken.

What happens next separates the real men from the other men. A man's true, defining character comes forth once all is lost. I'm no Army man, but I believe wholeheartedly in breaking a boy (a male pretending to be a man) purifying him of all his foolishness and then building him back up in the way he should go.

If you are going through a challenge right now that has you teetering; you might even already be broken. Regardless of where the blame lays, use this as opportunity for growth. Learn from your mistakes and rise above them into a new you.



E.Payne is the author of Investing In An Emotional Letdown and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

A real man doesn't come out of the gates swinging. He comes out prepared, trained and as filled with as much wisdom as he can absorb. Being prepared allows him to manage his circumstances whether he's fully knowledgeable of them or not. If you throw in a healthy amount of spirituality you have a warrior-king in your midst --- someone who is both just and strong as circumstance requires it of him. Regardless of what his appearance is, or what some outsiders perception may be, on the inside, it is the content of his character and the beauty of his soul that truly determine who he is.

Welcome to AP Manhood, meaning Advanced Placement Manhood. There's plenty of Manhood 101 circulating around the Internet and it is absolutely necessary. But everybody is required to take a 101 course. Only a select few make it to the AP class and then survive once they get there.

Stay tuned for my take on Advanced Placement Manhood. Some of it may seem elementary, but sometimes it is the simplest of ideas and theories that are hardest to apply. Hopefully we can get a nice conversation going over the course of this month.

Be well. Be blessed. Be strong. Be powerful. Be informed.


E.Payne is the author of Investing In An Emotional Letdown and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

Garbage in, garbage out...

Garbage out, period.



Yup, folks, the above pic is me in the fall of 2010 after boxing away the backfat. Over the course of the spring and summer of 2010 I dropped weight from a whopping 205 pounds to approximately 180 missing my goal of 173 by a mere 7 pounds. I turned back the hands of time. I became a semi-lean, not-too-mean fighting machine.

And then I packed up my life and moved to Atlanta.

Dealing with a new environment, combating a very rough patch with the wife, and entering a highly unwelcoming job market all spelled one thing: eating comfort food. Hamburgers, more hamburgers, french fries, milkshakes with every meal, BIG breakfasts, home made lemonade and sweet tea, strawberry cheesequake blizzards (concrete heaven in a cup) from Dairy Queen, ribs, lemon pepper chicken wings, atomic chicken wings, fish tacos (these are actually healthy), and more french fries. Not to mention until I get a bike, I have to drive everywhere as nothing is walkable except the business district.

The food was good and the associated bloating, feeling terrible and lethargic was just all apart of the joy of food. In January I began working out with one of my neighbors, a former Olympian. It was then that I mounted a scale and discovered the ugly truth. In four months time I had gained back nearly all the weight I spent boxing. She assured me I'd lose it all and then some.

What did I think was going to happen? I'm not twenty anymore. In fact, I'll be forty in the fall. I was pretty depressed the day I got this news. So depressed that after working out, I pulled into a McDonald's drive-thru and ordered a Quarter Pounder without cheese (it was without cheese).

Then in March I went away to the Disney Dreamers Academy and was bombarded with so much "cruise ship food" that I had to draw the line somewhere. I began guzzling water like your average everyday dog and cat does. Something strange began to happen. I began to naturally clean out, detox, whatever you want to call it. I returned to Atlanta, vowing not to touch any drink with sugar in it any time soon. I took it a step further and swore myself off the stuff for lent, overlooking that my beloved coffee falls into the category of sugary drinks based on the way I like to drink my coffee. Not drinking fruit punch and sweet tea is easy, but coffee?! But 6 weeks in I'm doing fine. In addition to the sugary drinks, I've cut out white flour bread, and my other most beloved: french fries. Do I miss it? Yes. Am I tempted? Often. Do I miss being bloated and feeling heavy? Not at all. I'll take feeling and looking better over tasting and drinking heavenly creations, only to spend the rest of the day farting and belching, any day of the week.

I've managed to lose 7 pounds pretty effortlessly and last week I joined a gym not to far from my home that by New York standards would be completely unaffordable. But down here it's $29 bucks a month. I'm there 4 days a week for no less than 2 hours at a time, working out like I'm in a movie, trying to win the big game and the girl.

Garbage out! This is the remixed reboot of Bye, Bye Backfat. If you haven't heard the hit song that goes along with this blog series of mine you'll have to watch the videos. It all feels nice and natural. I'm getting my house in order --- my temple (my body), my actual domicile, my kids activities and my finances. It's all apart of the plan for healthy, holistic, rich and happy living.

Backfat begone! Garbage begone! Welcome healthy, wealthy, happy life!


E.Payne is the author of Investing In An Emotional Letdown and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.