Let's face facts, love is a mystery. Especially in today's times. It is as elusive as the cat burglar that cleans out a jewelry store without anyone noticing (dating myself here as I think about the Pink Panther movies of yesteryear).

But here's the thing, love is elusive because we allow it to be. We are distracted by EVERYTHING, including the actions of the one we claim to love. Oftentimes we allow our spouse's/lover's isms and bad days to dictate who we are and how we opt to act toward them.

But being with someone, loving them is a choice, something that other person, by virtue of the definition of love (a different post for a different time), shouldn't be able to control. So for example, most parents choose to love their children no matter what they do because they love that person so much their actions can't prevent them from loving them. And a parent hopes that through love, a child will grow, excel, flourish. The notion that the "ownership" of a child that comes with parenthood is the driver for this kind of love (unconditional) may be true, but the fact remains, most parents no matter how burned up they are by their child's actions, choose to love them anyway. That choice is so natural, so automatic most don't even realize they are in fact choosing and not "feeling" love. Here are 4 simple steps you can take to inject a healthy dose of lovingness into your marriage:

"What if a child dreamed of becoming something other than what society intended...?"

This is a quote from the recent Man of Steel movie but it is oh so applicable to this real life. So what if a child does dream, and all children do, how does he or she become more than the limiting, dimwitted expectations placed upon them? Recent events have crystallized for more than ever that it's time for us parents to reclaim our children. It's time to shut down or at least talk about the dehumanizing media produced by profiteering suits that foster pointless pathologies filled with hate and misogyny. It's time to treat our kids exactly as they are: kids. Let's love them, raise them and educate them. It may not be easy but it is absolutely necessary. Teach them. Love them. Talk to them constantly.

And to the men reading this: be fathers to your kids. Having a father is every child's right. Don't let your kids down.

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First Note: Short of death there is nothing that will keep me from being in my daughter's life. The sun rises and sets with my daughter. As much as is humanly and appropriately possible, I want to be present for all of it...

Inspire The Dad In Your Life To Be His Best All Year Long

In this all-new episode, Oprah Winfrey and Iyanla Vanzant address an audience and online community of daddyless daughters who reveal their personal stories of how not having a father present in their life affected who they are today. With symptoms of low confidence, overcompensating in other relationships, and seeking love in all the wrong places, daughters who want to heal seek guidance from Oprah and Iyanla in order to prepare to move forward with their life with a positive, new outlook.

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As the man of the house I do my best to mitigate food wastage in my fridge (the place where fresh food goes to die). Sometimes the wife and kids make fun of me, calling me curmudgeonly. But when you see the numbers above and do the math, it really isn't a laughing matter.

How to reduce food waste in your home:

1. Eat the food you buy.
2. Check your fridge before you go grocery shopping to keep your food and your money from going to waste. Unless you are shopping for non-perishables or for next week's backyard barbecue there really is no need to stock up on food you didn't eat after your last trip to the grocery store.

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FACT: NEARLY 1 OUT OF 3 CHILDREN IN THE UNITED STATES GROW UP WITHOUT A FATHER

8 Steps A Father Can Take to Reconnect With His Kid(s)

Below are practical action steps from “Oprah’s Lifeclass” episode ‘Fatherless Sons: The Reaction’ that every father can take in an effort to reconnect with his children (as provided by expert Geoffrey Canada):

1. Pick your son up from school
2. Cook a meal together
3. Take a day off of work to go on a school trip
4. Go to parent/teacher conferences
5. Show up at school just because
6. Go to the school play
7. Show up at graduation
8. Teach your child about something you love

Inspire The Dad In Your Life To Be His Best All Year Long

Be sure to tune in for the NEW EPISODE of ‘Oprah’s LIFECLASS’ Fatherless Sons: THE REACTION

Time: SUNDAY, JULY 7 at 9pm ET/PT

Station: OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network

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This past Saturday was very bright and very sunny. My family and I spent most of it outdoors. At one point, I noticed a man in a car staring at my daughter while she, my son, my father-in-law and I were sitting outside an ice cream shop. I naturally became concerned when he called out to me and asked if this was my family. I answered yes and he told me, "First off you have a beautiful family and second, I just had a baby girl and the way you look right now is what I'm shooting for." It was then that I noticed the baby seat in the back seat of his car. I thanked him and wished him well as he drove off. You never know when or how you can make an impression on someone. Even when minding your own business. As my Mom always says, "Make sure you're wearing clean underwear..."

Parenting Advice Should Be Free

This got me thinking about the parenting book I wrote a couple years back. In a perfect world, I would have loved for this book to have been the one to make me financially independent. But this didn't happen and after my exchange with the young dad on Saturday my priorities have changed completely. Now I simply want to give it away. To quote many of the little shoplifters that used to get nabbed when   I was working at Barnes & Noble, "Knowledge should be free." Especially when it's advice on fatherhood, one of the more challenging courses available to humanity.

99 Cents or Less At the Kindle Store

Magna Carta this is not. But Kindle it is. According to Kindle's rules I can't sell the book for any less than 99 cents. Darn! But if you're an Amazon Prime member it's free of charge. Yes! And what's best: you don't have to have a Kindle to read a Kindle book, just the mobile or desktop app.

Inspire the Dad In Your Life All Year Long

When I first wrote this book I wrote it to inspire fathers as I'm most concerned about doing my part to empower and encourage dads. But after looking it over once it was done, it can and should be read by both mothers and fathers as it will keep you on your game and remind you of what's important in a world filled with so many things that are not.

• The book is called: DAD: As Easy As A, B, C! (of course it really isn't, but it may feel this way after reading through the pages and completing the included workbook exercises)
• Price: FREE, if you are an Amazon Prime member, otherwise it's 99 cents.

I sincerely hope you will make it a part of your library today.

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