The video contained in this post was a rush job. There are no ifs ands and buts about it. I had been trying to schedule Scott for a shoot all week and when he was finally available, my time was not my own. But I committed myself to making it happen.

What I didn't anticipate was Scott's nervousness. We've discussed fatherhood in the past and also in the days leading up to my taping him. He's a fun-loving bear of a man who speaks with so much pride and passion about being a father I was caught off guard by his jitters about saying the right thing. Or worse, saying the wrong thing.

I knew that if we had to do multiple takes, this guy was going to start overthinking and making mechanical something that comes very naturally to him. So we did this in two takes, albeit with some camera shake, the Sun imposing it's will on us and my overlooking some tiny gaffes in the name of getting the most authentic and raw footage possible.

Unbeknownst to him at the time, Scott gave me some of the purest gold I've ever had the pleasure to watch. I literally have grinned from ear to ear while watching. Especially 2:55 into the video.

I hope you will agree. Fatherhood in Black: Because We Do Exist

Happy Father's Day to you and yours.



Before you go, meet Ross and watch his testimony on what it means to be a father.

Did you enjoy this post?

Get Meaningful How-Tos and Inspiration Directly In Your Email Inbox

So it's Saturday and you know you are knee deep in a huge mistake. You were busy all week. I know. I was too. You don't know what to get "for the man who has everything." To which I'm sure he would laugh, or simply not respond at all. Or, maybe you just plain forgot, which I genuinely understand. Father's Day is almost five days early compared to previous years. I was pretty psyched myself when I discovered this last week. This will be the first time my son's birthday, which falls a day or two before or after Father's Day, won't be the factor that typically preempts my ability to singularly enjoy the day. Hopefully, this year, I won't find out there are other factors.

The point remains that you're currently empty-handed and idealess on what to get Dear Old Dad and you actually believe socks, grocery store cologne, shaving cream under $35 and a tie of any price is insulting. And because the day is tomorrow there is no amount of money you can pay Amazon to get a gift to you by Sunday. Fret not! I've got some VERY last minute suggestions for you that won't bust your wallet (or even if they do, it's worth it) and are as far as your local Target and as close as your laptop.

Meet Ross. Ross is an acclaimed photographer, a devoted husband and the proud father of a bouncing baby girl. Ross was gracious enough to take a few moments to share his thoughts on fatherhood with me and is the inaugural subject of my new docu-series called Fatherhood In Black: Because We Do Exist.

The mission of this message is to promote the reality that men of color, particularly African American men, are dedicated, involved and loving parents despite what much of mainstream media promotes and in contrast to what many believe.

Tweet: This Father Really Loves His Daughter http://ctt.ec/3X9fd+ #parenting #fatherhood #dadstalking

This inaugural entry will eventually evolve into a very large project. Please view and share, this video and this blog post, as much as you like as I hope you will share in my personal passion to truly propel and position positive images of fatherhood. We're here, and always have been --- in plain sight.

Did you enjoy this post?

Get Meaningful How-Tos and Inspiration Directly In Your Email Inbox

Father's Day Is For FATHERS: A Public Service Announcement from E.Payne on Vimeo.

When it comes to fathers and Father's Day we always hear about what men need to do to be better fathers, etc. You never hear this conversation in advance of Mother's Day. Father's Day is all about celebrating the fathers that DO in the lives of their children, not the men that DON'T in the lives of their kids. There's no argument that we shouldn't aggressively address the issue of fatherless, especially since it fosters so many societal ills. However on Father's Day lets set this day aside to actually celebrate fathers --- the men who assume the role and responsibilities that come with rearing and loving their children.

---

Thoughts? Please, let me know in the Facebook or Disqus comment sections below.

If you grew up with one or both of your parents, you most certainly have either a short or long list of sayings that one or both parents got into the habit of saying while caring for/disciplining/chastising you. You know these words were said more to test you back once you began to test them as if to ask, "you really want to go there?" And you never did. And no matter how wild or brazen mom's crazy-statements were, dad was able to effortlessly take crazy-statements to an incomprehensible level. In honor of Father's Day I've decided to list down the ten things I say weekly and sometimes more to my kids. Some are son-specific, most are equally applicable and all are said with love. I used to think my dad was ridiculous for his sayings. Now, I belong to the club of the ridiculous.

10. Why is the front door unlocked? If I get robbed I'm putting all of y'all out in the street!
9. Keep it up and I will hang you upside down by your toenails...yeah, really.
8. Who left these lights on? I will empty your college fund out right now and go on vacation.
7. I didn't hear you...what did you say? (pause and lean in close to hear) You sure you want to repeat that?
6. You got five seconds to get it together --- 5...4...3...2...1 (repeated twice)
5. Oh my God, go to bed! The only thing going on right now is me trying to get some sleep.
4. Don't show up at my front door after curfew. No, I mean, don't bother coming home and don't think you're coming home the next day either.
3. Your what? (lean in and pause for answer - usually silence) Nothing in here is yours except the body God gave you.
2. (To my son after he says something ridiculous) Do I have to punch you in the head?
1. (While driving) Hold on... (while pulling to side of road or highway or into some parking lot in the middle of nowhere) Get out. Since you got so much mouth you can talk your way home. Good luck with that.

Spending a little bit of time thinking about the above list brought a smile to my face. I've said it all with no malice at all on my heart in an effort to coach, direct and love my kids.

I love my kids.

Happy Father's Day.

Want to add to this list? Please do in the comments and please keep in mind this is all in fun, anything offensive won't be posted.

---

Thanks for reading! Follow me on Twitter at @EPayneTheDad.

Check out this graphic below listing the thoughts and opinions of some of the leading online dads on the subject of what they wish they had been told prior to becoming a dad (compiled by Future Fortified). You might be surprised by the responses based on who is saying them.

Why my two-cents is included in this esteemed group is beyond me.

Graphic courtesy of Future Fortified.

---

Thanks for reading! To learn more about me, you can read my story.

As lofty and optimistic as I am about fatherhood, there are alarming stats that suggest otherwise. Either not everyone agrees with me, or they might not be able or willing, for one reason or another, to be fathers to their children. On Friday, June 15 at noon, I was a guest on Headline News with host, Mike Galanos, and actor, singer, Tyrese Gibson, I was able to share some of my insights on this issue and also celebrate all the dads trying and doing their best (Happy Father's Day). Check out the video below:



What are your thoughts on fatherlessness? And for the record, although there is a spike in the numbers in the black community, the stats show this epidemic cuts across all ethnicities in the U.S. so please don't feel excluded from commenting.

---

Thanks for reading! To learn more about me, you can read my story.

It seems that my moment has begun to sprout, in the midst of a particularly turbulent and tumultuous time that I may or may not ever speak on here on this blog.

Father's Day is literally just around the corner and I spent most of the week (most of my lunch breaks, that is) being interviewed about being a father, what it means to me and what it should mean in the larger scheme of things.

At home my wife has frequently asked me if I want a cookie for being a father. Of course this comment is drenched in sarcasm thanks to Chris Rock introducing it in a comedy special years ago. And the truth is no I don't other than some occasional affirmation to know I'm doing the right thing versus the wrong thing. And although moms claim to not get any recognition for the things that they do, moms are celebrated everywhere and everyday. And anyone who doesn't celebrate the moms of the world and all the work they do are foolish.

Turns out my blog or at least the several years' worth of messages contained within it are affirming me in ways I never considered or anticipated.

Today at noon Eastern Standard Time I will be on Headline News with host, Mike Galanos and actor (Transformers) and singer (pick a song) Tyrese Gibson talking about fatherhood and some of the challenges facing black fathers. I was a bit nervous being in front of the cameras for the first time since maybe the second grade when I was interviewed with my class on a talkshow that aired in the middle of the night. I hope you will be able to tune in. At the very least, you can put a voice to the words. I just ask that you do ignore my fidgeting.

On Sunday at 7pm EST I will be discussing fatherhood with my blogging brother, Lamar Tyler on local Atlanta radio station, Kiss FM 104.1. This segment was considerably longer and a really good dialog occurred.

This week I was also interviewed by theGrio.com and Kimberly Allers for a forthcoming article. Once those links are made available I will post them.

To any man out there wondering if they can do it, why they are doing it, does anyone care, whatever I say look at your kids, keep them as your focus at all times. Even if they don't thank you or "treat you right" you are grooming thing for successful and hopefully stable adulthood.

And for all the men who are doing what they are supposed to be doing I don't have a "cookie" to offer you. I salute you for hiding in plain sight while society and the media would rather focus on those who aren't worth their salt or the digital ink I will never spill writing about.

Peace and blessings!

Eric Payne

---

Thanks for reading! To learn more about me, you can read my story.

After taping a Father's Day segment for Atlanta's KISS FM 104.1, airing on June 15 at 7 pm. With Jennifer Keitt and fellow Dad, Lamar Tyler.

---

Thanks for reading! To learn more about me, you can read my story.

Most days being a father is thankless, so much so that you don't even think about it --- all the things you do, all that you endure and all that you give by day's end. But most men, even the toughest, of which I am not (the toughest), come face to face with matters that will test and sometimes batter their mettle.

During days or times such as these you may feel that you are alone and no one but maybe God is there. But then compassion comes from the tiniest of places. You hear a small caring voice ask, "Dad, what's wrong?" as I did last week. A voice filled with the love and compassion of all the angels up above. And if you're like me, you answer honestly, or at least as clearly as possible so that young mind you're responding to understands the unnecessary complexities of the world of grown ups.

"It's okay, Dad."

That was my daughter's soft and caring response. She put her small hand first on my shoulder and then on my cheek as she sat in my lap. I felt more compassion than I can describe in this 15-second gesture. I looked into her eyes and she smiled at me. I took a deep breath to keep from crying and ruining her time at the park. In the next breath, nearly half my sorrow was gone.

There is no greater power than the power of love. There is no greater blessing than to have a child who is able to exercise that power.

I am too thankful to be sidelined by the thoughtless actions of men (and women) because of the thoughtfulness of my children.

And my daughter was right. It is okay.

---

Thanks for reading! Follow me on Twitter at @EPayneTheDad. To learn more about me, you can read my story.

Considering this past Sunday was Father's Day you may or may not be wondering why the blog has been so quiet. Sure, if you're one of the many who live over on my Facebook Page you know I've been chattering away about this and that. Here and there I mentioned my son turning 16, but that's it. And with good reason.

My Father's Day was a disaster. The stuff of movies. The only difference being it wasn't funny. At least not to me. I never got angry. By mid afternoon I was sad, by evening I was disappointed, by the time I closed my eyes that night I was disillusioned.

I've worked through all this and am in a place where I can write about it. Look for it next week. Just to you a hint of what to expect: a wrecked car (mine) that I wasn't driving, a flaming bag of nothing and some regular old pasta with meat sauce...

But as DAD I don't have the luxury of wallowing in my own despair. The next day was my son's birthday. Since marrying into this family all of my days seem to be trumped by others --- my son's birthday is either the day before, on or after Father's Day and my mother-in-law's birthday is one week after mine (as is my wedding anniversary) and my wife's birthday is two weeks before mine. Now you may be sitting thinking, well the more the merrier! More reasons to have fun, more partying, more gifts...

Yeah...not really. In my case it always comes down to doing what makes the most sense and what makes the most sense is shortchanging the one who will understand that it's about cost effectiveness, time management, doing the most for the people who are least likely to understand, so He who "gets it"....truly gets it (in every position imaginable).

But enough about me.

The day after what I affectionately refer to as the Father's Day Fiasco of 2011, my son turned 16. Nearly six-foot-two-inches and slated to be a Junior in high school this fall I simply can't believe he is almost ready to leave home to go to college. It was just yesterday that he was the same age as my daughter is now, just as funny, just as entertaining, just as filled with light. He's still a bright light, a personable young gent, but he's a teen and those of you with teens out there know what I mean.

I don't even remember turning 16, but my wife wanted to make a big deal out of the day for him just like she did when he was 15, 14, 13, 12, 10, 9, 8, and 6. Yes, I believe she skipped one year in there. We're in a bit of a financial bind right now and she was convinced it couldn't happen. But since the dawn of this "new economy" I've made one single pledge I've thankfully been able to back up 100% - "My children will not suffer."

Using my own Father's Day gift money that the few aunts and uncles who still believe I'm a child sent me, I ran errands all day, buying balloons, cupcakes, cards, and an iPhone case (the one he wants currently is unavailable to us because of carrier nonsense). The case was my "IOU" to you --- something that I knew he would appreciate as much as the gift itself. He's a lover of meat and pork despite my best efforts to promote healthy eating around the house. Besides he's not a bad kid so if he wants to rebel with food, I'm not mad at that.

Outback Steakhouse quickly came to mind. We piled into the wife's car (as I was unable to even look at mine sitting battered and bruised in our garage) and headed to a location not far from our new home in the ATL. It was a balmy Monday evening filled with a breeze that comforted us all as we sat and ate in the outside dining area. My son had ribs and steak, my wife had ribs and chicken, my daughter thought she wanted ribs but in the end wanted chicken fingers and I had a nicely prepared piece of salmon and a large glass of sangria to take the edge off. I sat there watching my family --- my son opening his cards and genuinely appreciating what was being given to him; my daughter coloring away furiously on her kids' menu and my wife's skin glowing from the rays of the setting sun. And in that moment I was blessed, happy that I could make it happen for my family despite the odds that currently face us, blessed that despite it all we have happiness rather than hopelessness. Sure we could be doing more and we could have more, but when I look back on these tough times (and I will be looking back from a better place), I will always have fondness in my heart, because I will know I never gave in and my family remained beautiful and unscathed because of it.

Thanks to the gifts that have been given to me I'd like to give something to one you: An Outback Steakhouse Dinner with Dad Experience - a $45 gift certificate towards dinner with you and the family (not including alcohol, tax and tips, otherwise known as gratuities).

But there are a couple things I'd like you to do for me in order to be entered to win.

1. Like the post Sweet 16.
2. Write here in the comments section of this post of a time or instance when you overlooked or turned a bad/not so great situation into a great one for you and your family.
3. Like Outback Steakhouse on Facebook at Facebook.com/Outback, OR Follow Outback Steakhouse on Twitter at Twitter.com/Outback

You must do each of the above 3 items listed above to be entered to win. The contest begins as of the posting of this article and ends at 11:59pm on June 30th, 2011. You must be 18 and older to enter and a resident of the USA. On July 1, a random drawing will be made based off your entries in the comments below.

Thanks for reading and supporting as always. Good Luck!

Disclosure: I did receive a complimentary $45 gift certificate for dinner at Outback Steakhouse for the purpose experiencing and reviewing the Outback Steakhouse Dinner with Dad Experience.


E.Payne is the author of the soon to be released DAD: As Easy As A, B, C! and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

Becoming a father is EASY. Elevating your experience to that of DAD is something else entirely.



It isn't easy and sometimes it might not even be considered enjoyable, but it isn't written anywhere that it should be. But no matter what, for the sake of your family and our collective communities at large, it's 100% worth it. Dig in! Stay in!

DAD: As Easy As A, B, C! will be hitting Amazon.com Kindle store on Tuesday, June 21st. In the meantime please enjoy the first 25 pages posted below.

Thank you and Happy Father's Day!!!

DAD: As Easy As A, B, C!

E.Payne is the author of the soon to be released DAD: As Easy As A, B, C! and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

As promised, I've got goodies for the Month of the Dad --- the thirty days that lead up to Father's Day.

First on my list is the Backyard Sports: Sandlot Sluggers video game:



A little over a month ago I had the absolute pleasure to visit Atari's Manhattan offices where I got to test out Sandlot Sluggers with the developer who created it.

First off the game is highly intuitive and on my platform of choice, Wii, intuitive goes without saying. Who doesn't want an opportunity to knock it out of the park and not be labored with a whole bunch of commands?

Secondly, meeting a game developer and listening to his passion for creating video games was no different than me listening to a master photographer, musician or celebrated author discuss their motivation and workflow. I know these guys have reputations for being uber geeky, but the guy I met was a master of his craft, plain and simple.

Check out these powerups:



And characters:



This is definitely something to do with the entire family on a rainy day, to set up as an "always-on" activity when hosting a barbecue at your home, or to do when whittling away the day when your games aren't on and the wife is gone for the day with the kids.

Backyard Sports: Sandlot Sluggers offers hours of entertainment with laugh out loud comedic commentary and exaggerated animations for a one-of-a-kind gaming experience. The game is packed with loads of surprises to keep kids coming back for more and stars a neighborhood full of fun and diverse kids – both fan favorite characters and new friends. New features like Power-ups, Mini Games, and Family Co-op allow for a fun-filled experience for the whole family—young and old!


THE GIVEAWAY:

Two (2) copies of the Backyard Sports: Sandlot Sluggers for the Wii will be given away to two (2) individual contestants. Winners will be selected using Random.org.


CONTEST RULES:

MANDATORY ENTRY:

Leave a comment on any post on this blog and let me know in the comments section of this post.

Additional Entries:

• Subscbribe via RSS or Email to this log (counts for 5 additional entries).

• Join the Makes Me Wanna Holler Facebook Fan Page (there is an additional perk for the 250th fan of my Facebook Fan Page) (counts for 5 additional entries).

• Become a Follower on Google Friend Connect (see right hand column of this blog) (counts for 5 additional entries).

• Tweet the following: Fun for the whole family! Check @MakesMeHoller & Enter to win a copy of Backyard Sports: Sandlot Sluggers http://tinyurl.com/2do4de2 #giveaway Remember to let me know you tweeted in the comments below. 3 tweets per day during contest duration. (1 additional entry per day of tweeting).
  

• Update Your Facebook Status: Just in time for Father's Day and the whole family: enter to win a copy of Backyard Sports: Sandlot Sluggers for the Wii http://www.makesmewannaholler.com/2010/05/backyard-sports-sandlot-sluggers-for.html Be sure to let me know in the comments below that you've updated your status so that your entries can be counted. 3 status updates per day during contest duration (1 additional entry per day of status updates).

Contest Duration:

The contest will run from 12:00pm, Monday, May 24, 2010 to 11:59 pm, Friday, June 4, 2010.


Eligibility:

You must be a resident of the United States or have a valid U.S. mailing address.


Good luck!


Official Product Information:
In time for the 2010 season, eager young baseball fans can play rain or shine with Atari’s all-new Backyard Sports: Sandlot Sluggers video game for Xbox360, Wii™, and Nintendo DS™ shipping out May 25, 2010. Based on one of the best selling kids’ sports videogame series, Backyard Sports: Sandlot Sluggers allows players to join their favorite neighborhood friends and play ball in fun and exciting arcade style sports action. Sandlot Sluggers, developed by HB Studios, is a completely new take on a longtime favorite franchise with all-new features, updated graphics, enhanced gameplay, and extensive options that will keep players and gamers alike enthusiastically entertained.


Disclosure: This is not a sponsored post. Neither E.Payne nor MakesMeWannaHoller.com is being compensated in any way for this review or giveaway.

My daughter is settling back into her surroundings here in NYC and only mildly disappointed to see her home boxed and packed up as we prepare for our move in the next few days. She was walking down the hall and spotted a framed collage of pictures of my wife and I (including the inset picture) sitting on her brother's floor.

Daughter: Why is that picture on the floor?

Son: What picture?

Daughter: That picture of mommy's loving day...mommy and daddy's Loving Day?

Me (after coming down the hall): Is that what it's called?

Daughter: Yes, you and mommy's loving day.

I smiled. Out of the mouths of babes.

My loving day is a little more than a month away. Shout out to my friends, Ronnie and Lamar Tyler, the Dynamic Duo over at Black And Married With Kids dot-com who's Loving Day is today.

Never Miss A Post

Last year on Father's Day President Barack Obama gave a campaign speech (sorry, but it was) at my aunt's church in Chicago. He called for Black fathers to stand up and own up to their responsibilities.

I listened to a decent amount of it and even have it posted in the LINKS section of this blog, but I was very distracted --- not because his words weren't profound --- but because he wasn't talking about me.

Two Friday's ago, I got to sit down on a web panel with a couple of great fathers: Fred Goodall of MochaDad.com and Lamar Tyler of BlackAndMarriedWithKids.com. For an hour we discussed our experiences and our opinions on what this whole fatherhood thing entails.

Click the link below to actually hear us in our own words ---
http://blackmomsclub.ning.com/page/do-good-black-fathers-exist

Happy Father's Day!

Subscribe To Makes Me Wanna Holler

Image courtesy of Photobucket.

Just in case you haven't gotten Dad anything yet and you actually intend to, here's a little list of items to help you in your decision making.

Mrs. Fields Father's Day Bites Box with 2 FREE Cookies, only $29.99! Expires 6-19-2009

Juniper Bonsai Plant with Blue Pot, only $29.99! Expires 6-19-2009

Braided Money Tree with Terra Cotta Pot Included, only $29.99! Expires 6-19-2009

Or, if you believe flowers will do the trick:

Father's Day Savings – Save 10% on any purchase and 15% on orders $39.99+ at ProFlowers! Expires 6-19-2009


If you know a Father-To-Be or a very new father consider lending him a hand with one or both of the following books:


This book is, in my opinion, what The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips and Advice for Dads-to-Be was not: funny as hell!


The author of Hapless Papa is donating 100% of the royalties from the first 500 books sold to Alex's Lemonade Stand, a foundation committed to finding a cure for childhood cancer.

Hope this helps...
Subscribe To Makes Me Wanna Holler

Subscribe To Makes Me Wanna Holler