A little levity as we cruise into Labor Day Weekend. I do not intend to offend with this clip. In many cases it is so undeniably true.



Happy 1st Day of September!

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Just in case you haven't noticed there is a new video in the sidebar of this blog. It is the trailer for a documentary in which I had the honor of briefly appearing. Aside from me, the message is powerful, but more importantly, timely. There are men out there, good, honest, hardworking, loving, protective, responsible men!

Presenting the latest Tyler New Media production, Men Ain't Boys. Check it out and hopefully when it comes to your town you'll be in line at the theater to watch it.




E.Payne is the author of Investing In An Emotional Letdown and I Didn't Invented Sex. For the past 3 years he has posted 600+ articles about fatherhood, marriage and everything in between here at Makes Me Wanna Holler.com. To learn more, click here.

I recently paid a visit to Nerd Girl. It is one of the many blogs that I follow quietly as a lurker. A few days ago the author of this site wrote quite honestly of her fear of packs of African American (male) teens as an African American woman living in her city in a post entitled Some of My Best Friends Are Black. The comments were heavy and full of thought-provoking points of view. I'm not much of a commenter although I am a blogger, believe it or not. But with the recent and senseless death of Bobby Tillman at the hands of teens and the daily reports of wanton violence perpetrated by those who are not yet men, I did add my two cents:

"...any microcosm speaks to the state of the macrocosm and I feel that there are no differentiating lines between kids(teens) and adults. There is nothing to aspire to, nothing to mature into when you think you’re grown at 16 and then have no one cutting you down to size [or guide you] as my father did…fathers…when it comes to boys…all boys - the presence of a father (worth his salt) is a stabilizing and sometimes terrifying notion in a boy’s life. But fatherless homes are at epic highs right now particularly in African American communities so these kids, the thugs, the clowns, the jokers are running around unchecked, unsupervised, untrained and sadly unloved so they do what they do. Many times these boys think they are the man of the house because when they were little they were mom’s “lil” man and that never really changed. It’s only after they are apprehended, shot dead, or whatever that the consequences sink in, but why would they in the mind of a child? We hold our black boys in society to the same standard as a rationale thinking adult and we should when the crime fits, but at the crux of it they are kids, completely running off the rails with little to no guidance. Fixing this problem is the real problem. I do my best with my teen who at fifteen is 6’2″ and 3 inches taller than me. Some days he doesn’t like me and many days I wonder if I like him at all, but when he’s grown and has a fully working brain in his head and a sense of his place in this world, we can come together as friends, just like I am with my father…now."

How about you? Are you scared of black boys, white boys, teens in general? If you are a parent of a teen, how do you manage?

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Portions of this No Wedding No Womb Post have been excerpted from the forthcoming book, Bottom Line Fatherhood, by Eric Payne.


A Baby Was Going To Ruin Everything

I was hardly happy when I was told I was going to have a child. In fact, I nearly had a panic attack. My stomach tightened. My mouth dried out. My heart pounded out against my rib cage and I didn’t think there was enough air in the world to fill my lungs. For a second I began to hallucinate that I was asleep dreaming that I was awake.

But this was no dream and I was wide awake. I asked again, just to be sure. My then-girlfriend answered, “Yes,” with stone cold certainty, the way a woman does about these things.

“So what are we gonna do?” I asked, not making even a slight effort to mask the despair in my voice.

She talked about doctors and telling people and some other stuff. By then I was gone, spiraling out of control, down into my own personal hell.

Why me, Lord? I asked in my head. Why now?

There was a very simple, scientific answer to both my questions. But in a moment of panic what man wants to hear the truth? Eventually, I tuned back into my conversation with the now-mother of my child, and I did what any irrational man would do: I began throwing stones of doubt.

Why are you telling me this now…over the phone? Isn’t this something you save for face-to-face?”

Her answer: “I wanted to tell you on Father’s Day (a mere four days later), but I just couldn’t hold it in anymore.”

“Great!” I answered, sarcastically. “How do you know for sure you’re pregnant?”

Her answer: “Eric, I am. Besides I took three home pregnancy tests, just to be sure.”

Even better, I thought, as my heart did somersaults in my stomach. “Well, what made you think you were pregnant in the first place?”

Her answer infuriated me: “It’s funny, you know? You kept asking if I was pregnant (I did because she suddenly began exhibiting strange behavior --- crying for no reason, repeatedly telling me she loved me, etc., etc.) so I began to wonder myself.”

It wasn’t funny at all. In fact it was all my fault. Had I not asked, then maybe she wouldn’t have been pregnant until she really started showing.

“But we only…we’ve only done it once since…” my voice trailed off.

“You’re joking right?” she asked, sharply. “Could you at least try to sound happy?”

“Well, I’ve just gotten comfortable…you know…him accepting me and…I mean…isn’t one enough?” I asked regarding her ten-year old son who would eventually become my son too. “What are we gonna do with a baby?”

“Love this child just like we love the one we already have.”

Her answers were coming too quickly. They were too sure, too certain. Abortion wasn’t an option for either of us. If there were only some kind of way to give it away, I thought. I was losing my mind by the second. In my desperate and sinking campaign for reason, I went somewhere I had no business going: “I don’t want to bring a child into this world with Iraq and everything…” Had I known then what I know now I wouldn’t have even thought what I said.

“What?!! Eric, what the [expletive] are you talking about?! What does any of this have to do with the fact that I just told you that I am pregnant…with your child?”

This was the first of many times I was cursed out for exercising my male rationale during the time my lady was pregnant. My mind was too wrapped up in itself to grasp the overarching depth of her question. I didn’t get that she wanted me to be the father of her second child. I didn’t hear the urgent need in her voice for reassurance nor did I catch its vulnerable tone. I didn’t get that not only was I going to have a child, but from then and forever more I was a father. But at the time I was too busy listening to the racket caused by my fears.

I got off the phone a broken, scared and deranged man. Broken because I thought I knew better and was sure I had been raised better. Scared because even though I was thirty-three, how was I going to tell my traditional God-fearing mother I was going to have a baby out of wedlock? Deranged because I actually got down on my knees and prayed to God and begged Him to take this burden off me and just make it go away like magic.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be a father eventually. But I was a man with plans --- plans that didn’t exactly include a real baby that carried my DNA. I was making good money and saving most of it. I was planning to buy a luxury vehicle at the end of the summer. I was planning to buy a second home and turn the little condo I owned at the time into a rental property. I was planning a summer of romantic getaways with the woman who would be my wife all over the U.S. and Europe. And maybe at the end of the year if all went well between us I planned to pop the question. I wanted to do everything on my terms, as I saw fit, and based on what made sense to me. I was on my way to living the life I had always planned to live, short of being able to fly and owning bulletproof tights. A baby was definitely going to ruin everything.

I continued to pray, beg, babble and even roll around on the floor for the rest of the night until the sun came up. Operating on about fifteen minutes of sleep, I knew things would be better when I spoke to my lady again. I just knew she was going to scream, “April Fools!” even though it was June. We’d laugh. I’d tell her to never scare me like that again and we’d move on.

But she was still pregnant when we spoke. I was surprised she got so upset that I asked. There was no harm in the question. Surely, she had to have known how scared I was. My life was over. I was about to be a father ---- for real.

A New Beginning Filled With Opportunities

No Wedding, No Womb Launch Campaign PSA - September 22, 2010 from Courage Network on Vimeo.

Be sure to stop by the Holler Spot and No Wedding No Womb on Wednesday, September 22nd for my thoughts and opinions and those of 100 other bloggers on this extremely important issue. In the meantime please, share, Tweet, Retweet, Facebook, etc. this post and the above video to get the word out!

As of today, Black and Married With Kids received the 2010 Black Weblog Award for Best Parenting & Family Blog. I would like to take my hat is off to what I affectionately call my Big Sister site. Many of you are here reading me today as a result of wandering over here from that amazing and multifaceted site which provides positive images, positive role models for kids and adults alike, great discussions and so much more on Parenting, Marriage and Relationships. I am proud of them and consider it a privilege and an honor to be a staff writer for that site and I am glad that I have been able to be a cog in the machine that is Lamar and Ronnie Tyler's (the husband and wife founders) continual ascension into the ranks of the mainstream.

Congratulations!

To see the list of all the 2010 Black Weblog Award winners and all the amazing and diverse blogs out there by and about people of color, click here.


There's a new book on Fatherhood coming to a store or e-reader near you! Add your name to list of people who want to see it happen. Please "Like" Bottom Line Fatherhood and count yourself as one who supports positive outlooks on the Dad Life.

I've got a dilemma on my hands. Rather than complain about it, or feel helpless against it, I've decided to address it proactively.

But I need your help. That's right, yours.

If I ever had an ulterior motive for this blog it hasn't been to present some false image of myself as a Man, Dad, or Husband. It hasn't been to troll for tail behind the scenes or have any of my loyal readers validate me. If I need validation anywhere, it's in the real world and not cyberspace.

What is my validation a.k.a. ulterior motive? A non self-published book. A thing made of either paper or electronic ink with a title and my name on the byline.

That's it. Nothing more. Oh and illustrating through stories that men can really love their children, wives and families as a totality and have their own struggles in the meantime. So I wrote a proposal and created a tentative book title, Bottom Line Fatherhood - Bottom Line Manhood (they are pretty much one in the same), I prospected for a literary agent, sparked the interest of one, sent her my proposal, she sent me edits to make what I am proposing stronger and more salable in the marketplace, I sent back my revisions, she likes it and now it just...

...sits...somewhere in the land of being pigeonholed as a "Black Book."

In leafing through the pages of this blog, the source material for my impending book, I can hardly note what makes my book project a black book except for my "black" skin (my daughter says, "You're not black! You're brown!"). My male readership here on the blog represents a rainbow coalition of individuals scattered throughout the US in the 35-44 demographic. My female readers are considerably more weighted toward African American and women of color in the 25-44 demo. Probably because with all the negative imagery, speekery and proofery in our culture, I am an oddity, an African American man willing to bear my soul for no real reason at all. I hear that I help women understand what is going on with their own men. If that's true I'm glad I could help.

But that still doesn't make what I write "Black" except during those anecdotal moments when I've specifically referenced racist (or at least ignorant) behavior toward me and/or my family. I write based on what God puts on my heart to write, and sometimes I write for the sake of staying fresh and relevant. Either way I don't write in color.

But even if I did, what's wrong with that? What's wrong with a positive representative of a subset of the population that has been perverted to a degree of nearly inconceivable, foolish and criminal misogyny. People of color would snap up the book and mainstream population would read it for the sake of furthering their own knowledge of said subset, to argue the validity for better or worse over coffee or at dinner parties. Ever read Stuff White People Like?

So here I am stuck at GO with what you and I know is a valid product. Raw, uncensored, unshielded fatherhood told from a first person point of view.

So what do we need to do with My Little Black Book?

I would ask that you make this post and this blog go viral. Tweet and retweet, ask to retweet aka "PLS RT", Facebook and Digg and Stumble and Ping and anything else you might have in your social media revolver. And then there's good old email.

I do want to do this for my own personal validation, but I'd also like to donate partial proceeds to a worthwhile cause such as the National Fatherhood Initiative. (They owe me an email also.)

But apparently I can't do this if only notable Black people endorse me. (I'm sure this wouldn't be the case if I had Essence Magazine on my side, or Oprah! - man can dream can't he?) I gotta throw some white folks in the mix. This will be probably one of the only times you read me mentioning race here for the year. Let's make August, my best month all year, go out with a true BANG!

Help me make my movement viral, so that it can become re-al.

Please? (As I always tell my daughter to put at the end of any of her requests.)

Thank you!


There's a new book on Fatherhood coming to a store or e-reader near you! Add your name to list of people who want to see it happen. Please "Like" Bottom Line Fatherhood and count yourself as one who supports positive outlooks on the Dad Life.

Well it's that time of year again...nomination time for the 2010 Black Weblog Awards. Last year I was a finalist in the Best Parenting Blog category. An admirable finish for a first time parenting blogger. But this year I've opted to take a different route.

Over and over again, you, my ever-supportive readers, have commented to me about the quality of my writing --- its candidness and it's depth. After I reviewed the categories this year I personally opted not add this blog's name to the Best Parenting Blog category. If there should ever come a day when there is a Best Dad Blog category, maybe. But until then, the moms have the parenting category on lock. Call me pessimistic. I call it as I see it.

Truthfully as this is merely a nominating period, feel free to nominate my blog for whatever you like, should you choose to nominate me at all. However, if you would be so kind, I'm asking that you nominate me for the 2010 Black Weblog Awards in the following two categories (both, not just one).

1. Best Personal Blog
2. Best Writing In A Blog

If you didn't notice the link above that takes you to the nomination page, then please click here.

We'll see how it all shakes out when the finalists in each category are announced on July 25th.

Thanks! And have a happy & safe July 4th!



Want to get more day to day, hour to hour musings from E.Payne? Then please "Like" the Makes Me Wanna Holler Facebook Page and join the movement. You won't be disappointed.

Yesterday, I had a conversation with a former colleague of mine from a job prior to my last one. She was let go approximately a year ago. It was eerie listening to what she had to say as her views --- the crumbling optimism, the sharp sarcasm, her embracing the beauty of the simplicity of life, her extreme distaste for the roller coaster ride of anticipation that comes with applying, interviewing and then being rejected again and again, or not even receiving a response at all. Word for word, she sound almost exactly like me. The only difference between she and I is that she is a middle aged Irish woman with kids in college. And I am not.

I stumbled across a song that resonated with me a little while back and is definitely resonating with me now. It's the theme music for the HBO series, How To Make It In America. I Need A Dollar, by Aloe Blacc. He sounds like he's spent a lot of time listening to Bill Withers. Or maybe he's just blessed that way.

Although things aren't as dire as Mr. Blacc paints in his song (Please note: I prefer the clip below to the official video that cuts the song off before it actually finishes), it definitely rings familiar.

To all the unemployed out there doing your best to maintain your spiritual, emotional, financial and physical well being...keep your head up. Don't give up.



To add this song to your personal collection check out the right hand column of this blog.

Peace.

It's no secret that there is a dearth of active and committed African American fathers in the African American families. One out of every two children in the United States will live in a single-parent family at some time before they reach age 18. According the United States Census Bureau, in 2002 about 20 million children lived in a household with only their mother or their father. 16.5 million or 23 percent of all children were living with their single mother. This group included 48 percent of all African-American children, 16 percent of all non-Hispanic white children, 13 percent of Asian/Pacific Islander children, and 25 percent of children of Hispanic origin.

Wow!

Of course these figures can be broken down further to explain that some of these households are homes that contain two unmarried adults, but this is only a some. On it's face, 48% of all African-American children were living with their single mom's in 2002. We won't know what the final tally is for the coming census numbers, but if the negative is trending as positively as it has been for the past several years, things don't look good.

Or do they? In the midst of miserable statistics there are always champions fighting to reverse the tide.

One such person is author, activist, psychotherapist and film producer, Dwayne L. Buckingham. He has released a new film, "A Black Man’s Worth! Conqueror and Head of Household.”

In his film, Buckingham captures the most thought-provoking and heart-felt stories ever told by Black males who have experienced the negative and disheartening consequences of growing up in fatherless households. As a Black male who grew up in a fatherless household, Buckingham personally experienced the psychological, social and economic hardships most commonly experienced by Black males who are forced to cope with this harsh phenomenon and has dedicated his life to preventing the vicious fatherless cycle from reoccurring. Buckingham strives to provide Black males with the knowledge and skills essential to establishing and maintaining a positive and productive household.



This movie promises to be an eye-opener and something that can be discussed for days and weeks to come long after Father's Day 2010 has been forgotten.


ENTER TO WIN YOUR VERY OWN COPY OF A BLACK MAN'S WORTH!

Just in time for Father's Day, I'm pleased to be able to give away one (1) A Black Man’s Worth! Conqueror and Head of Household package which includes one (1) DVD, (1) accompanying book and one (1) A Black Man's Worth t-shirt. The Winner will be selected using Random.org.



CONTEST RULES:

MANDATORY ENTRY:

• You MUST leave a comment here as to why you want this DVD package or to whom you'd like to give it to as a gift.

Additional Entries (each count as an individual entry):

• You can "LIKE" the A Black Man's Worth Facebook Page. (You MUST let me know here in the comments section of THIS post in order for this additional entry to be counted.)
• You can leave a comment (of your choosing) on the A Black Man's Worth Facebook Page. (You MUST let me know here in the comments section of THIS post in order for this additional entry to be counted.)
• You can follow Subscbribe via RSS or Email to this log. Make sure you let me know in the comments section below.
• Join the Makes Me Wanna Holler Facebook Fan Page (there is an additional perk for the 250th fan of my Facebook Fan Page) Make sure you let me know in the comments section below.
• Become a Follower of this blog on Google Friend Connect (see the right hand column of this page). Make sure you let me know in the comments section below.

Contest Duration:

The contest will run from 1:00pm (PST), Thursday, June 10, 2010 to 11:59 am, Tuesday, June 15, 2010 (PST).


Eligibility:

All entrants in this contest must be a resident of the United States or have a valid United States mailing address.

Official Product Info:

Please visit R.E.A.L. Horizons Consulting Services, LLC

Disclosure: This is not a sponsored post. Neither E.Payne nor MakesMeWannaHoller.com has been compensated in any way for this post or giveaway.

This is my 2nd R.I.P in less than 30 days...20 actually.

Lena Horne was a rebel. Like the women who preceded, birthed and raised my father and his siblings she was born during a particularly awful time (I'm sure someone could say the same about right now). She was a walking contradiction --- beautiful but black, as if the two couldn't exist together. And like the women on my father's side she had the option to pass herself off as anything but black or African American and she opted not to. In fact Lena Horne was outspoken --- to the detriment of her Hollywood career --- against the absolutely outrageous social structure in place that was fine with the majesty of her her performances existing for the entertainment of whites, but absolutely against her as a person rubbing elbows in these circles. Miles Davis' answer to this was to play with his back to his audiences --- a most indignant but hilarious response in this writer's humble opinion.

Thank God she had a singing voice and was able to break down doors in spite of those who slowed down her Hollywood career for being "uppity."

Growing up, I couldn't wrap my mind around how beautiful Lena Horne was. And the fact that she was Black made her an anomaly among anomalies...how sad...

Thank God I grew up, woke up, met family, traveled and learned to view the world with eyes wide open. By my teenage years I understood that beauty and talent is reserved for no one ethnicity, tribe, country, gang, clique, whatever. God intended it that way when He started putting people all over the planet like chess pieces.





Lena Horne --- a real life, ageless, lifetime legend in my lifetime. Wow! I most humbly bow my head in respect.

Rest In Peace.

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I first heard this song during the outtro to Mo' Better Blues...



...and I thought to myself, What the hell is this?

As a rabid fan of rap/hip hop in the nineties, I didn't get the jazz thing. Of course jazz was the undercurrent behind many of the samples of the day but this was straight jazz, not a hook, not a loop, but just rap and jazz.

Slowly but surely Gangstarr began to grow on me and the majority of hip hop. Before long nearly everyone from Black Moon to KRS One was rhyming over some arrangement of horns, bass and saxophone.

From that point forward anytime I heard the signature sound of DJ Premier followed by the unmistakable gravelly, ever-steady monotone of GURU (Gifted Unlimited Rhymes Universal) I went crazy, bobbing my head with my eyes closed, absorbing every word and note. He was "dropping science", talking about what it meant to be a real man, a real person and society's ills; and slamming hip hop back then for what it has become today.



And then came Jazzmatazz --- a masterstroke that set him apart from everyone --- a 4 album series of pure live jazz produced by heavyweights such as Marsalis, Byrd, Hancock and Hayes (Isaac) and hip hop. The earlier volumes were packaged to look like Blue Note recordings. It persists as some of the best music I've ever heard and when I run across it on my iPod, I'm transported back to the time when I heard it for the first time.



GURU, born Keith Elam, passed away this past Monday from what is being reported as cancer (multiple myeloma and related respiratory issues). What I didn't know while he was alive was that he was a native of Boston, grad school educated and had a father who was a judge, nor did I know his former DJ was a native of Houston. It's amazing what you learn about a person in death. But I choose to celebrate his life and the music that will live on in me and now my son who loves DWYCK, another one of his classics with Nice and Smooth.

Rest In Peace, GURU.

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There's more than just me (man, dad, husband) out here typing into cyberspace. I figure it's about time I begin to showcase some of them for you, my most loyal readers. Hopefully you'll check them out and subscribe to their blogs also.

First on the list of my new Father In Focus series is a blogging buddy who goes by the handle Mocha Dad. For my interview with him, please continue reading.


EP: Where do you live? What's your occupation?
MD: I live in Houston, TX. My occupation is Health, Safety, and Environmental Director.


EP: How many children do you have, how long have you been married?
MD: I have three children (ages 8, 5, 2) and I have been married for 12 years.


EP: When did you start blogging and what inspires you to blog?
MD: I started blogging in August of 2008 to counter the negative stereotypes regarding black fatherhood. I wanted people to get a first hand account of a black father who is intimately involved in his children’s lives. My children inspire me to continue blogging. I want
to use my blog as a historical document that chronicles their lives. When they become adults, they will have a tangible document that charts their growth, development and special moments to share with their children.


EP: What does being a dad mean to you? How does being a man of color impact this?
MD: Being a dad means being fully involved in your kids’ lives. Many dads rely on their wives to handle all the details of their children lives, but when they do this, they miss out on bonding opportunities. Kids grow up so fast. I spend as much time with them as I can because I don’t want to have any regrets when they are adults. I like to take my kids shopping, visit them and their teachers throughout the school year, and play games with them. Something as simple as reading a book together makes a huge difference in a child’s life.

I don’t think that race has anything to do with being a dad. I’ve spoken with fathers of all races and our challenges are the same – protecting our children, providing for our children, giving them a set of values, and teaching our children how to be productive citizens. Of course, many black dads grew up without fathers as role models; consequently, many of us are winging it. But we cannot use that as an excuse to shirk our responsibilities. Dads have to be committed to their families in order for them to be successful. Part of that commitment requires sacrifices and some men, regardless of race, are unwilling to make those sacrifices. Fatherhood is difficult, but it is also the most rewarding job we’ll ever have.

One thing that bothers me is that people congratulate me when they see me out with my kids. They say things like, “It’s good to see a black man out with his kids,” or “You’re a great dad.” I’m not seeking any accolades because I spend time with my kids. I’m just doing my job as a parent. I’m looking forward to the day when seeing a black man spending time with his kids won’t be such a novelty.


EP:What are the challenges, the perks of modern-day living with a family?
MD: Raising kids now is much more difficult than it was I was I growing up. Kids have so many distractions and so many more ways to get into trouble. It is important to find a balance between protecting our children and allowing them to find their own way in the world. That’s why it is important to have a both parents involved in raising children. Men and women have different perspectives about certain things and kids benefit because of these different perspectives. My
wife is much more protective than I am. I have to balance her protectiveness with my desire to let the kids explore the world and even fail in order to develop their personalities. Together we can usually come up with a decision that is right for that particular child.

One of the perks of being a father is coming home each day to a chorus of “DADDY’S HOME!!!!” and receiving big hugs from each of my three children and my wife.


EP: What has been one of your most memorable moments as a father? As a husband?
MD: My most memorable moments as a father and as a husband have been the births of each of my children. Those moments will forever live in my memory.


EP: What advice/recommendation would you give to someone about to become a
father and/or husband?
MD: One problem that many parents encounter is that they place their children before their marriage. All parents need to make their marriage a priority. Make time to nurture that relationship before any other. Children are more secure when they can see that their parents’ have a strong relationship.

Also fathers need to make sure that they are available to their family. We all fall into the trap where we think our main role is to provide for our family. Therefore, we neglect our family because we are too busy working. We must remember that taking care of our families is our most important job. Taking care of our families is much more than just providing for their financial needs. We have to address our families’ emotional and spiritual needs as well.


EP: If you could accomplish anything through your blogging, what would that be?
MD: I’d like to inspire other fathers to be more involved in their children’s lives. I don’t intend to portray myself as a perfect father because I have several faults. I just hope that people can read my blog and see that I’m just a flawed human being who is working to do his best with the gifts, talents, and blessings that God has bestowed upon me.


Thanks, Mocha Dad!


Where you will find Mocha Dad:
His Blog: Mocha Dad
His Review Site: The Mocha Dad Review
Twitter: Mocha Dad on Twitter


Never Miss A Post

I almost forgot that I was in Orlando at Disney World with my, then pregnant girlfriend, my son-to-be and two of his friends when Katrina touched down. Although we were clearly out of the storm's path, the weather was horrendous during our time there.

Now that I remember this actually happened 4 years ago, I'm taken back to the pure astonishment followed by anger that I felt as I watched sections of New Orleans literally being washed away, wondering to myself not why it was happening, but how --- to the extent that it did.

Countless volunteers and benefactors are making life better than it was during those surreal times. But life still isn't what it should be down there. Keep you head up, N.O. Your day is coming. Hopefully we'll be alive to see it...






Never Miss A Post

CAST YOUR VOTE BY 8/31/09

I blinked and we were in August. I blinked again and now August is just days from being a thing of the past...

But before we see August 2009 on it's way into posterity lets make it a month to remember...

Let us all cast our vote for MakesMeWannaHoller.com, a finalist for the 2009 Black Weblog Awards in the category of Best Parenting & Family Blog...

Let us vote to preserve democracy, because if you don't vote for me, one of the other esteemed finalists will win...

Let us vote because it is Friday and after lunch your mind will be soup as far as dealing with whatever is sitting in front of you at your desk, so you might as well...

Let us vote because who knew a little, shy and sheltered boy from the South Side Chicago would grow up to be a loving father and husband in NYC and crank out 330+ blog posts about it...

Let us vote because it's been too long that men, (especially men of color) have been portrayed, across the board, as cold, distant and not committed to family...

A vote for MakesMeWannaHoller.com is a vote for all the anonymous, committed fathers, husbands and men out there who get up every day, seeking nothing more than doing the best that they can for their families and their communities...

For me, not only is this a vote for the best Parenting and Family blog, but it's also a glowing endorsement of Fatherhood.

If you like what you read here, please vote. You've got until 11:59pm on 8/31/09. If your browser at work doesn't allow you to, then try it when you get home.

Peace.


CAST YOUR VOTE BY 8/31/09

Never Miss A Post

Set in the present-day Democratic Republic of the Congo, Ruined follows a young woman's nightmarish path to Mama Nadi, a savvy businesswoman who—in the midst of a complex civil war— both protects and profits from the women whose bodies have become battlegrounds. At once heartbreaking and captivating, Ruined pays homage to the courageous and resilient women who must piece themselves together after the ruin.

Source: Theatre In Chicago

I had the absolute pleasure of seeing this wonderful play last night as the guest one of my former acting teachers (and now friend) from Harlem School of the Arts. Aside from the amazing Pulitzer Prize winning playwright, Lynn Nottage's emotionally wrenching and almost impossibly layered and textured work, and the amazing multifaceted performances put on by all the actors - I was especially tickled because I met nearly all of the cast a week earlier at my friend's home. It was an intimate little gathering where they dined, chatted casually and played...Taboo.

Ruined is an amazing play complete with some of the best actors I've seen. And as someone who's seen many plays on Broadway (numbering in the double-digits), I was knocked off my feet by this slick, Off-Broadway production.

Ruined's Condola Rashad (Sophie) & Quincy Tyler Bernstine (Salima)

If you're into the theatre, this is one you don't want to miss. It's curtain closes on September 6th of this year. There's still time for those of you who are in New York City or intend to visit in the coming days. Purchase your tickets for Ruined here and be a witness to something very beautiful.

Peace...





Never Miss A Post

A little while ago a friend sent me the following in an email. At first, I was caught off guard because he's not the religious type. But you don't have to be (or Christian for that matter) in order to get the gist of this. But praise Him all the same.



























We complain about the cross we bear but don't realize it is preparing us for the dip in the road that we cannot see.


Happy Monday! Make it a great week!




Never Miss A Post

I'm back from my sightseeing visit to Hotlanta --- it was in the high 80s the entire time I was there and most of the folks I met were relieved that it was cool. (...) I got to connect with old friends, briefly hang out in Buckhead, peruse the National Black Arts Festival and catch a really interesting flick called, Jerusalema, oh and of how could I forget...I watched the debut episode of this season's Housewives of Atlanta in a living room with about 20 people yelling at the television. I'm happy to be back in the Belly of The Beast, otherwise known as NYC, but I do miss the view from 23 stories up, through the floor-to-ceiling windows of my room at the W Midtown. Thank God for rewards points.

Imagine my surprise, when I found out just after midnight that I made the cut! I am a finalist for the 2009 Black Weblog Awards!!! The category I landed was Best Parenting and Family Blog.

What happens now?

There are two votes, one by a panel of judges and one by you, the wonderful readers of Makes Me Wanna Holler. Show your love (or basic appreciation) between now and August 31, by casting your vote, here. Since it's the finals, it's a little more involved than the nomination round.

I have to say I'm happy, because I typically don't get selected for doo-doo. But thank you for all the support! It's because of you, that I'm on this list. It is truly a blessing to be recognized this far.

Keep reading and I hope to have some interesting stuff this week to make you smile, make you thirsty, and maybe make you holler.

Peace!

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Two Fridays ago the Tooth Fairy paid me a visit

But I'm grown, so of course, I wasn't with it.

She was pretty with long hair and these eerie light eyes.

She spoke with an accent and her voice had a smile.

She told her assistant to take a mold of this one particular tooth

In it was my very first cavity, discovered well beyond my youth.

But this one tooth, the only one of it's kind,

Has gotten worse and worse and become a thorn in my side.

I didn't know anything was wrong, you see very little hurts me,

But my tooth fairy said, "You haven't noticed it turning gray? Look, see?"

And so I relented and I gave up my fight,

I came back a week later, pissed off and tight.

They strapped me down and made me watch Madagascar 2

They shot me up with Novocaine and hammered away at that tooth,

And hammer they did, so ungodly and inhumane,

Surely man could invent something better than this --- this is insane!

I laughed at the lion, the giraffe, Chris Rock and Moto Moto,

I wondered quietly, "Is there anything left, or is my tooth gone in total?"

My tooth fairy, so sweet, so fair and so vicious,

Told me she was done and leaving me with her assistant.

I refused to move my tongue to feel the contours of the stump,

Then she stuffed my mouth with nasty gum and I drooled and drooled and drooled.

Dignity be damned, dignity be gone I wondered how much longer,

I did not want to hang on.

I couldn't feel the left side of my face,

And from the sounds of it my tooth had been disgraced.

But one, two, three, and few quick presses and a snap,

I had a brand new tooth called a temporary as a matter of fact.

Hollywood, here I come, I believe I just got my first veneer.

And 2 weeks from now it will be permanent, made of porcelain, I hear.

I walked out of the office violated and handled,

My tooth fairy waved goodbye, winked and smiled at me in shambles.

And I thought to myself...That monster is kinda fine.

Photo Source: Flickr

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