I used to believe my ability to make decisions, the careful deliberateness of the whole thing was based on my thoroughness. Not only did I believe this but it was seconded by a close friend and frat brother who felt the same of himself.

During my marriage this deliberateness hasn't always proved to be desirable to my other half. In fact it was the source of much resentment of me by her a few years back. To which I shrugged my shoulders and thought Deal with it.

But at nearly forty-one I know differently now now that I've been around long enough to start looking backwards. Long enough to connect dots that once were just scattered points in my timeline.

I realize now that my decision making has had less to do with deliberation and more to do with inability. As a child all of my decisions were made for me, as they should have been outside of maybe choices in candy, some toys and maybe colors of pants. As a teen all of my decisions were made for me, as I'm not do sure they should have been. I have a very loving but a very controlling father who in his desire for me to succeed may have removed from me a critical tool to succeed: the ability to choose.

(From the top left: recipe 2, recipe 8, recipe 10, recipe 6)

1. Coconut Curry Chicken recipe by Chef Michelle
2. Chicken Roulade (Stuffed with Spinach and Goat Cheese) recipe by Chef Michelle
3. Chicken and Broccoli Curry Casserole recipe by Y. Harper
4. Chicken Cacciatore recipe by Rachael Ray
5. Pecan Chicken recipe by Paula Dean
6. Stuffed Chicken Breasts with Rosemary-Orange Dressing (for the Grill) recipe by Bon Appetit
7. Mustard Chicken Salad recipe by Ina Garten
8. Crispy Chicken Cutlets recipe by Jennifer Hess from Last Night’s Dinner
9. Chicken Quesadilla recipe by Guy Fieri
10. Chicken , Sausage and Red Pepper Paella recipe by Thirschfeld

 

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Now that everyone should know that Gabby Douglas won the Gold in the Individual All Around for gymnastic I'd like to congratulate her for:

1. accomplishing a dream; 
2. doing it and doing it well for the United States; 
3. busting down any previous stereotype that African Americans can't be successful gymnasts when put to the test; and finally 
4. for unknowingly being a positive role model of strength, grace and class to a world of girls of all colors, my daughter included.

Onwards, Gabby. The sky is the limit!

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My son is entering hide senior year of high school. This is it! He is in his final stretch. With that said, I am doing my best to empower him financially before he begins to make his journey into adulthood. As you may know, I set up his checking account and experienced a few hiccups shortly thereafter, but eventually I got him (and everyone else) thinking straight. And then the summer came. And then his birthday came.

And then he went crazy.

I was a teen once so I can't say I don't understand, but I didn't have the access to adult playthings that he or any kid does theses days so I don't understand. After his birthday he did an amazing thing: he poured all his gift money and then some money that was meant for him to actually use and went on a five day spending spree that reached nearly $1,000. He was away at the time, of course, safely out of the naysaying reach of mom and dad. The kicker though? When the smoke cleared he didn't have a bag full of goodies. He had only three things, still had $200 in the bank and had the nerve to send me a text asking for $20 via bank transfer so he could buy some food. I laughed, called him to tell him he had some nerve and said no.

It could've been worse I suppose. He could've been using a credit card. That's what I did back in my day.

As a man there are bills you simply don't want to pay. You don't believe they deserve to be paid. They are a waste of time, money (the point in the first place) and usually brain cells.

If I'm on-time with anything in my life it's bill-paying. Yet month after month I forget to pay my infernal cable bill until one day the television is no longer working. I never want to pay to have it turned back on. NEVER.

But...

If the TV were to ever stay off for more than 24 hours, then the kids that live here might begin to wonder, Why is the TV no longer working? What is wrong? They don't even watch that much television but to have something and then make the leap that something isn't operating due to an error on my part... Then wife will be standing somewhere nearby with her arms folded glaring at me with a look on her face that screams, What are you doing to my kids?

As a father I have no desire to shield my kids from the uglier truths that life occasionally shares, but in my home I want them to be as secure as is physically, emotionally and financially manageable. And so I pay, so that the above question will never be raised. That is, until the day we have a family meeting and announce that we are doing away with television.

A man can dream, right?

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No matter how you pronounce it they are absolutely delish this time of year!

I screwed up royally last week, passing on a high-paying opportunity and then feeling worse when I tried to backtrack off my initial stance. I sealed my fate the second I opened my mouth and probably epoxy-super-glued it when I came back to backtrack. I spent about 18 hours feeling like I had failed and well, I had. I did everything you're not supposed to do --- I was honest about my feelings and what I wanted. But in the midst of my self-admonishment an idea sprang forth directly based on that failure and now I have a crystallized game-plan, one that might be the most solid I've ever had. One I can pitch and talk about in my sleep. No more convincing myself first in hopes that I'll convince someone else. Thanks failure! Out of the womb of failure, success is born. (As long as you don't stay trippin' over the failure part).

Stay tuned.

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