What Women Want: A Recap of the What A Single Woman Wants Series

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A couple months back I launched a guest blogger series, What A Single Woman Wants, as an opportunity to share with us, tired and dusty married folk, what people on the front lines of romance are seeking. I wasn't sure what the call for writers would produce. The response was great. I then thought I was going to have to sit and edit, edit, edit. Instead I was blown away by the well crafted, thoughtful pieces I received. I was equally surprised by readers' response. Traffic was heavy for each post and it confirmed my site demographics --- the women far outnumber the men as far as readership here and when given the opportunity to voice their opinions, they will. If I was disappointed by any one thing it would have to be another function of these same demographics. The call for single women writers was open to anyone, and many did inquire, but in the end only African American women submitted articles. I believe love and the natural pursuit/happenings of love knows no color, class or nationality. Personally, I would've enjoyed hearing the thoughts of those who are white, Latina, Asian, pink, purple and polka dot in more than just the comments. Most of the experiences recorded here at Makes Me Wanna Holler - Man, Dad, Husband are common to all. Therefore, this blog is open to all.

So for the finale of this series I opted to change the title to What Women Want because single or married, the overarching sentiments expressed by these six single women can be applied to women in general. In fact, not only did these sentiments trump marital status, they trumped gender as well. What these women want in their man-to-be, everyone wants or has wanted in a partner at one point or another. This is their reminder to us all. Ladies and gentlemen, please get your pens and notepads ready.


Six Single Ladies on What Women Want:


TO BE PREPARED FOR THE ONE

Diamonte Hamlett says...

“Chivalry is alive and well; it’s just in all the men that women do not want”. [told to her by a man behind the register at McDonald's]

I was speechless. His statement was both a prophetic and descriptive analysis of my life at that point in time and even up until very recently. I had to admit to myself, several men had crossed my path and embodied many of attributes we as women say we want. These men were honest, thoughtful, romantic, unselfish, successful, committed, understanding, communicative, well adjusted and spiritual. While I wanted those qualities, I did not particularly want it from those men...

When someone asks me what I want, I am wise enough to admit that I do not know what I want. It has become clear that this journey is less about what I want and more about how I plan to be a person of sound enough character to handle it once it manifests.

If we allow it, singleness can lead us to a love that exceeds our greatest expectations and colors outside of the lines of our best drafted list.

Click here to read the rest of Diamonte's guest post.


CONFIDENCE

Brooke Dean says....

What draws me to a man like a moth to a flame is confidence. No, I don’t mean arrogance or cockiness. It’s not something that can be learned or faked. He either has it or he doesn’t. And I don’t just mean in the workplace, or in the bedroom or on the court. A man with true confidence displays it in all aspects of his life, even if not on a constant basis. In most cases, it needs to be generally present in the face of life’s challenges.

Click here to read the rest of Brooke's guest post.


COMPANIONSHIP & CAMARADERIE

Wynella Reid says...

Most days, I want nothing more than someone to greet me either when I get home from work or come in the door after me and wrap his arms around my waist while I change out of my work clothes. At other times I long for someone for whom I can prepare a great meal because I love to cook. (I want a man that I can fatten up so that no one else will want him. hah-hah). I would also like someone to do boy things with my boys. It’s a given that if you want to be with me you have to want to be with my boys. After all, if you want the cat you have to take the kittens too. At other times while the boys are in bed I want him to be the person with whom I can watch silly flicks or foreign films while cuddling on the couch.

Click here to read the rest of Wynella's guest post.


UNCONDITIONAL SUPPORT A.K.A. THE ONE-MAN PEP BAND

Veronica Miller says...

We all have our esoteric interests. So it’s not loving dance that’s important to me; it’s knowing that I love it and honoring that fact. The boyfriend couldn’t tell me the difference between a plié and a jeté, but that lack of knowledge didn't hold a candle to what he gave me. And in those moments of self-doubt and anxiety, that support is crucial. It could be the difference between a great audition, or falling flat on the floor.

When a woman has a one-man pep band playing for her, she feels like she can take on the world --- and whether she wins or not, she gets to come home to someone who’s still cheering, regardless.

Click here to read the rest of Veronica's guest post.


TO BE THE ONE YOU DREAMED OF

RaN'ae Bacon says...

What we really want is the opportunity to be everything to you as well. We want to be your lover, your best friend, your motivator, your #1 cheerleader, your hot chick that makes your friends jealous and your voice of reason. Most of all we want someone that wants and needs all of this from us. We want our man to appreciate and believe when we say, “Baby, you got this, because I got you!”

Click here to read the rest of RaN'ae's guest post.


TO LOVE & BE LOVED

Calandra Hackney says...

I had to ask myself do I exhibit the same attributes. In order to receive you have to give. Am I generous in my daily life? And I’m not talking monetarily. Do I give love, a nice thought, a blessing, do a good deed? And as far as spirituality I had to ask if I was being my best spiritual self. In order for anything that you ask for to manifest itself you to have to be what it is you are asking for. If you want love you have to be love. If you want things created in your life you have to be creative.

What single women want varies especially when we get down to specifics and type and all that good stuff but I believe at the core we are all looking for unconditional love in the mate that we are asking for and that love must first start from within. Once we are loving ourselves and operating through love, not fear, anything is possible.

Click here to read the rest of Calandra's post.


I hope this was as enjoyable for you as it was for me. We (myself and the single ladies) would love to hear your thoughts and opinions on this series in the comments section of this post.

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