Web Toolbar by Wibiya


The Weekly Recap Including Halloween Downloads

The Most Tweeted & Liked At MMWH.com:

What A Single Woman Wants: Part 6

Announcing my Friday Recap of My Favorite Commercials of the Week (all seen while watching the NBA on TNT):

Featuring the Real World and Real World Issues:

Featuring the Not-So Real World & Sheer Ridiculousness (shout out to my Chicago Bulls):

Featuring the Impossible-If-Not-Ludicrous-Futuristic-Sci-Fi-Satisfying-My-Serious-Inner-Geek (Warning: Mild Violence):

Happy Halloween! If you celebrate it feel free to click here to download Marvel Superhero masks for you and the family!

Have You Subscribed Yet? * Are You On Facebook? * Do You Tweet?


What A Single Woman Wants: Part 6

A few weeks back I got to thinking, what if I had a few single women speak on what a single woman wants in a relationship? It would be the perfect opportunity for us folks in the married club to get a check-up. To either take stock on what we have or take note on where we as men might be falling short. After all, it may seem as if it were ancient history but once upon a time our wives were single too!

I hope you like this installment as much as I do. I'll say why at another date and time so as to not steal her thunder. Who is "her"? She's Veronica Miller and she's bringing a whole lot to the Holler Spot just as all our guest bloggers have...

What a Single Woman Wants? The One-Man Pep Band
by Veronica Miller
Veronica Marche
I came home exhausted. I signed up for a weekend-long dance convention, and came home from the first day, spent and reeling from the five hours of classes. Five hours of popping, jumping, sliding, 5,6,7,8-ing. At the time, I had a part-time job as a kids’ dance teacher, and I’d decided to go to the convention to pick up some fresh for my 8-year-old students. Who knew I’d wear out my arms during a crash course on locking? And who knew I’d be taking class with people who’d been in movies, on stage and on TV? I’m just a girl from Pittsburgh that likes to move. It was exhausting, overwhelming, and exhilarating all at once.

I shared all this on my nightly phone call with the guy I was dating at the time. It was a long-distance romance, but we chatted for hours on end each night. That night, I collapsed on my bed, exhaling. “I’m so exhausted, babe!”

“But you love it,” he said. “You’re tired but you had a great time.”

I smiled. “I know...I took this awesome class with Dave Scott, and he --”

“Wait, who?”

I smiled. I forgot my boyfriend didn’t exactly have an encyclopedic knowledge of choreographers -- or dance at all, for that matter. “The guy who choreographed 'You Got Served.'"

"OH! ...Yo, that movie was hot!"

“Yes, it was,” I laughed. “I took his class and it was awesome. Now I have to figure out if I’m going to this audition tomorrow.”


“Yeah, the people who plan this convention produce a show at the end of the summer. So they’re auditioning people to be in the cast.”

“Ooh. And where’s the show?”

“It’s in California. So if I audition, and they happen to like me, there might be chance of going to L.A.”

“YOU’RE GOING TO L.A.?!” he exclaimed, excitedly.

“No, babe.” I giggled. “Calm down. I have to audition first, then, maybe, if do well enough ---

“IF you do well enough? What are you talking about?”

“Because babe,” I said, feeling an uncharacteristic anxiety setting in, “there are so many incredible dancers at this thing, and you know I only dance part-time. I mean, everyone is so good! I don’t even know if ---”

“No,” he interrupted. “NO! F#@& THAT! I don’t want to hear it. You are going to go to that audition in the morning, you’re going to dance your little dancer-girl behind off, they’re going to love you, and pick you, and then YOU’RE GOING TO L.A. And then when the show happens, I’ma be in the crowd with signs and confetti and foghorns and shit. Screw that. YOU’RE GOING to L.A.”

I should interject and say that the odds were stacked up against me in this audition. There were close to a hundred dancers trying out, and a number of them already had professional credits under their belts. I was, if nothing else, a no-name underdog. But I couldn’t say that now. Not with my boyfriend leading the cheer for his one-man pep squad. So I swallowed my anxiety and soaked up his encouragement -- hell, I’d need it if I was going up next to a hundred professionals -- and promised him I’d give a great audition in the morning.

The next day I headed back to the convention hall, my water bottle in my tote bag and my boyfriend’s pep talk in my back pocket. I stretched, learned the audition piece, and prepared to face the judges. I don’t remember much of the choreography, but I do remember dancing with a big, goofy grin on my face. One, because I was having a great time. And two, because I knew I had someone, even if he was three hours away, cheering for me to be great. I didn’t get chosen for the big show in L.A., but I did get to chat with the choreographer at the end of the day

"You know, I really loved you,” he said, “You were great."


"Yeah! You’re energy was awesome! You did a great job."

I pretty sure I grinned all the way home.

Later, the boyfriend seemed a bit bummed that there would be no trip to LA. (“I had a sign ready and everything,” he whined), but I assured him that his pep talk didn’t go to waste. “I had a GREAT audition,” I told him. “Even if I didn’t get picked. I felt amazing just being up there.” He helped me feel amazing.

The boyfriend and I parted ways some time later, but we remain friends to this day. What he doesn’t know (or didn’t know, lest he stumble upon this post now), is that that one pep talk, that one little nugget of encouragement, set the standard for the kind of encouragement I now know I need in a relationship.

I’m never surprised when I start dating a guy and find out that he has little to no interest in dance, and that’s fine by me. We all have our esoteric interests. So it’s not loving dance that’s important to me; it’s knowing that I love it and honoring that fact. The boyfriend couldn’t tell me the difference between a plié and a jeté, but that lack of knowledge didn't hold a candle to what he gave me. And in those moments of self-doubt and anxiety, that support is crucial. It could be the difference between a great audition, or falling flat on the floor.

When a woman has a one-man pep band playing for her, she feels like she can take on the world --- and whether she wins or not, she gets to come home to someone who’s still cheering, regardless.

Veronica Miller is a writer, radio producer -- and dancer -- living in Washington, DC. She blogs occasionally at veroniiblog.blogspot.com. She tweets constantly at twitter.com/veronicamarche. And if you're in the DC area, she'll be hitting the stage in November with Contradiction Dance

Have You Subscribed Yet? * Are You On Facebook? * Do You Tweet?

Have You Taken The MMWH Survey?


How Do You Test A Man?

“The Test of a Man”

The test of man is the fight that he makes.
The grit that he daily shows.
The way that he stands upon his feet.
And takes life’s numerous bumps and blows.

A coward can smile,
When there’s not to fear.
And nothing, his progress bars.
But it takes a man to stand and cheer.
While the other fellow stars.
It isn’t the victory after all,
But, the fight that a brother makes.

A man when driven against the wall,
takes the blows of fate.
With his head held high.
Bleeding, bruised, and pale!!
Is the man who will win, fate defied,
For he isn’t afraid to fail.

-Author Unknown-

What is the 2010, new economy’s Test of A Man?

Must he fight for everything --- out in the street and even inside his home?

And if he isn’t fighting is he any less of a man?

Is he weak for wanting peace (and quiet) even in the face of war?

What makes a man?

His swagger?

The clothes he wears?

The way he answers (or doesn’t answer) questions?

The shoes he wears?

The car he drives?

The fact that he doesn’t care about his shoes or car(s)?

The fact that he does?

How much money he makes?

How much money he doesn’t?

How much he keeps it all to himself?

How well he acts like he doesn’t care?

How sexily he smolders?

How fierce he is when angered?

How he doesn't resort to anger?

How sexy his mind might be?

How he deals with having no one to turn to?

How he acts like it all makes sense even when he knows deep down it doesn’t?

How good he is with his hands, in a fight and on her body?

How well he reigns in his testosterone (or how bad he doesn’t)?

How big that thing is (or isn’t)?

That he’s good in bed?

That he’s good out of bed?

How handy he is with a set of tools?

His ability to pay the right person to get the job done?

How much he loves his mama without being a mama’s boy?

How much he loves you (or not)?

How much he loves his kids?

How he’s planned for the future?

How he lives in the present?

How much he loves (or doesn't love) God?

What man, not in the movies or singing about himself on some song, can abide by all of this without blinking --- without going crazy?

Are these questions any different/newer than any "tests" that have been to men throughout the ages? If given enough thought, this list can go on forever. Add your "tests" in the comments below let's see how long the list can get. I bet when it reaches it’s end 50 -75% will sound just plain silly.

For a great conversation on manhood and manliness, check out Black And Married With Kids. They were discussing the subject everyday last week.

Have You Subscribed Yet? * Are You On Facebook? * Do You Tweet?


Why Are You Who You Are?

A very interesting completely fabricated self-analysis on behalf of LeBron James, basketball's and maybe sport's new villain du jour.

But a look at this clip definitely begs the following questions:

  • Who are you?
  • Who do you do it (whomever or whatever you are) for?

Have You Subscribed Yet? * Are You On Facebook? * Do You Tweet?


Don't Plan To Not Succeed

Over the weekend, my fifteen year old asked the following question about his impending tryout today for his high school basketball team:

"If I don't make the team because you know [some inaudibly mumbled reason] will you find some other leagues for me to play in like the Y or AAU?"

Just as I was beginning to answer him, it registered in my head what he had actually just asked me. I cut myself off and responded in kind:

"Why are you planning not to succeed? The only thing you need to be focused on, besides school, is doing your best on Monday. We'll deal with whatever happens after that, if and when it happens, but don't anticipate not making the team."

He nodded and said, "Okay."

Be encouraged and be motivated in all your doing. Don't plan for an outcome that negates the very outcome you're seeking. That's called shooting yourself in the foot, or giving up the race before you've run it.

How do you encourage members of your family when they are facing challenges? How do you encourage yourself?

Have You Taken The MMWH Survey?

Have You Subscribed Yet? * Are You On Facebook? * Do You Tweet?


This Week's Winners: 10/18 - 10/21

It's Friday. Thank God It's Friday... If you weren't around this week, and even if you were, the following took the top spots on the blog this week:

The Most Viewed And the Most "Liked" On Facebook:

What A Single Woman Wants: Part 5

The Most Tweeted:

Fall Beers That Make You Wanna Holler!

The Most Commented On (for the 2nd week in a row):

Investing In An Emotional Letdown

And before you go head over to Black & Married With Kids where I'm giving my opinion on Understanding The Tough Guy.

Enjoy the weekend! Be safe! We'll catch up next week!

Have You Subscribed Yet? * Are You On Facebook? * Do You Tweet? * Did You Complete The Survey?


What A Single Woman Wants: Part 5

A few weeks back I got to thinking, what if I had a few single women speak on what a single woman wants in a relationship? It would be the perfect opportunity for us folks in the married club to get a check-up. To either take stock on what we have or take note on where we as men might be falling short. After all, it may seem as if it were ancient history but once upon a time our wives were single too!

This week's entry is from Diamonte Hamlett. She blogs over at Single-Handed Mom. It is only in it's nascent stages but it's pretty darn good. You should definitely check it out after you read this inspiring post.

Singleness is Wholeness
by Diamonte Hamlett

When E. Payne first announced his guest blogging series, “What a Single Woman Wants”, I was at first filled with a sense of intrigue and then a sense of impending dread. I was intrigued, because after 6 years of a relationship that had run its course, I was again a single woman and a sense of dread because although I was single, I had no idea what I wanted.

It would be virtually impossible to write about what single women want when I had no clue. As I began to ponder my inability to articulate what I wanted, I realized that at this very moment in my life, I want nothing more than to be single, because single in many ways is the equivalent of wholeness. For me, singleness is not a burden, but rather an opportunity to purge my life of the things that detract from my purpose in order to allow my truer purpose to materialize.

Chivalry Isn't Dead

The topic of singleness made me think of a seemingly insignificant moment that happened to me a few years ago. I was at a fast food restaurant and a man let me move ahead of him in line.

Surprised by his gesture, I smiled and responded, “I guess chivalry is not dead.”

The guy at the register overheard my statement and responded with this succinct, but poignant statement:

“Chivalry is alive and well; it’s just in all the men that women do not want”.

I was speechless. His statement was both a prophetic and descriptive analysis of my life at that point time and even up until very recently. I had to admit to myself, several men had crossed my path and embodied many of attributes we as women say we want. These men were honest, thoughtful, romantic, unselfish, successful, committed, understanding, communicative, well adjusted and spiritual. While I wanted those qualities, I did not particularly want it from those men.

In response to their noble affections, I often ran scared, because what he was offering either didn’t come in the package I wanted, or I was so broken as a person that I had no idea how to receive that level of relationship or sustain it with someone who actually wanted the same thing I wanted. I found myself finding refuge in men that exacerbated the familiar ache of getting less than what I wanted and according to those who cared for me, less than what I deserved. The things I said I “wanted” were secondary to the prototype I wanted it from. Those qualities seemed so much more valuable coming from someone who did not innately possess them. Oh, the thrill of the chase.

Preparing For the Opportunity

So now, when someone asks me what I want, I am wise enough to admit that I do not know what I want. It has become clear that this journey is less about what I want and more about how I plan to be a person of sound enough character to handle it once it manifests. The answer to this question lies in my newfound belief about the purpose of singleness.

The Bible says, “What God hath put together, let no man put asunder.” For many years, I believed this verse was solely about married couples. It is indeed an edict that charges married couples to guard their union against outside influences who would seek to destroy it at all costs. In my state of newly minted singleness, I have begun to see this verse differently. It became clear to me that I am single woman, put together by the Creator, God. It is my duty to not let any man put that asunder.

When we become involved with people based on the litmus test of what “want”, we place ourselves at the peril of compromising what God has put together. In our singleness, we are in many ways joined to ourselves. This is sacred, because when the right person comes along it is this same “self” we will have to offer up.

Wholeness In Singleness

More than anything, our greatest desire as single women, must be wholeness. Singleness is our opportunity to understand that it is not any litany of noble attributes on a list that will bring purpose –driven love into our lives, but rather the quiet surrender found in the wisdom of not knowing what we want. If we allow it, singleness can lead us to a love that exceeds our greatest expectations and colors outside of the lines of our best drafted list.

For me, singleness is a healing process in which words cannot articulate what I really want. I plan to discover what I want, as I experience it for the very first time.

- Diamonte

Have something to say about being a Single Woman in the year 2010? Want to share your thoughts with the readers here at Makes Me Wanna Holler? There's only one spot left!
Email me via my CONTACT PAGE for more information.

Have You Subscribed Yet? * Are You On Facebook? * Do You Tweet?


Take Time To Be A Dad Today

The Ad Council just keeps cranking out these amazing Fatherhood Involvement PSAs.

And of course, no mention of Fatherhood Involvement would be complete without my absolute favorite:

24 million children live in the absence of their biological father. This should not be their burden.

Children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school, have healthy self-esteem, and avoid high-risk behaviors such as drug use, truancy, and criminal activity. Dads play a unique and irreplaceable role in their children’s lives. A father’s presence is essential to his child’s well-being.

You can learn more. You can get involved.

Have You Taken The MMWH Survey?

Fall Beers That Make You Wanna Holler!

I'm happy to present something for the guys who like being guys. Those of you who are fine with all this marriage and kids stuff but sometimes just want to sit down with a cold one, or two or few. There are also quite a few women out there with well developed palettes for a variety of brews. I'm happy to feature seasoned beer enthusiast and writer, Ale Sharpton. We've worked together on a number of projects at his magazine (www.jadoremag.com) where he is the executive editor. He is a homie from college and now that I've moved to his neck of the South, he is also a neighbor (across town somewhere). Without further ado...

Fall Beers That Make You Wanna Holler!
by Ale Sharpton
Romancing the Brew By Ale Sharpton
It’s autumn, baby! The hot months of summer have ended and so have the dominance of wheat beers served with citrus fruit slices and ice cold, low alcohol “light” pilsners that are slammed by the case to combat sweat-inducing summer afternoons.

Stores across the U.S. are making way for those slow-sipping, fragrant liquid masterpieces that encompass everything from nutty flavors to pumpkin and even grapefruit. I love this time of year for beer and so should you, so to help with the transition to the cooler months from October through the New Year, check these domestic lovelies that will surely broaden your horizons.


Pumpkin Ales

Pumpkins, the monstrous orange squash that’s popularly sacrificed, hollowed out and wasted for the sake of one night, get a lot more respect in the beer world. Brewers love the pumpkins’ semi-sweet properties and, when combined with nutmeg, cinnamon, ginger, cloves and other spices, they make some pretty tasty, complex beers with very little bitterness.Alcohol By Volume: Usually in the 5 to 6% area, but craft breweries are starting to make sweeter, more potent brews that reach up to the 8% level.

You gotta try…Dogfish Head’s Punkin
out of Delaware gets a lot of love nationwide (7%), and Samuel Adams Harvest Pumpkin Ale, the country’s leading craft brewer, is pretty decent (5.7%) for a beer that’s everywhere, but I recommend tasting the sweeter, stronger “imperial” pumpkin ales like Heavy Seas’ The Great Pumpkin (8%), and my favorite, Weyerbacher’s Imperial Pumpkin Ale (8%), to get the full range of what this style can deliver.

Amber, Red and Brown Ales

Their names come primarily from their color, and brown ales and ambers emulate the natural changes of the fall.). These styles usually have more emphasis on malt and also win tasters over with their flavors of lightly roasted nuts and slight sweetness. The red ales tend to be alittle more hoppy (floral, bitter and/or citrusy).

Alcohol By Volume: Mostly in the 4-7% range, although some imperials (stronger versions) are out there as well.

You gotta try…Rogue Hazelnut Brown Nectar out of Oregon is a flavorful goody (6.2%); Bell’s Best Brown Ale (5.8%), Brooklyn Brown Ale (5.5%), Anderson Valley’s Boont Amber (5.8%) and the Fat Tire Amber Ale (5.2 %) are very respectable; and Tampa Bay’s Cigar City Brewing flourishes on this style but they are hard to find, so if you do have a way to get the Maduro Oatmeal Raisin Cookie Brown Ale (5.5%), get it!

On the red ale tip, Stone’s Levitation (4.4%) is light in alcohol but not in flavor; the Green Flash Hop Head Red (6%) continues to garner critical acclaim; and the Lagunitas Censored is excellently balanced (5.9%). Taking things to the extreme, Lagunitas’ Lucky 13 (8.56%) and Terrapin’s Big Hoppy Monster out of Georgia (8.3%) do it big in bold flavor, strength and aroma, the way I like ‘em!

India Pale Ales (IPAs)

American IPAs are typically the most bitter, impactful and aromatic of them all ranging from piney to citrus thanks to the concentration of hops. They are also extremely popular to the point that there is a cult of dedicated sippers called “Hop Heads.” I am one of them (as you can see from all of the choices I listed below) because of their complexity and ability to arouse all of the senses during consumption, but the key to a great IPA is balancing the sweet with bitter. Although they are now produced year-round to answer the demand, stronger versions including those that have been aged in oak barrels tend to surface during the last quarter. You gotta love it! Hops Display Dennis ByronAlcohol By Volume: Alcohol varies. In fact, like stouts, this style is one of the most broad in the alcohol range going from around the mid 5s all the way to the double digits in strength. The stronger IPAs (called “imperial” or “double”) are typically robust, maltier, sweeter and thicker. One of the best ways to illustrate these differences is with Dogfish Head’s IPAs. They have the big-selling 60 Minute (6%), 90 Minute (9%) and the hard-to-find (and illegal in some states due its whopping potency) 120 Minute (a whopping 18%) IPAs that range in ABV, texture, color and sweetness.

You gotta try…Way too many to list here, but regarding availability, I recommend easing your way into IPA land by tasting the Sierra Nevada Pale Ale (not categorized as an IPA but it’s a great introduction before going for the more aggressive, official IPA styles) and following it up with their legit Torpedo IPA (7.2%). You can’t lose with Pennsylvania’s Victory Hop Devil (6.7%); the SweetWater IPA puts ATL on the map (6.7%); Avery’s Maharaja (10.3%) and Southern Tier’s Unearthly (10%) out of Lakewood. NY rock the house; Colorado’s Great Divide’s Hercules Double IPA (10%) is strong in every way; anything by Lagunitas (one of my favorite breweries) including the Maximus (8.2) and Hop Stoopid (8%) are winners; the Heavy Seas Loose Cannon reppin’ Maryland (7.25%) does the job; Stone, who consistently takes hopping to the extreme, has the Ruination (7.7%); Michigan’s Founders Brewery always delivers so try their Double Trouble (9.4%); and one of the best beers, period, is the Bell’s Two-Hearted Ale (7.1%).

By the way, there is annually a race to the nearest store to get the extremely limited Bell’s HopSlam (10%) before they run out. It’s that good.

So folks, enjoy these brews, drink them cool instead of ice cold to truly appreciate all of their characteristics (especially aroma and taste), and raise them up as the leaves descend. I am sure there will be a few that will “make you wanna holler” once you get your sip on so find one…or two…or three that fit your palate. And yes, there are hundreds of others, but this is surely a great start on your way to beer-sipping bliss.

Ale says…

  • Look for the bomber sizes (usually 22-ounce bottles) of the various beer styles because those are usually limited edition specialty brews that really demonstrate how good, creative and vast beer flavors can be.
  • I strongly recommend you go to specialty beer bars with a lot of taps. That way, you can order a few “tastes” for free (usually) before purchasing a whole one. Since many of them are seasonal, get an idea of what your palate calls for before especially those “one-and-done” ales are gone!


Got questions? Ale has the answers. Just hit him up in the comments below!

Hannibal Matthews_Ale Sharpton-14
Dennis Malcolm Byron aka “Ale Sharpton” has been a beer enthusiast for more than two decades. A longtime imbiber, he’s taken his appreciation for beer to the next level, writing and educating consumers around the nation about the frosty beverage. To learn more visit his popular website, www.alesharpton.com, for more brew love.

Have You Subscribed Yet? * Are You On Facebook? * Do You Tweet?


'I Love My Hair': The Story Behind The Sensation

This Sesame Street video has been making its rounds in the blogosphere since it debuted last Tuesday on October 12. But do you know the story behind it? There is always a story behind a story. This one, 'I Love My Hair': A Father's Tribute To His Daughter, posted on NPR.org and the subsequent impact it is having is a pretty good one. And of course I love it even more because it is yet another example of Father-Daughter love.

Please read the following excerpt below:

A little Muppet girl has started a sensation. The unnamed puppet with an afro sings a love song to her hair.

"I Love My Hair" debuted on the Oct. 4 episode of Sesame Street. It was posted on the show's YouTube page — and then women began posting the video on their Facebook pages.

African-American bloggers wrote that it brought them to tears because of the message it sends to young black girls.

Joey Mazzarino, the head writer of Sesame Street, is also a Muppeteer who wrote the song for his daughter. Mazzarino is Italian. He and his wife adopted their 5-year-old daughter, Segi, from Ethiopia when she was a year old.

Mazzarino says he wrote the song after noticing his daughter playing with dolls.

"She wanted to have long blond hair and straight hair, and she wanted to be able to bounce it around," he tells NPR's Melissa Block.

for the rest, please visit 'I Love My Hair': A Father's Tribute To His Daughter...

Do you have 2 minutes? Please take the MMWH Survey.


TRON: Legacy - A MMWH First Look

Although this trailer is hardly new, this is it's debut on Makes Me Wanna Holler. Of course I saw the original TRON in 1982. Back then (I won't say what grade I was in) I had dreams of destroying the MCP, getting the girl and most importantly, holding a stick out in front of me and having a futuristic motorcycle form around me out of thin air. As wide-eyed as I was over the whole thing back then, I thought the graphics were just a little cheesy.

So of course I was totally skeptical when they announced the "sequel" about two or so years ago. It's been almost 30 years! Yet again Hollywood was tampering with something that should remain untouched in its space (and decade) for the sake of one potential big box office weekend. Or so I thought.

But it is 2010 and technology has most certainly caught up with the imaginations of us boys who are now men, but are forever boys at heart (and in our dreams). Watching these trailers for TRON: Legacy turned me into a believer once more. Now I have something to look forward to this December to satisfy my inner geek. The acting juggernaut, Jeff Bridges, is back, Daft Punk is doing the soundtrack and the light cycles from back in the day have nothing on these bad boys featured in the next clip.

Shhh...can you hear that? That's the sound of you wanting one in your favorite color complete with a killer frisbee.

Have You Subscribed Yet? * Are You On Facebook? * Do You Tweet?

Take The Makes Me Wanna Holler Survey

As I delve deeper into the rabbit hole that is social media, I am always on the lookout for ways to make your experience here the best it can possibly be.

I need you to lend a hand in this effort by filling out a new survey of mine. Please click here to fill it out. It should take all of 30 - 45 seconds to complete.


Have You Subscribed Yet? * Are You On Facebook? * Do You Tweet?


What To Do This Weekend: 10/15 - 10/18

I'll Give You All I Can...

After a very short but thought provoking week we are headed into the weekend. We learned a 11 Facts About Breast Cancer, we were schooled on what an Emotional Letdown really is and we heard from yet another Single Woman guest blogger which shed another ray of light of understanding on the female heart for us guys.

If you're looking for something to do just to have fun with the wife or that special someone, or you need to make up for your own share of letdowns (this goes for both men and women) and I've got a goodie for you the kids --- check out the following:


Showtimes This Weekend At A Film Festival Near You:

Saturday, October 16, 1:15pm
Contemporary Arts Center
900 Camp St., New Orleans, LA 70130

Saturday, October 16, 3:30 PM
The Franklin Institue, Franklin Theater
222 North 20th St., Philadelphia, PA 19103

Atlanta Marriott Norcross
475 Technology Parkway
Norcross, GA

Saturday, October 16, 5:10pm
Hotel Ivy, 201 South Eleventh St.
Minneapolis, MN 55415

Sunday, October 17th, 7:00 PM
100 Voorhees Hall #105
71 Hamilton St., College Ave Campus
Rutgers University, New brunswick, NJ


The Day That Changed My Life is a play exploring the lives of those who have been touched by cancer. Each night's performance will benefit:

  • St. Jude Children's Research Hospital (provides service for all children regardless of their inability to pay)
  • Hope Lodge (free housing for out of town patients and their family)
  • Forest Moon (free retreats for cancer patients, survivors and caregiver/family)

Friday, October 15 & Saturday October 16, 8:00pm - 11:00pm
248 West 60th Street
New York, NY
Tickets can be purchased in advance from the Manhattan Movement & Arts Center

(52% Discount!)

Gain full access to all of Liberty Science Center’s nine permanent exhibitions, along with the Mammoths and Mastodons: Titans of the Ice Age exhibit which features a 42,000-year-old intact baby mammoth named Lyuba on display for only the second time in the U.S.

222 Jersey City Boulevard
Jersey City, NJ 07305
Purchase tickets here.

Enjoy your weekend!

Disclosure: This is an unpaid post. The selections were made completely at the author's discretion.

Have You Subscribed Yet? * Are You On Facebook? * Do You Tweet?


What A Single Woman Wants: Part 4

A few weeks back I got to thinking, what if I had a few single women speak on what a single woman wants in a relationship? It would be the perfect opportunity for us folks in the married club to get a check-up. To either take stock on what we have or take note on where we as men might be falling short. After all, it may seem as if it were ancient history but once upon a time our wives were single too!

Please give a warm MMWH welcome to our fourth guest Single Woman Blogger, Ms. Calandra Hackney.

Be What You Want
by Calandra Hackney

I am a firm believer in asking the universe for what it is you desire, and it will manifest itself in abundance. A couple of years ago I was at the end of my rope and something had to give. I had started a new job that did not pay me in abundance and my rent was exorbitant. I was doing the typical New York thing of barely making ends meet. One night I was in my apartment and I pulled out a piece of paper and wrote a prayer basically telling the Lord that one of three things needed to happen:

  1. A job in NYC that paid $80,000+
  2. A tenure track professorship in North Carolina, specifically the Triangle area (that is where I’m originally from)
  3. A one bedroom apartment in NYC for $600 a month

The latter of the three happened and my rent is actually cheaper than $600 a month! The moment I spoke it in the affirmative, let it go and trusted it happened in divine order. So, I get the bright idea to do the same thing asking for the man that I want. Hey, why not I got a one bedroom to show for it? One night I took out a writing pad and made a long list of what I was looking for in my soul mate, my man. He was tall, Black, handsome, respectful, had lucrative income, and loved his Mama to name a few. I spoke every single word on that list out loud in the affirmative, prayed, put it under my pillow and slept on it. A couple of days later I do laundry not even thinking about my list. Obviously I had let it go and was trusting, right? I go to get the linen out of the dryer and there it was balled up, tight, the blue ink having disappeared, my man, a crispy ball at the bottom of the dryer.

I started to think after that why am I creating this list of what I want or am looking for in my man because it’s not happening. I started to really look at what I was asking for and of course thought the list was unrealistic and I should probably lower my standards. Take these for example which are two things I happen to want in a man: My soul mate is someone that is generous and is able to give as well as receive and my soul mate and I are spiritually connected. As I was looking at these two specific attributes that I wanted in my man I had to ask myself do I exhibit the same attributes. In order to receive you have to give. Am I generous in my daily life? And I’m not talking monetarily. Do I give love, a nice thought, a blessing, do a good deed? And as far as spirituality I had to ask if I was being my best spiritual self. In order for anything that you ask for to manifest itself you to have to be what it is you are asking for. If you want love you have to be love. If you want things created in your life you have to be creative.

What single women want varies especially when we get down to specifics and type and all that good stuff but I believe at the core we are all looking for unconditional love in the mate that we are asking for and that love must first start from within. Once we are loving ourselves and operating through love, not fear, anything is possible. Be what it is you want. Be love!

If you liked this post or any of the other posts on the Single Woman series please retweet this by clicking the Tweet button either at the top or bottom of this post and add the hashtag: #WSWW who knows it may even start trending!

Have You Subscribed Yet? * Are You On Facebook? * Do You Tweet?


Investing In An Emotional Letdown

As told to me during a conversation with a beautiful, proud and successful woman...

On Monday He called her up at work to make plans for Friday --- a dinner date.

got very excited and began planning from the moment they hung up.

On Tuesday, She plans out her outfit: shoes, nails, and begins deciding what is She going to do with her hair by Friday.
Piggy Photo By EPayne
On Wednesday, She's skipping lunch to go to the mall (maybe not even the one near her job) to pick up something to wear maybe a new top, maybe an accessory or two and of course new shoes...

I interject: "And you've got to call your girlfriends to let them know you're going out."

She counters: "Honey, I did that as soon as I got off the phone with Him on Monday."

I decide to remain silent for the remainder of the lecture.

Wednesday comes and goes in a blur and Thursday is oddly quiet.

Because She has high hopes for Friday she calls on Thursday night just to make sure things are still set --- just to be on the safe side. Most wait until the day of...

He doesn't really recall making plans for Friday, or at least not serious ones. Something else has come up, maybe His money isn't right. Who knows? Either way it's not going to happen and He's hardly contrite about it, not to the degree that she would expect considering She's been anticipating spending time with Him all week.

She becomes "emotional."

He now insists it's no big deal. It's just dinner. They can go any day, another day, another time.

Now She's angry and saying things She normally wouldn't say to someone She really likes and really wants to spend time with. She's cursing too.

He says, "You see that's why I can't deal with you...you gotta make a big deal out of everything." He goes on to admonish her for Her attitude and Her mouth.

But He doesn't know about the week She spent investing in the few hours she expected to have with
Him away from the hustle and bustle of the work week --- the rat race that keeps most of us prisoners, the worry and anxiety of bills and the unknown impending future or whatever it may be. It was to be time well spent, spending it with Him.

For Him, it's just dinner.

Then She tells me, remaining ever so cool and collected but now with fire in her eyes, "Then We [women] get slammed for being "emotional" (she puts up her index and middle fingers of both hands to mimic quotation marks), especially Black Women, and so many of us are stupid enough to accept the blame for something you've (men) caused. And you all go on about your business and move on while we're sitting around somewhere blaming ourselves for being this way.

I sit there with my mouth hanging open. In a flash, I remember at least 6 times I've done the same thing.

And then the light bulb lights up so bright above my head it explodes.

I tell her: "What you're speaking of is an emotional investment versus just being emotionally reactive."

"Preach," She responds, seeing that I've turned to the Page that she is on.

I continue: "So you guys get 'emotional' after investing your emotions into something and being disappointed...you're investing in an emotional [I pause to find the words] letdown. And no man would ever invest money into something and remain calm when they lose money, so why should women be any different when it comes to their investments?"

"You are so lucky I'm not charging for this session," She said with a smile.

I laugh, but I'm not sure she is completely joking. I instantly feel the levity and the power that comes with enlightenment. In less than fifteen minutes a complete stranger I met at a networking event gave me the keys to understanding nearly every other woman walking the face of the Earth and specifically, my wife.

A day or so later on my wedding anniversary I confidently apologized to my wife for all the times I have been the guy described above. This time, I actually knew what I was apologizing for and my She actually knew it was sincere.

Have You Subscribed Yet? * Are You On Facebook? * Do You Tweet?


11 Facts You Need To Know About Breast Cancer

by Dr. Brandi Brandon Knight, Ph.D.

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. This year marks the 25th anniversary of the organization that began the celebration of survival and honoring those who have lost their battles to Breast Cancer. In 1989, I lost my mother to breast cancer – she was 37 years old. I have dedicated my life to breast cancer research and education. Here is some information about Breast Cancer that everyone should know.

FACT#1: Cancer is defined as uncontrolled, unregulated cell growth. This means that your normal body cells have the potential to turn into cancerous cells. Cancer can be a result of genetic mutations, environmental influences (ie.UV rays), racial backgrounds, lack of exercise and poor eating habits, smoking – just to name a few.

FACT#2: Breast Cancer is the second most common cancer to American women – behind skin cancer. Caucasian women are more likely to develop breast cancer whereas African-American women are more likely to die due to the disease.

FACT#3: Breast tissue extends from the clavicle (the collarbone) to the 2nd rib. It covers the pectoralis major muscle (the pecs) in both men and women. Due to the fact that men do have a small amount of breast tissue, men are not exempt from developing breast cancer. Men account for 2% of the diagnosed breast cancer cases each year. So men, be responsible for your breast health, too!

FACT#4: Increased awareness, education, and improved medical detection and treatment options have attributed to the decrease in the number of deaths due to breast cancer. It is estimated that around 40,000 women will lose their lives due to breast cancer in 2010. Thankfully, this number of deaths has declined by 2% each year from 1998-2007.

FACT#5: Early detection is the best protection. The earlier that someone is diagnosed with breast cancer, the better their chances of survival. Women 40 and over are encouraged to receive a yearly mammogram – which can detect very small tumors that you may not be able to feel during a routine breast examination.

FACT#6: Self-Breast Examinations (SBE) is extremely important for early detection of Breast Cancer. Starting in their 20s, women are advised to perform an SBE correctly at the same time each month. You know your breasts the best, so you will be able to know if changes occur.

FACT#7: Identification of the “Breast Cancer genes” called BRCA1 and BRCA2, was an incredible advancement to cancer research. If someone tests positive for either gene, they are at a higher risk for developing breast cancer AND/OR ovarian cancer. Genetic testing is necessary to see if you carry the gene.

FACT#8: The relative risk for someone positive for BRCA1 or BRCA2 to develop breast and/or ovarian Cancer jumps up to 50%.

FACT#9: Up to 90% of breast cancer cases that are diagnosed are sporadic – there was no prior family history of breast cancer. That leaves 10% of diagnosed cases to be hereditary – there was a prior family history. This means it’s not always your family’s fault for your health.

FACT#10: In 2007, the USPS reported that sales of the Breast Cancer Awareness stamp have raised $59.5 million to fund breast cancer research. Thank you for snail mail.

FACT#11: Triple Negative Breast Cancer is a highly aggressive form of breast cancer that disproportionately affects African-American women under the age of 40. It is very difficult to treat and spreads quickly. Therefore, it is imperative that younger women keep up with their SBEs and yearly doctor’s visits.

Contributor Bio:
Dr. Brandi Brandon Knight received her postdoctoral training at Emory University in Atlanta, GA. She was a part of the Fellowships in Research and Science Teaching (FIRST) postdoctoral training program which provides research training in addition to formal teaching experience. Dr. Knight taught Cellular Biology as well as Biomolecules in the Biology Department at Spelman College. Along with her research and teaching responsibilities, Dr. Knight serves on numerous committees including the FIRST Executive Committee and the international Associate Member Council (AMC) for American Association for Cancer Research (AACR). Dr. Knight graduated with a B.S. degree in Biology from Spelman College in 2001. She went on to receive her Ph.D. in Biomedical Sciences from Morehouse School of Medicine in 2007. Recently, Dr. Knight has returned to Morehouse School of Medicine as a faculty member in the Department of Medical Education.

Have You Subscribed Yet? * Are You On Facebook? * Do You Tweet?


An Anniversary: New Beginnings & New Life

When my wife first introduced me to the song below, I twisted up my face in disbelief. But she shut me down quickly, "What?! He is killing it in this song."

And then I listened to the words. And then I listened again with my eyes closed...

Today is my wedding anniversary and although my wife and I have known each other for 10 years, these last 3 of marriage have been TOUGH. For anyone who thinks just living together and marriage are the same thing (as I once did when I was living in another galaxy), you're wrong. It's not even up for debate.

They say the first 3 years are the test. Well our 2nd year was only topped by this last year which had us both wondering what had we done to ourselves and our kids. I proudly used to think it could and would never happen to me. But it was a year that saw me lose myself and almost lose her, right out our front door, literally.

But then I found myself. ["And when he came to himself..." as the Parable of the Prodigal Son goes.] And I ran after her. Not as some deranged ego-broken man chasing down some female. But as a husband --- humble but strong, remorseful, emptied of old opinions and open to rebuild. Ready, willing and able to fight for love.

Because when a woman loves...

Happy Anniversary, Mrs. Payne-Payne!

Photo Credit: Ross Oscar Knight Photography © 2007.

Be encouraged, married people. It's a lifelong experience.

Have You Subscribed Yet? * Are You On Facebook? * Do You Tweet?


How To Live Free - How To Live Fearless

I'm not one for bringing church to Makes Me Wanna Holler, but yesterday I was in this place featured in the clip below, not expecting anything more than a good word to live on for the rest of the week. Instead, I was Impacted in a way I never even thought possible. The words in the clip below freed me and now I look at life much differently than I did just hours before I arrived at church. I am happily anticipating the future.

This is my third installment of my series on fear and all the poisons that come from it. If you have the time and are willing and open to hear something incredible, then please check out the clip below.

I Never Left from Impact Church on Vimeo.

Have You Subscribed Yet? * Are You On Facebook? * Do You Tweet?


What To Watch: Waiting For Superman

If there's anything you should see this weekend this is the movie. Playing in select theaters now. Please check the Waiting For Superman Official Website for movie times and locations. They also have some great information there and ways for you, yes you, to get involved via social media to better education here in America.

Have You Subscribed Yet? * Are You On Facebook? * Do You Tweet?

Top Posts of September 2010

Somehow I neglected doing this for August, but below is the best of the best of what was read and commented on in September based on your visits and pageviews:

  1. Married Life
  2. My Little Black Book
  3. What A Single Woman Wants: Part 1
  4. How To Face & Overcome Fear (as a Man)
  5. What A Single Woman Wants: Part 2
  6. Fear, The Fatherhood Killer
  7. Family

Thanks for reading!

Have You Subscribed Yet? * Are You On Facebook? * Do You Tweet?